Tuesday, December 23, 2008

One more dawn breaks kissing the horizon, every mind leaping for the newer goals with a rejuvenated spirit, with a more pragmatic thinking, with a wider band of thinking, with more rays of hope, with new found loved ones, with even more saturated ego, with a mighty heart, with a cherubic face, with a more benevolent soul,

I want to lead this new day in a better way :)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Insensitive me or ??

Last time I penned down the above three lines. Mind was fuming haplessly for no reasons. Life was tough though effortless. But those efforts were not abler enough to steer a cheer even. Pondering over the virtual myth, frantically chasing the dreams which would never be mine in destiny yet I gave it a try.

Just completed another novel, “that thing called LOVE”, few lines are still rendering over my mind.

IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEBODY, LET THEM GO.
IF THEY RETURN, THEY WERE ALWAYS YOURS
IF THEY DON’T, THEY NEVER WERE!!

I was taken a back with the sublime influence of these words. How could a poet write it so beautifully, yet everyone can relate it so easily. Feelings of strong disgust were undeniable at those times, whole world seem staring at me with piercing thoughts. Even the soul couldn’t retain the composure, every bit falls out of place. It was horrendous; one thought kept bickering in my heart. Why am I taking things to its worst end?

Yes, I quit it there only. It was not just one bit, a dilemma bulging out everyday in my mellow heart. Leaving behind such chilled memories which had churned me upside down, had made me trembled voraciously, I remorse my feelings yet none is to be accused but myself.

I am not sure what else to write to continue this spontaneity, which I doubt for the ardent readers. This post stands nowhere, yet a little closer to my own heart atleast. Two weeks full of mixed emotions playing with my heart, feelings trying to bulge yet I suppress those hard. Feeling tougher and less sensitive, yet this is life. Recently I read the movie review of “rab ne bana diti jodi”, a movie where the flamboyant hero is so inexpressive. He has to keep his feelings into his heart as if packed in a tiffin box. He rides a simple scooter and feels imprudent in folding the sleeves of his shirt. An undeterred smile unlike a wicked grin could say it all. That sincerety in his smile while taking hold of pepsi was truly hard to ignore. But one keeps chasing the dreams haplessly diluting his happiness into the sour times, expecting the unexpected, and trying to take possession of what was never yours.

Forgotten are those words or the sayings of history, life makes you learn the ruthless ways, moulding those sincere feelings into the insensitive strings of curbed emotions.

Wah shakl pighli to har shay mein dhal gayee jaise
Ajeeb baat hui hai usse bhulane mein….

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Hmmm..

As you grow, quality of life degrades..

Your destiny will make you cry in a room full of deaf persons !!

Monday, November 24, 2008

A thought came..

On a bright sunny day, a thought came to my mind. " I have got ample of time to do things, but why these things are running short with me ". Sun was knocking over my head, eyes were feeling uneasiness, the same uneasiness which a new born baby feels when the sun's rays stuck the eyes first time. Bubbles sprouting from the sky (experience those while looking at the sun with naked eye, but with composed mind), one could sense the merry hovering in the sky. I have had enough time staring at the flying birds, mind totally bogged down by the emptiness of thoughts. Walking with bare feet over the green lawn, I always crib for my unheard wishes. Rendered thoughts splashing over the perch of mind, pages dancing to and fro with light gushes of chilled breeze. Few drops spilling from the coffee mug, yet i had never accused them for unwanted interruption. Looking up into the vast sky, writing few words with the ink of my heart, time never compromised to settle down. Time was hard to beat and i felt pathetic utilizing it over my insane words. This was me, a year ago !!

God forbids, Even a thought of doing the same, shrinks my heart to bottom. I never ever had expected the wheels of fortune to turn so fast. Neither i am complaining nor i am feeling the pleasure, yet its a mixture of both. Days were so, when i had no wishful longing and time never-ending. And are the present days, wishes are endless but left with no time to fulfill those. Insanity has been taken over by the words of wisdom. Those wishes are no more unheard, the echo still persists in my ears. Time flies away with wink of eye, settling dusk takes no time to transform itself into a new day. I, my mellow heart bows over the ordinance of time...

Hazaaron khwaishein aisi ki, har khwaish pe dam nikle ....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Never ever so...

Holding my breath to ponder over some thoughtful giggles in my desolated cabin, this is the last thing on my mind when I leave my apartment in the morning.

Yet I never give vent for those thoughts to smell the fresh air outside, curbed in my heart only. Sometimes I think,” would all this ever has an end?". I wish I too have some beautiful moments to cherish in my life.

Moments beholded that can soothe the fresh scars over my memory. For such a merry moments, one needs ample of time. I am really running out of it, I wish I had one more year of graduation or i could had spent one more year before joining the school.

Being a mischievous child, one always aims to accompany those children carrying their school bags.

After getting to school, it shifts to those wearing exotic colors roaming relentlessly in the college campus.

Being in college, an adolescent mind longs for a job in prestigious MNC or to have a drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend, whichever option seems feasible.

Till date I carry all these longings with me and have probably achieved every bit I ever wanted to be a part of my life. Now so many wishes to fulfill and even lesser time. It was never so nor I ever expected it to be so.

Life is blurred and was never so !!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Farewell, Dada, India will miss you !!


Indian cricket will miss the character that Saurav Ganguly was...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

then...and now??

How it feels to be on the driver’s seat? May it be your office chores or you may be leading a front for the production and quality of your products. All are same. A very fine line diminishes when the person shirks off the responsibility. Today I shall conjure my past to unveil the changes which I had seen in myself in the recent four months.

First week of August:

My immediate senior called up. I was expecting none as usual because he talks non-sense with utter pleasure. I gave him the wicked smile displaying my grinning teeth. “Aseem, when I joined, it took me a week to get hold of this prestigious chair. I worked through day and night in my initial years and hence hold such a regard amongst my companions.” I again flashed a dismaying smile in agreement, “I was expecting you to be at this chair till date, but you seem to be still enjoying your college party”, he said.

In my minds, I agreed but this flawless ego denied accepting the truth. I have spent just a week in this workshop, what’s the real hurry to put my hands in the lion’s jaw. No hurries while get going with the bay.

First week of November:

I am still waiting for these lights to get dim with the settling of dusk, but it never happens. Time goes past with a blink of eye and I keep my fingers crossed treading over the harrowed times. Today it’s Saturday (November 8th, 2008) and these silent walls seem to be giving me a stern look. All alone punching the feelings into this keyboard through the words of my mellow heart, life is unexplainable. The same chair gives me no pleasure nor does that senior seem to be interested in perturbing my peace with his rubbish statements.

I wish somebody could please save a minute and talk to me in this undisturbing peace, to soothe the turbulent musings of my heart; one could lend a helping word for this dismayed mind. But these longings would continue to be the sole partner in these hard years.

But I can guarantee the wisdom I felt, while walking back to the metro station of Dwarka sector-11 is the greatest virtue of time. Eyes do never so genuinely hate those beautiful faces in metro, upon which it used to drool over in the sunny days of august. Still those flashing lights of moving vehicles do create a fuzzy turbulence in eyes, which I avoid watching at. Plates displaying the stations in metro reminds of the countless data plates of transformers, eyes have glanced at this very day. That compartment very scantily clawed with very less persons, giving obnoxious looks of my cabin, is quite horrible to stare at. Closing eyes under the cover of imagination is the best way to kill time. Few more minutes and feet hailing over the stares into my apartment. Switch off the lights, my mind, my heart and every bit.

Rest I shall talk tomorrow…..

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Yipppy :)

This deepavali is special to me in many ways. I am never sure for the coming times and hence don't really expect much from it. Whatever is present it is real and divine. Nothing else ever existed neither in history books nor in the imaginative stores of mind. Present is the actual and will remain as ever. Don't try to fix up your future or get rid of your past. They were never so dearly clinging to you, only you were convinced as being chased by them. It is beautiful and shall always exhibit the same fascination for those who follow it blindly. Only your present matters and make it big !!

My fingers are actually bulging out with so many topics to share, but left with very little time after my juggling office. Soon, pretty soon i shall open up my heart for some beautiful work, atleast for me. I am once again feeling that zeal to shout running over the chaotic ways of life. Life is indeed exemplary, may it be the night journeys in railways, watching those marching feets at wagah border forcing my heart to thump in the loudest tone, serene pleasure at golden temple and my own village is nevertheless the best place to reside...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

SHUBH DEEPAVALI

Once again times have traveled a long run bearing every agony with the monotonous beats and every scar as a virtue of bad times.

No more. Now no more of those forgettable moments, i can sense the merry hovering around myself. Lamps are once again shining in the wake of the much-awaited day. Yes, it is indeed. Days were never passing so smooth. Those crackers are very hard to forget which showed me the glimpses of happier times. Some lights fusing together very dim, sounds of crackers receding away but never from the memories. Colors of RANGOLI were never so brighter nor one could deny the consistent chaos in the malls. I just love to roam around relentlessly, so much pleased to see those faces wearing the soft smiles. Busy in the preparations yet doing it so leisurely, that is where an Indian soul resides. I never feel that aroma anywhere else in world, which one feels gripping the souls with harmonious peace, it just resides here few inches down your memory lane.

Enjoy this day keeping in mind its very origination and real essence of this sacred day.

I still have reminiscences of my school days where every essay upon deepavali concluded with the phrase:

DAAL-ROTI GHAR DI,
DIWALI AMRITSAR DI..

May god bless you all !!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Masters equals success?

A way back my mind rendered over the thought why this individualistic world is so sublime. For a moment, a person inherits the right of every breath you take. Whole world seem to converge under the realm of that loving soul. But these farce feelings plummeted the next moment confronted with the reality. Reality precipitates the materialistic world. A land where selfishness prevails over every relationship and people walk over the heart of loved ones in callous ways, a walk that never ends because this trodden path ceases to limit. Limit is the limit to our selfishness; our endless strive for the monetary pleasures. People try to carve out the maximum from the relationships even.

I expect many of you profusely denying the above fact. How many times you have tried to reap a professional benefit out of your personal circle? If still you are nodding in an aggravated manner, you deserve applause. Others should not feel robbed because it is tailor-made path for the corporate success of which you can boast in your desultory living style.

This word “success” is ultimate fantasy. I have grown up listening to these words of wisdom, “Hardwork is the key to success”. Last few days had engulfed the pleasant environment with the fumes of confusion.

Few thought-provoking ideas:
Masters in Engineering will degrade your corporate value.
I shall pursue Masters from abroad.
Masters from IIT is losing its sheen.
You won’t get the package after Masters even what you are earning now.

Last but never the least- Yaar, There’s nothing left in India, go and prove your worth in abroad, they can appreciate your professionalism.

Such dilemmas were not in queue until I was in my teens. Just one goal and it was sheer dedicated hard work at every tick of clock. Now under the much-coveted corporate covers, ideas came pouring in.

Probably everyone has read at least once in his/her life;
HARDWORK IS KEY TO SUCCESS.

Then why all these raised eyebrows, maddening discussions and all such hullabaloo. Does success has been authenticated to America only? Or people in India have recently started shirking work and God has given full credit of success to those who are fleeing to western part of world. “SUCCESS” may not be so kind over India because our country happens to contain not even a single alphabet of success.

Or may be HARDWORK IS NO MORE A KEY TO SUCCESS, AMERICA HAS MADE ANOTHER KEY!!

No more rubbish discussions over this vicious dilemma. Still to me, it completes the definition and shall do it with intensity harnessing the success from the pearls of perspiration only, not an inherited wealth of those working Silicon valley !!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I am unable to find those quick-witted lines for my blog nor those words come smoothly to my mind. I actually liked my posts for the past so many months but why am i losing that sheen? I am not sure whether this sudden loss is virtual or has a hand of inevitability. Nothing is sure. That droplet of water tripping from the comb or giant tsunami sea waves; everything has got an end. Everything has to die, time may lack in humane scenario. I guess i am losing it, with every tick of time i am missing the golden touch. It shall wipe out soon from my soul and in a matter of days from those too, who used to laud for my efforts.

But before every act of extinguishing, its origin is again slated at that very moment.

I shall wait for those godly moments !!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Friends..

As any other guy, the day I entered the premises of my college for graduation, with just dream to gather as much as I can. I have nothing to lose at that time because I possessed nothing. The day I left the grounds, the scenario had tumbled. During all those years, some stayed by me to know the real me. Probably the time has come when I must unfold the real personas of those who had seen me changing in these past years. Next few posts would never be enough to decipher my feelings into words, yet I shall do it with the pure words of honesty.

It shall carry the brief description of:

Kapil Bansal (First yar)
Amardeep Puri (First year)
: It was pretty strange to share my room with someone else too, yet i found it comfortable.

Robin Bansal (Second year)
Siddarth Aggarwal (Second year)
: These both took the hell out of me in second year with their stubborn rivalry all day and night.

Amulpreet Singh Sehgal (Third year)
Ashish Syngal (Third year)
: The year, I spoke the least. Mostly the computer system in our room kept banging with the silent walls of the room.

Ashish Marwaha (Third and final year)
Sumeet Goyal (Third and final year)
: Do I need to mention it !!!

to be continued......

Friends..

As any other guy, the day I entered the premises of my college for graduation, with just dream to gather as much as I can. I have nothing to lose at that time because I possessed nothing. The day I left the grounds, the scenario had tumbled. During all those years, some stayed by me to know the real me. Probably the time has come when I must unfold the real personas of those who had seen me changing in these past years. Next few posts would never be enough to decipher my feelings into words, yet I shall do it with the pure words of honesty.It shall carry the brief description of:

Kapil Bansal (First yar)
Amardeep Puri (First year)
: It was pretty strange to share my room with someone else too, yet i found it comfortable.

Robin Bansal (Second year)
Siddarth Aggarwal (Second year)
: These both took the hell out of me in second year with their stubborn rivalry all day and night.

Amulpreet Singh Sehgal (Third year)
Ashish Syngal (Third year)
: The year, I spoke the least. Mostly the computer system in our room kept banging with the silent walls of the room.

Ashish Marwaha (Third and final year)
Sumeet Goyal (Third and final year)
: Do I need to mention it !!!

to be continued......


Friday, September 19, 2008

Many may not agree with me, probably today, only today i am feeling to crib something right from the lovable blocks of my heart. Some posts were meant to just ride upon the voyage; just for the heck of continuing what i had done for the past two years in a frantic mood always, yes as always.

Once again I would bring back the aroma that had engulfed the emotions of many, atleast mine. Yes, I am pretty much the same though sometimes i could sense the fatigue of job taking a toll over me. But naah, I had never bowed and shall never in the future. I tried to be calm in my word composition, but it never excites me either. I like the same arrogant manner of writing, unexpected halts and those same buttered phrases but can never compromise with diction. I have never appreciated any compromises coming over my way; let the things fall out as per the plan. And please pardon me for my atrocious word usage. Aaaagghh, it gave me jitters last time. This time if you really feel pissed off, better quit reading...

Many may not agree with me, probably today, only today i am feeling to crib something right from the lovable blocks of my heart. Some posts were meant to just ride upon the voyage; just for the heck of continuing what i had done for the past two years in a frantic mood always, yes as always.

Once again I would bring back the aroma that had engulfed the emotions of many, atleast mine. Yes, I am pretty much the same though sometimes i could sense the fatigue of job taking a toll over me. But naah, I had never bowed and shall never in the future. I tried to be calm in my word composition, but it never excites me either. I like the same arrogant manner of writing, unexpected halts and those same buttered phrases but can never compromise with diction. I have never appreciated any compromises coming over my way; let the things fall out as per the plan. And please pardon me for my atrocious word usage. Aaaagghh, it gave me jitters last time. This time if you really feel pissed off, better quit reading...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Lecture of life..

As narrated.

“I joined my first job as JE (Junior Engineer) in Military Engineering Services (MES). I used to walk 3 kms to board the bus for office 30 kms away. It was the toughest phase of my life, yet I continued it for a while without regretting much. To reach Delhi cantonment 6 'o clock in chilled January mornings was an arduous task yet I let pass those silent cries unheard. It gave the toughest nut to crack and I tried my best not to give up ever. After six months, my steely determination doped out like the water running in a fast moving river. I quit my first love, my first job.

I joined PGCIL (Power Grid Corporation of INDIA) as JE again. My boss, trying to be smart with his queries asked me," Where you see yourself after 5 years or so?” Being a fresh graduate, I have the same aspirations as any other person of my age. I quickly rolled out the words," I would like to be a GM (General Manager) in next 5 years”. That amicable boss, he himself was the General Manager at that time. He was not so much convinced with my outspoken skills. I consoled my heart over the not-so-impressive first meet. In a month or so, I had got to know the real persona of GM. He was always late for his work, trying to pass on his work to his juniors. But I was on the other hand, had learnt those tough lessons of discipline at MES, was never late. Neither in reaching office, nor in completing my work. I guess my boss was unaware of my efficient work. He was always trying to put all his work upon me. It might be reading new documents or to gather information about some new project. He never bothered to even give a look to my project reports. I used to wonder who made him the GM of PGCIL.

Once he asked me to plan the next five year schedule for the purchase of Electricity from government. I was gripped with nervousness and panic. I had never presented any seminar even at my school level and now he was expecting me to present the next five year plan to the Indian Central Government. Somehow I gathered the courage, clubbed all the information sources. With the help of my colleagues I made it a day before the actual seminar. GM had to present it before government officials, so I handed it over to him a day before seminar. Next morning, he asked me to come over his home to give him the brief idea about the contents as he could not manage to go through the seminar report. Yes, it was very much expected from him. I went to his house next morning; he was getting ready for the top meeting. He told me to wait so that we could discuss it while going in the car. All through the journey he was busy on his phone with the chief secretary of PM. After reaching the premises of office, he told me to wait in the meeting hall so that he would ask me when introductory lecture would be going on. All I could mutter at these repulsive moments was," Sure sir ".

Here came the delegation team and I could see my GM escorting them to their seats. Went passed the introductory lecture, GM was still busy in his enchanting talks with delegation team. Soon his name was spoken out loud to send shivers down my spine. Haplessly, I glanced over him. He was still bemused in his talks. He pointed his finger first towards me and then towards that big stage. Was he trying to persuade me to give this seminar? Yes, these were his intentions. With my tumbling legs, I went to the stage. Narrated the five year execution plan in a stammering manner, the hall was taken over with thunderous applause. I was overwhelmed to speak my emotions at that instant. I came back to my seat. To my surprise, GM was sitting besides me shaping a generous smile. “I appoint you as the General Manager of Power Grid Corporation of India.”

And the rest remained the most beautiful moments of my life.... "

Lecture of life..

As narrated.

“I joined my first job as JE (Junior Engineer) in Military Engineering Services (MES). I used to walk 3 kms to board the bus for office 30 kms away. It was the toughest phase of my life, yet I continued it for a while without regretting much. To reach Delhi cantonment 6 'o clock in chilled January mornings was an arduous task yet I let pass those silent cries unheard. It gave the toughest nut to crack and I tried my best not to give up ever. After six months, my steely determination doped out like the water running in a fast moving river. I quit my first love, my first job.

I joined PGCIL (Power Grid Corporation of INDIA) as JE again. My boss, trying to be smart with his queries asked me," Where you see yourself after 5 years or so?” Being a fresh graduate, I have the same aspirations as any other person of my age. I quickly rolled out the words," I would like to be a GM (General Manager) in next 5 years”. That amicable boss, he himself was the General Manager at that time. He was not so much convinced with my outspoken skills. I consoled my heart over the not-so-impressive first meet. In a month or so, I had got to know the real persona of GM. He was always late for his work, trying to pass on his work to his juniors. But I was on the other hand, had learnt those tough lessons of discipline at MES, was never late. Neither in reaching office, nor in completing my work. I guess my boss was unaware of my efficient work. He was always trying to put all his work upon me. It might be reading new documents or to gather information about some new project. He never bothered to even give a look to my project reports. I used to wonder who made him the GM of PGCIL.

Once he asked me to plan the next five year schedule for the purchase of Electricity from government. I was gripped with nervousness and panic. I had never presented any seminar even at my school level and now he was expecting me to present the next five year plan to the Indian Central Government. Somehow I gathered the courage, clubbed all the information sources. With the help of my colleagues I made it a day before the actual seminar. GM had to present it before government officials, so I handed it over to him a day before seminar. Next morning, he asked me to come over his home to give him the brief idea about the contents as he could not manage to go through the seminar report. Yes, it was very much expected from him. I went to his house next morning; he was getting ready for the top meeting. He told me to wait so that we could discuss it while going in the car. All through the journey he was busy on his phone with the chief secretary of PM. After reaching the premises of office, he told me to wait in the meeting hall so that he would ask me when introductory lecture would be going on. All I could mutter at these repulsive moments was," Sure sir ".

Here came the delegation team and I could see my GM escorting them to their seats. Went passed the introductory lecture, GM was still busy in his enchanting talks with delegation team. Soon his name was spoken out loud to send shivers down my spine. Haplessly, I glanced over him. He was still bemused in his talks. He pointed his finger first towards me and then towards that big stage. Was he trying to persuade me to give this seminar? Yes, these were his intentions. With my tumbling legs, I went to the stage. Narrated the five year execution plan in a stammering manner, the hall was taken over with thunderous applause. I was overwhelmed to speak my emotions at that instant. I came back to my seat. To my surprise, GM was sitting besides me shaping a generous smile. “I appoint you as the General Manager of Power Grid Corporation of India.”

And the rest remained the most beautiful moments of my life.... "

Sunday, September 14, 2008

TERROR....

There were very few days, almost erased from the slate of mind, about those horrific times Delhi had seen in the past. Looking at those robbed faces felt miserable, yet i had never managed to feel the unease, the terror-stricken minds and those lasting memories that could have never been erased.

This time i myself was the victim of those harrowed times that i had only appreciated on television. I sensed the terror gripping me, every face resembling those of terrorists flashing on every television set. It was indeed feeling very terrible, mind sinking down to the bottomless. Feeling of some impending doom was inevitable. I had to catch the metro from Dwarka sector-11 to Janakpuri east. Came down the halting metro, faces showing inexpressible emotions. Buried under the hands, those were thwarted beyond the faith of god. Something would happen which nobody can apprehend; no one can dare to escape it, everyone looking around in dismay as if they could answer the future. Nobody was there except me. I was all and all were I. No feeling of attachment, no feeling of hatred, just one thing prevailed over the cloud and it was TERROR....

peformance???

It has been exactly three months since I joined this organization. I felt the presence of some good times and have the guts to escape the harrowed moments as well. I entered this endless league of engineers with a mind bearing some expectations and some pre-conceived notions. I would never mind to rate it as top priority to have a company of charming girls, but my destiny is never swayed upon by luck. Secondly, I would have loved to…

Yes, you may get it right. I have no other grievances in my firm except the fraud which placed me here only when I deserve much better. People may say I am outspoken on this fact, but my heart never shunted out such facts. I deserve much more than it, at least I feel so. I have always doped down my best efforts to reap out the sweetest crop out of the field of hard-work.

I had followed a suggestion since my school days. Someone told me, “Whatever you do, just do this much hard-work that you would never regret in near future wish you could have done it better in the past”. So, I put my sincere efforts to bring out the best which I could perform without matching it with world’s standards. Yet one cannot survive without competing. Competing is entirely a different word altogether than comparing. People tend to interpret both in a very likely manner. Comparison always degrades your performance not the competition.

Set your own standards and try to synchronize your performance as per your standards. After performing well, let your standards match with the wholesome world. In fact, it will never stand any lower unless you were adopting methods of someone else. Words of wisdom never proved wrong and no one can dare to do so. They have said not so lately, “I am unique just like everyone else”. It carries little words and a deep meaning. Life is all about performing as per your standards, not as per the others. If one does so, I bet one can never have contentment in life….

TERROR....

There were very few days, almost erased from the slate of mind, about those horrific times Delhi had seen in the past. Looking at those robbed faces felt miserable, yet i had never managed to feel the unease, the terror-stricken minds and those lasting memories that could have never been erased.

This time i myself was the victim of those harrowed times that i had only appreciated on television. I sensed the terror gripping me, every face resembling those of terrorists flashing on every television set. It was indeed feeling very terrible, mind sinking down to the bottomless. Feeling of some impending doom was inevitable. I had to catch the metro from Dwarka sector-11 to Janakpuri east. Came down the halting metro, faces showing inexpressible emotions. Buried under the hands, those were thwarted beyond the faith of god. Something would happen which nobody can apprehend; no one can dare to escape it, everyone looking around in dismay as if they could answer the future. Nobody was there except me. I was all and all were I. No feeling of attachment, no feeling of hatred, just one thing prevailed over the cloud and it was TERROR....

peformance???

It has been exactly three months since I joined this organization. I felt the presence of some good times and have the guts to escape the harrowed moments as well. I entered this endless league of engineers with a mind bearing some expectations and some pre-conceived notions. I would never mind to rate it as top priority to have a company of charming girls, but my destiny is never swayed upon by luck. Secondly, I would have loved to…

Yes, you may get it right. I have no other grievances in my firm except the fraud which placed me here only when I deserve much better. People may say I am outspoken on this fact, but my heart never shunted out such facts. I deserve much more than it, at least I feel so. I have always doped down my best efforts to reap out the sweetest crop out of the field of hard-work.

I had followed a suggestion since my school days. Someone told me, “Whatever you do, just do this much hard-work that you would never regret in near future wish you could have done it better in the past”. So, I put my sincere efforts to bring out the best which I could perform without matching it with world’s standards. Yet one cannot survive without competing. Competing is entirely a different word altogether than comparing. People tend to interpret both in a very likely manner. Comparison always degrades your performance not the competition.

Set your own standards and try to synchronize your performance as per your standards. After performing well, let your standards match with the wholesome world. In fact, it will never stand any lower unless you were adopting methods of someone else. Words of wisdom never proved wrong and no one can dare to do so. They have said not so lately, “I am unique just like everyone else”. It carries little words and a deep meaning. Life is all about performing as per your standards, not as per the others. If one does so, I bet one can never have contentment in life….

Thursday, August 28, 2008

hope...

Someone has very rightly said,
" Iss paar priye madhu hai, tum ho
Uss paar naa jaane kya hoga !! "

Those strangers seem to have blurred away with the fine light of friendship. Those which seem to be self-obsessed souls have now become the part of my survival. Such is the magic in relationships which can instill hope into the hopeless, can drag back the souls on the brink of disaster into a merry land. This life would make you learn the lessons, one could never imagined them to exist. Times of solitude are turning, not so fast, yet beautifully displaying the horizon of new life. Life is beautiful rather it was never terrible before. Looking back to the older darker times, i could see the fine glow of hope at that time too.

People talk of survival of the fittest, those could bear the hard times with the tough nuts. As far as i knew myself, neither i posses those nuts nor the bliss of being fittest. Talking about those unspoken words with myself only, it never felt so nice, yet i let the wind passed away silently. Those long-gone cherished memories, expectations of my loved ones came to my rescue under those harrowed times. Yes, i have passed the test. I have come out holding aloft the torch of hope. It was tough, yet my mind disagrees.

The essence of the toughest part of my life:

Never let the shimmering lights of hope to wipe out from your life,
the dawn would break very soon bringing back those moments,
about which one could only dreamt of ...

hope...

Someone has very rightly said,
" Iss paar priye madhu hai, tum ho
Uss paar naa jaane kya hoga !! "Those strangers seem to have blurred away with the fine light of friendship. Those which seem to be self-obsessed souls have now become the part of my survival. Such is the magic in relationships which can instill hope into the hopeless, can drag back the souls on the brink of disaster into a merry land. This life would make you learn the lessons, one could never imagined them to exist. Times of solitude are turning, not so fast, yet beautifully displaying the horizon of new life. Life is beautiful rather it was never terrible before. Looking back to the older darker times, i could see the fine glow of hope at that time too.People talk of survival of the fittest, those could bear the hard times with the tough nuts. As far as i knew myself, neither i posses those nuts nor the bliss of being fittest. Talking about those unspoken words with myself only, it never felt so nice, yet i let the wind passed away silently. Those long-gone cherished memories, expectations of my loved ones came to my rescue under those harrowed times. Yes, i have passed the test. I have come out holding aloft the torch of hope. It was tough, yet my mind disagrees.

The essence of the toughest part of my life:

Never let the shimmering lights of hope to wipe out from your life,
the dawn would break very soon bringing back those moments,
about which one could only dreamt of ...


Sunday, August 24, 2008

struggle of, so called, life..

People used to say: “There are two ways of living the life. One way is to lead it under the trodden path of the corrupted system, bearing the hard times of apartheid the way they come; and the other way is to make the system work, the way you want it to be.”

Obviously second thought pinched hard on the high headed egos. Yes, one would always prefer to possess an upper hand in system, but how many get the chance to do so? Mostly people prefer to live, rather exist, as it comes to them. Being young, I always wanted to be a system of my own. A system with no loop-holes or rules being shredded all over and I did it to some extent as well. A question keeps popping in my mind.

For whom am I lamenting my life?

People would come up with countless solutions. I am doing it for my country; my country deserves the reverence from its countrymen. An adolescent mind always wants to become the change which it wants to see. He/she has no shackles of responsibilities to bind. No barricades obstructing the noble voyage for the society. But why those spirits run out of fuel in a decade or so? Hunger is the veiled cause behind wiping out the roaring spirits. The fight for one’s own survival takes place instead of those. Money becomes the sole aim in one’s life. Nothing else I want, nothing else could soothe my mind. What else then? It is money, my dear.

Yet one may find the flock far away from this money making business, far away from the guttered lanes of rich crocodiles. Somewhere disrupting the bad deeds, eliminating the scaffoldings of corruption business, obviously one is lamenting his/her life for the real cause; hence justifying his/her existence in this world.

But why am I sharing such things over this post? Am I feeling remorseful for shrugging off my responsibilities? It may be the reason for this outburst. If not so, I may be doing things off the screen for bringing back the pleasure to wounded souls of many, but it never really pleases me much. Do more for a little smile you would like to see on your face in hard times. Not so far, just take out a step or two out of your place, you will find the noble cause lying untidy losing the attention of many not-so-clean souls deliberately. I hope you got one. If not, look again…

struggle of, so called, life..

People used to say: “There are two ways of living the life. One way is to lead it under the trodden path of the corrupted system, bearing the hard times of apartheid the way they come; and the other way is to make the system work, the way you want it to be.”

Obviously second thought pinched hard on the high headed egos. Yes, one would always prefer to possess an upper hand in system, but how many get the chance to do so? Mostly people prefer to live, rather exist, as it comes to them. Being young, I always wanted to be a system of my own. A system with no loop-holes or rules being shredded all over and I did it to some extent as well. A question keeps popping in my mind.

For whom am I lamenting my life?

People would come up with countless solutions. I am doing it for my country; my country deserves the reverence from its countrymen. An adolescent mind always wants to become the change which it wants to see. He/she has no shackles of responsibilities to bind. No barricades obstructing the noble voyage for the society. But why those spirits run out of fuel in a decade or so? Hunger is the veiled cause behind wiping out the roaring spirits. The fight for one’s own survival takes place instead of those. Money becomes the sole aim in one’s life. Nothing else I want, nothing else could soothe my mind. What else then? It is money, my dear.

Yet one may find the flock far away from this money making business, far away from the guttered lanes of rich crocodiles. Somewhere disrupting the bad deeds, eliminating the scaffoldings of corruption business, obviously one is lamenting his/her life for the real cause; hence justifying his/her existence in this world.

But why am I sharing such things over this post? Am I feeling remorseful for shrugging off my responsibilities? It may be the reason for this outburst. If not so, I may be doing things off the screen for bringing back the pleasure to wounded souls of many, but it never really pleases me much. Do more for a little smile you would like to see on your face in hard times. Not so far, just take out a step or two out of your place, you will find the noble cause lying untidy losing the attention of many not-so-clean souls deliberately. I hope you got one. If not, look again…

Thursday, August 21, 2008

It was a very straight road. The drive was very smooth flaunting with the emotions of my heart. Those lights were shining brightly spattering over the front glass. There were no barricades. No one was concerned about the trespassers. Green trees were enjoying the ride with the soft gushes of air. The road was straight, very straight.

Exactly it locates my destination. One day will make it to that point....
It was a very straight road. The drive was very smooth flaunting with the emotions of my heart. Those lights were shining brightly spattering over the front glass. There were no barricades. No one was concerned about the trespassers. Green trees were enjoying the ride with the soft gushes of air. The road was straight, very straight.

Exactly it locates my destination. One day will make it to that point....

Monday, August 18, 2008

Survived without money..

Where was luck involved? And why that post never ended actually even though i wrapped it up in chaotic manner.

That lad was not some invincible, just a simple soul rendering over this earth. He seems to be running with no aim whatsoever, yet had possessed some sharp binding force which could make anyone retrace the path. Anxiously mulled,"Five for both". Money was the binding factor. It was getting dark with every passing moment and he was packing the things as if fear was intensifying with settling dusk. My reply was straight-forward, hence blunt too,"I shall pay you four times but not cash". It was not just another question, asked to choose one; survival or money. He seemed not much convinced or concerned about the future. Nevertheless his eyes were resembling the rarest pearl crystals which had never learnt to look down upon. He went with survival and money lost it. Lost it dramatically with never a hope of emerging as winner.

Do not ask me the reasons for it. I really want to pen down the thoughts bursting inside my heart that impending night. It was special in many ways. Sheer thought of that lad could fade the gloomy times. One more matchless soul was sacrificed to the dark and i could not lift a single finger to help him...

Survived without money..

Where was luck involved? And why that post never ended actually even though i wrapped it up in chaotic manner.

That lad was not some invincible, just a simple soul rendering over this earth. He seems to be running with no aim whatsoever, yet had possessed some sharp binding force which could make anyone retrace the path. Anxiously mulled,"Five for both". Money was the binding factor. It was getting dark with every passing moment and he was packing the things as if fear was intensifying with settling dusk. My reply was straight-forward, hence blunt too,"I shall pay you four times but not cash". It was not just another question, asked to choose one; survival or money. He seemed not much convinced or concerned about the future. Nevertheless his eyes were resembling the rarest pearl crystals which had never learnt to look down upon. He went with survival and money lost it. Lost it dramatically with never a hope of emerging as winner.

Do not ask me the reasons for it. I really want to pen down the thoughts bursting inside my heart that impending night. It was special in many ways. Sheer thought of that lad could fade the gloomy times. One more matchless soul was sacrificed to the dark and i could not lift a single finger to help him...

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Today i want to post some thing which could soothe my mellow heart. Already being at home for last 48 hours, feels great under the lap of sun where i spent handsome amount building up my character.

Struggle, it is the essence of everything It may be building up a carrier or a persona. Unless one doesn't feel the heat one can't get the real worth of anything. Teachers and leaders would go on piling up the innovative enthusiastic speeches over the various topics, they do nothing, at least on my part. One could nod spontaneously but final predicament always comes from the heart and hearts are not so easy to be swayed upon by few words of wisdom. One needs hard lessons to get the concepts swallow through the neck. Life is a hard teacher, it should be hard.

Luck. It matters most when one feels hapless. One day looking out for some world map on a roadside shop, my eyes stole a glance over a guy who seemed to be born intelligent. How it would be possible? One wearing spectacles or carrying a laptop never makes you feel geeky, it is your persona which posses the unique odour. That guy was already staring at me as if concealing some thoughts. I approached," How much?". Expecting the same from me, rapidly fired one at me," Five for both". Again a twist," what if i pay you twenty instead of five but not in cash". Here came the reply which i never expected from any soul with such grit and genuineness. I agreed the same moment. Both went their way smiling.

Where was luck involved in the latter. Why i changed the topic from struggle to luck? That one incident at Karol bagh gave me fair idea of dealings taking place in this world. These two words are the crux for every happening or mis-happening.

Those two persons, walking in opposite directions (smiling), were possessing these two acuities. One smiling for his luck at the moment, yet other was carrying it in true meanings. Other was smiling for his sheer luck ignoring the dire consequences of the struggle....

happy independence day..

One more time to relive the historical moment of independence of India.
15th august, 1947 a day soothed the bruises of many sacrificed and laid down souls. Those sacrifices could never fade away yet nobody bothers to remind oneself his/her responsibilities. I admit the same with shameless eyes. Nothing much to say as i shudder my responsibilities too. Yet one day will do the justice with my duties.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY.....


Today i want to post some thing which could soothe my mellow heart. Already being at home for last 48 hours, feels great under the lap of sun where i spent handsome amount building up my character.

Struggle, it is the essence of everything It may be building up a carrier or a persona. Unless one doesn't feel the heat one can't get the real worth of anything. Teachers and leaders would go on piling up the innovative enthusiastic speeches over the various topics, they do nothing, at least on my part. One could nod spontaneously but final predicament always comes from the heart and hearts are not so easy to be swayed upon by few words of wisdom. One needs hard lessons to get the concepts swallow through the neck. Life is a hard teacher, it should be hard.

Luck. It matters most when one feels hapless. One day looking out for some world map on a roadside shop, my eyes stole a glance over a guy who seemed to be born intelligent. How it would be possible? One wearing spectacles or carrying a laptop never makes you feel geeky, it is your persona which posses the unique odour. That guy was already staring at me as if concealing some thoughts. I approached," How much?". Expecting the same from me, rapidly fired one at me," Five for both". Again a twist," what if i pay you twenty instead of five but not in cash". Here came the reply which i never expected from any soul with such grit and genuineness. I agreed the same moment. Both went their way smiling.

Where was luck involved in the latter. Why i changed the topic from struggle to luck? That one incident at Karol bagh gave me fair idea of dealings taking place in this world. These two words are the crux for every happening or mis-happening.

Those two persons, walking in opposite directions (smiling), were possessing these two acuities. One smiling for his luck at the moment, yet other was carrying it in true meanings. Other was smiling for his sheer luck ignoring the dire consequences of the struggle....

happy independence day..

One more time to relive the historical moment of independence of India.
15th august, 1947 a day soothed the bruises of many sacrificed and laid down souls. Those sacrifices could never fade away yet nobody bothers to remind oneself his/her responsibilities. I admit the same with shameless eyes. Nothing much to say as i shudder my responsibilities too. Yet one day will do the justice with my duties.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY.....


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

a memory beholded !!

Bronze medal...Leander Paes....................1996 Atlanta Olympics
Bronze medal...Karnam Malleshwari.......2000 Sydney Olympics
Silver medal.....Rajyawardhan Rathore...2004 Athens Olmpics

Gold medal..Abhinav Bindra........2008 Beijing Olympics

Everyday picking up newspaper to see my country's name in that list of top sports person, yet content with lower grades for last 12 years. This time it has made every Indian proud. Surely no more moments of remorse, no more lowering of eyes upon hearing Olympics and above all, a day which shall be imprinted in golden words in a pile of dark pages.

You made my day, for which i waited for last two decades with wishful eyes and finally that wait is over. This moment would enlighten the lives of many for the years to come..

a memory beholded !!

Bronze medal...Leander Paes....................1996 Atlanta Olympics
Bronze medal...Karnam Malleshwari.......2000 Sydney Olympics
Silver medal.....Rajyawardhan Rathore...2004 Athens Olmpics

Gold medal..Abhinav Bindra........2008 Beijing Olympics

Everyday picking up newspaper to see my country's name in that list of top sports person, yet content with lower grades for last 12 years. This time it has made every Indian proud. Surely no more moments of remorse, no more lowering of eyes upon hearing Olympics and above all, a day which shall be imprinted in golden words in a pile of dark pages.

You made my day, for which i waited for last two decades with wishful eyes and finally that wait is over. This moment would enlighten the lives of many for the years to come..

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Thank the heavens.
It is once again clinging so dearly to the chirping benches, singing the merry song in unison with the world which was once haunted by the dark shadows; had it stayed for some longer time the results could be horrendous. Yet time heals the deepest of scars bruised over the mentals, perpetually doing its wonderful work for the endless decades. Just two beautiful lines could some up this blossom for me:

"ISS PAAR PRIYE MADHU HAI TUM HO,

USS PAAR NAA JAANE KYA HOGA"

-Harivansh Rai Bachchan

It is indeed the most beautiful lines my eyes have ever glanced at...
Thank the heavens.
It is once again clinging so dearly to the chirping benches, singing the merry song in unison with the world which was once haunted by the dark shadows; had it stayed for some longer time the results could be horrendous. Yet time heals the deepest of scars bruised over the mentals, perpetually doing its wonderful work for the endless decades. Just two beautiful lines could some up this blossom for me:

"ISS PAAR PRIYE MADHU HAI TUM HO,

USS PAAR NAA JAANE KYA HOGA"

-Harivansh Rai Bachchan

It is indeed the most beautiful lines my eyes have ever glanced at...

Friday, August 8, 2008

take me to the shore...

Last week went bizarre. I had pre-conceived plans to implement, some inborn notions to execute yet it all ended leaving me dumbfounded and heart-broken. I was feeling hapless, thoughts to quit were bulging in my mind yet i gave it another try. Circumstances had changed with spell-bound magic as if they were alerting me of disaster burgeoning on its way. Hell broke out on monday (4th august) with the settle of dusk when i left office. Next three days are beyond my imagination to spell once again. I cannot recall those moments of extreme insanities my mind underwent. I felt acuities surging out of my heart to write about those moments too but simply irresistible were those scary times.

I would love to recall the best i reaped out of those times.
a) Sunday which i spent with my college friends at connaught place and many other places.
b) Tuesday when my confirmation at dwarka designing centre came.
c) Wednesday night spent at ccd with bhuvnesh for the last time at malviya nagar.
d) Thursday, two hour journey from dwarka to malviya nagar in bus 764 (Do not ask me why??. My answer would be," rain !!")

Again coming back to senses and connecting the broken chords of melody with my life. Those joyous days are never gone forever, always etched in my heart clinging to my memory. Neither the present is hollow nor the past was stupendous, the prima behind this sudden collapse are the changing times. No one can get hold on future or could get rid of past; nor one can overt the future or could remain stuck to the past, only the silent acceptence with the change is worth a praise.

Keep flowing with the bay. One day they will take you to the shore...

take me to the shore...

Last week went bizarre. I had pre-conceived plans to implement, some inborn notions to execute yet it all ended leaving me dumbfounded and heart-broken. I was feeling hapless, thoughts to quit were bulging in my mind yet i gave it another try. Circumstances had changed with spell-bound magic as if they were alerting me of disaster burgeoning on its way. Hell broke out on monday (4th august) with the settle of dusk when i left office. Next three days are beyond my imagination to spell once again. I cannot recall those moments of extreme insanities my mind underwent. I felt acuities surging out of my heart to write about those moments too but simply irresistible were those scary times.

I would love to recall the best i reaped out of those times.
a) Sunday which i spent with my college friends at connaught place and many other places.
b) Tuesday when my confirmation at dwarka designing centre came.
c) Wednesday night spent at ccd with bhuvnesh for the last time at malviya nagar.
d) Thursday, two hour journey from dwarka to malviya nagar in bus 764 (Do not ask me why??. My answer would be," rain !!")

Again coming back to senses and connecting the broken chords of melody with my life. Those joyous days are never gone forever, always etched in my heart clinging to my memory. Neither the present is hollow nor the past was stupendous, the prima behind this sudden collapse are the changing times. No one can get hold on future or could get rid of past; nor one can overt the future or could remain stuck to the past, only the silent acceptence with the change is worth a praise.

Keep flowing with the bay. One day they will take you to the shore...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Finally shining..

Very peculiar thing about this life is that it shapes up as per destiny, yet everybody tries its best to mould it as his/her longings. I pushed every limit beyond the escapable reach, finally caressing the scars over my heart sitting alone in my room. Few droplets of rain are still reeling over glass pane after yesterday’s downpour or it may be the fresh moisture sticking to glass. I am least concerned for its origin; essence is the presence of happiness in watching those drops sliding down the pane. Glancing outside at the noise-free metro running at its laid down path is a pleasant scene. Even the slight shriek noise of metro halt could pierce through the silence persisting in the room. Light diverging through the every corner in room carries the warmth wrapped under the shivering weather.

All in all, life is glittering at its very best…

Finally shining..

Very peculiar thing about this life is that it shapes up as per destiny, yet everybody tries its best to mould it as his/her longings. I pushed every limit beyond the escapable reach, finally caressing the scars over my heart sitting alone in my room. Few droplets of rain are still reeling over glass pane after yesterday’s downpour or it may be the fresh moisture sticking to glass. I am least concerned for its origin; essence is the presence of happiness in watching those drops sliding down the pane. Glancing outside at the noise-free metro running at its laid down path is a pleasant scene. Even the slight shriek noise of metro halt could pierce through the silence persisting in the room. Light diverging through the every corner in room carries the warmth wrapped under the shivering weather.

All in all, life is glittering at its very best…

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Life is a total mess. Sometimes it seems preferable to quit and lay down in my room closing my eyes for the whole day. But this corporate world is like a D gang. Once you entered there is no exit..

Site: Dwarka

Life contains all the ingredients to make it interesting. Designing of power transformers and overhauling of single phase transformers, it needs nothing else to continue forever. But i wish i could carry on with the same thinking. Job is not all about work, probably it is everything but work. Anybody can do the work, but survival in organization is real task for which one is paid.

Today i don't have much time to share the grey shades, getting even darker in this sprint of time. Give me time. I shall share the every thought that criss-crossed my mind in this forgetful week. Just three more days, a big post would be waiting anxiously to consume your precious time. Till then, spill it doing orkutting.That is my second best past time thing..

Take care...
Life is a total mess. Sometimes it seems preferable to quit and lay down in my room closing my eyes for the whole day. But this corporate world is like a D gang. Once you entered there is no exit..

Site: Dwarka

Life contains all the ingredients to make it interesting. Designing of power transformers and overhauling of single phase transformers, it needs nothing else to continue forever. But i wish i could carry on with the same thinking. Job is not all about work, probably it is everything but work. Anybody can do the work, but survival in organization is real task for which one is paid.

Today i don't have much time to share the grey shades, getting even darker in this sprint of time. Give me time. I shall share the every thought that criss-crossed my mind in this forgetful week. Just three more days, a big post would be waiting anxiously to consume your precious time. Till then, spill it doing orkutting.That is my second best past time thing..

Take care...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

race of life..

Limelight never shirks the ultimate conquerors. What about the losers? Far away from the mirthful crowd, they are lost in gloomy times. Every soul try their best to sustain in ruthless competition, but luck seldom favours the fate.

People die living hoping against hope but nothing bears fruit. Slammed against the hard times, crawling slowly on the pavement meant for success. Others ran over you thwarting your dreams, crushing the hopes for the novices. Every act is smirked with a contagious smile. If the podium is made for the winner, why the runner ups are gently pierced with scuffed views. In a batch of 40 only one person can top, because top spot is iced for single person. That top notch position is declared by the judges on the basis of some parameters. Why that person is given the undivided attention despite being superior in one aspect? What hurts even more are the bitter views for the runner up. If he/she excels in some other aspect, why not pull down some words of praise rather than refuting him/her for the lost race.

I quit. I quit this beleaguered catwalk. I do not compete with anyone. I have my own laid down principles to live with, hard-earned mental toughness to sustain and a very dear flock of friends. Good luck for your race of life. I am happy not being a part of it, never being a part of it...

one more legend..

Please read it:

He did things very differently. While others trained in running shoes, Emil Zatopek trained in army boots to make his feet lighter on race days.

His training sessions were equally unorthodox, the Czech would often run 15 miles a day, constantly experimenting and pushing himself with a punishing schedule.

“There is a great advantage in training under unfavourable conditions,” he once said. “It’s better to train under bad conditions, for the difference is then a tremendous relief in a race.”

He made history by becoming the first and only athlete to make a clean sweep of the 5,000m, 10,000m and the marathon golds, all within the space of eight days. And he was running his first-ever marathon!

There was a bit of drama too during the long run. Being a novice, Zatopek introduced himself to the world record holder, Britain’s Jim Peters, on the start line.

He followed Peters for 10 miles before asking, “Jim, the pace — is it too fast?” Peters jokingly replied, “Emil, the pace — it is too slow.”

Zatopek then replied in the best possible way by racing past the world record holder to win the event. It was also his third Olympic record in Helsinki.

“I was unable to walk for a whole week after that, so much did the race take out of me. But, it was the most pleasant exhaustion I have ever known,” said the 30-year-old.

His running style, with his head and eyes rolling, tongue hanging out and appearing to be in severe pain, was not exactly a joy to behold.

“Emil the Terrible,” they called him. “It is not gymnastics or ice skating, you know,” Zatopek said in defence years later.

His competitors could only watch in awe at his feats. Apart from his four Olympic golds (the 10,000m in 1948 being the other), Zatopek won 38 consecutive 10,000m races during a six-year period and broke 18 world records in all.

No wonder, they called him the ‘Human Locomotive’...


race of life..

Limelight never shirks the ultimate conquerors. What about the losers? Far away from the mirthful crowd, they are lost in gloomy times. Every soul try their best to sustain in ruthless competition, but luck seldom favours the fate.

People die living hoping against hope but nothing bears fruit. Slammed against the hard times, crawling slowly on the pavement meant for success. Others ran over you thwarting your dreams, crushing the hopes for the novices. Every act is smirked with a contagious smile. If the podium is made for the winner, why the runner ups are gently pierced with scuffed views. In a batch of 40 only one person can top, because top spot is iced for single person. That top notch position is declared by the judges on the basis of some parameters. Why that person is given the undivided attention despite being superior in one aspect? What hurts even more are the bitter views for the runner up. If he/she excels in some other aspect, why not pull down some words of praise rather than refuting him/her for the lost race.

I quit. I quit this beleaguered catwalk. I do not compete with anyone. I have my own laid down principles to live with, hard-earned mental toughness to sustain and a very dear flock of friends. Good luck for your race of life. I am happy not being a part of it, never being a part of it...

one more legend..

Please read it:

He did things very differently. While others trained in running shoes, Emil Zatopek trained in army boots to make his feet lighter on race days.

His training sessions were equally unorthodox, the Czech would often run 15 miles a day, constantly experimenting and pushing himself with a punishing schedule.

“There is a great advantage in training under unfavourable conditions,” he once said. “It’s better to train under bad conditions, for the difference is then a tremendous relief in a race.”

He made history by becoming the first and only athlete to make a clean sweep of the 5,000m, 10,000m and the marathon golds, all within the space of eight days. And he was running his first-ever marathon!

There was a bit of drama too during the long run. Being a novice, Zatopek introduced himself to the world record holder, Britain’s Jim Peters, on the start line.

He followed Peters for 10 miles before asking, “Jim, the pace — is it too fast?” Peters jokingly replied, “Emil, the pace — it is too slow.”

Zatopek then replied in the best possible way by racing past the world record holder to win the event. It was also his third Olympic record in Helsinki.

“I was unable to walk for a whole week after that, so much did the race take out of me. But, it was the most pleasant exhaustion I have ever known,” said the 30-year-old.

His running style, with his head and eyes rolling, tongue hanging out and appearing to be in severe pain, was not exactly a joy to behold.

“Emil the Terrible,” they called him. “It is not gymnastics or ice skating, you know,” Zatopek said in defence years later.

His competitors could only watch in awe at his feats. Apart from his four Olympic golds (the 10,000m in 1948 being the other), Zatopek won 38 consecutive 10,000m races during a six-year period and broke 18 world records in all.

No wonder, they called him the ‘Human Locomotive’...


Friday, July 25, 2008

100th post..

It feels great punching these miraculous buttons for the 100th time on this blog. Feelings of admiration came pouring in for myself for being consistent in doing so. I pursued it more out of inspiration rather than passion (many knows why), but latter excels in this long saga. Usage of words kept changing. I shall admit i was never unnerved to the criticism or even the words of praise never went off silently. Every comment played through my heart, hence forthcoming with impeccable changes in my writing.

As a matter of fact, this passion is still burning alive inside me with the same zeal as it was a year ago. Some sense of attachment has made it even tougher to quit. I started with just one thought," i should write by my heart". It is quite a tough job to be unnerved by the mockery. I wrote for myself, for others too. Sometimes out of compulsion or for the sake of mere good impression. I guess it worked every time showing positive outcomes. If it ever failed, luckily the channel was blocked before getting delivered to the originator. Concluding it on a short note, it is a wonderful experience to pepper the words with your feelings.

I hope i shall carry on with same will unless this screen would get blurred from my eyes...

100th post..

It feels great punching these miraculous buttons for the 100th time on this blog. Feelings of admiration came pouring in for myself for being consistent in doing so. I pursued it more out of inspiration rather than passion (many knows why), but latter excels in this long saga. Usage of words kept changing. I shall admit i was never unnerved to the criticism or even the words of praise never went off silently. Every comment played through my heart, hence forthcoming with impeccable changes in my writing.

As a matter of fact, this passion is still burning alive inside me with the same zeal as it was a year ago. Some sense of attachment has made it even tougher to quit. I started with just one thought," i should write by my heart". It is quite a tough job to be unnerved by the mockery. I wrote for myself, for others too. Sometimes out of compulsion or for the sake of mere good impression. I guess it worked every time showing positive outcomes. If it ever failed, luckily the channel was blocked before getting delivered to the originator. Concluding it on a short note, it is a wonderful experience to pepper the words with your feelings.

I hope i shall carry on with same will unless this screen would get blurred from my eyes...
Finally completed the seminar stuff well in time and senses are feeling relieved after rigorous sessions of mental and physical exhaustion. Yet such experiences laid down the bitter truth before us, nothing is achieved without striving lest it carries some worth. I did and got paid for it. Transactions are quick in this real world business unlike those monetary ventures. Quick and reliable as well. Amount you invest is never lost with fury of unexpected notions. As being the best postulate of this business, both parties are benefited in this benevolent act.

Feeling as if today i wanted to share many things over this post. Such feelings seldom sprouts in my heart, yet i am curbing it with unease. I shall discuss very soon. Not so timely in my promise, but very very soon.
Finally completed the seminar stuff well in time and senses are feeling relieved after rigorous sessions of mental and physical exhaustion. Yet such experiences laid down the bitter truth before us, nothing is achieved without striving lest it carries some worth. I did and got paid for it. Transactions are quick in this real world business unlike those monetary ventures. Quick and reliable as well. Amount you invest is never lost with fury of unexpected notions. As being the best postulate of this business, both parties are benefited in this benevolent act.

Feeling as if today i wanted to share many things over this post. Such feelings seldom sprouts in my heart, yet i am curbing it with unease. I shall discuss very soon. Not so timely in my promise, but very very soon.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

time is running..

I am back to my home. Amritsar, city reminds of the moments i lived here, always want to relive those again. Get on the next post.

My clock..My cousin came back from her hostel just when i was preparing to get into one. Among her things, i found this squared ticking masterpiece. Quickly i put it in my closet, where i was piling up the things required for my hostel. Being in school even the thought of an engineering college could wreck havoc in minds. I brought that clock, as a legacy, and placed it upon my table. It gave the magnificent looks during first year. Time never grant clemency for older stuff. With the wrath of fate, it lost it sheen. Glasses plunged into shattered pieces in third year, minute hand lost in a fortnight after that. Buzzing alarms and continuous pat over it, could never be forgotten. Humming the most annoyed alarms every time, yet i never shrug it off my life. That clock was a rectangular shaped, carrying black plastic along its periphery. When its glass broke out, i engraved over the inner background " time is running ". I still regret that act, as clock never ticked afterwards. When i came to Delhi, i packed it making vague plans of using it once again. Neither i got time to rectify nor did i actually require it anymore. Being an ardent follower, i shall try to instill life in it once more. Last six months went past packed in my black bag and in near time nothing, but the history seems possible.

I hope the day will come, seen as an emergence of livid clock once again, and till then
" time is running "...

time is running..

I am back to my home. Amritsar, city reminds of the moments i lived here, always want to relive those again. Get on the next post.

My clock..My cousin came back from her hostel just when i was preparing to get into one. Among her things, i found this squared ticking masterpiece. Quickly i put it in my closet, where i was piling up the things required for my hostel. Being in school even the thought of an engineering college could wreck havoc in minds. I brought that clock, as a legacy, and placed it upon my table. It gave the magnificent looks during first year. Time never grant clemency for older stuff. With the wrath of fate, it lost it sheen. Glasses plunged into shattered pieces in third year, minute hand lost in a fortnight after that. Buzzing alarms and continuous pat over it, could never be forgotten. Humming the most annoyed alarms every time, yet i never shrug it off my life. That clock was a rectangular shaped, carrying black plastic along its periphery. When its glass broke out, i engraved over the inner background " time is running ". I still regret that act, as clock never ticked afterwards. When i came to Delhi, i packed it making vague plans of using it once again. Neither i got time to rectify nor did i actually require it anymore. Being an ardent follower, i shall try to instill life in it once more. Last six months went past packed in my black bag and in near time nothing, but the history seems possible.

I hope the day will come, seen as an emergence of livid clock once again, and till then
" time is running "...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Time takes out the necessary changes all by itself. One need not to ponder over it just sail with the waves. This is exactly what i am doing since last week or may be just apprehending to do so. Just a matter of four more days, ship of my life will find a coast to rest upon for some time.

Last time i wrote the post, clouds of uncertainty were vividly hovering over it. Acting so weirdly out of the exploration of a new series of topics. My clock would be the topic of my next post. It was a very beautiful clock, with the brunt of time, lost its sheen but not the follower. Shattered pieces of glass and some plastic curtained over the perimeter are left with me. Get rid of seminar this weekend at Patiala and i shall pursue it more tenaciously. Good luck...
Time takes out the necessary changes all by itself. One need not to ponder over it just sail with the waves. This is exactly what i am doing since last week or may be just apprehending to do so. Just a matter of four more days, ship of my life will find a coast to rest upon for some time.

Last time i wrote the post, clouds of uncertainty were vividly hovering over it. Acting so weirdly out of the exploration of a new series of topics. My clock would be the topic of my next post. It was a very beautiful clock, with the brunt of time, lost its sheen but not the follower. Shattered pieces of glass and some plastic curtained over the perimeter are left with me. Get rid of seminar this weekend at Patiala and i shall pursue it more tenaciously. Good luck...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

my carry bag..

A guy is running with his bag hanging down shoulders. It is a blue bag, with some scratches of white and sky blue colours. Stretched unevenly in vertical dimensions, it carries no zipper to lock from the top. A mere thread is there to tighten the top loophole. There are two pockets sealed on both sides of it and one is placed in front of it. Calculator is packed inside the front pocket along with a sharpener and a black HB pencil. Right pocket inculcate a mysterious stone, it is a crystal. This crystal sparkles in orange colour when beamed with sunlight, otherwise it sustains a dark brown colour. It is accompanied with an electric plug which was bought to fit into the bare wires of table lamp, but that plan was never executed. Hence it is still lying with astonished stone. Other pocket contains the ear phones of nokia 3110. Upon peeping into the ultimate shell, a pile of papers almost teared from the sides because of continuous wear and tear with other stuff. Two more copies, one was brought in january yet it never come to an end. One more wallet carrying those green papers upon which eyes are always staring with sneer emotions. Two pens are rolling inside it, one doesn't even carry a cap over its top. It left the copies and other documents with blue imprints, reminding about happy stay of both inside bag. Just like everyone is worried about the zips, all the threads are plucked out timely to diminish the rampage which these threads can brought out.

This is all about my carry bag, which had accompanied me everywhere it goes. It never left me desolated in this mean world. I am really blessed to have such a bag with me. May it live long happily and god please never part our ways in future..

my carry bag..

A guy is running with his bag hanging down shoulders. It is a blue bag, with some scratches of white and sky blue colours. Stretched unevenly in vertical dimensions, it carries no zipper to lock from the top. A mere thread is there to tighten the top loophole. There are two pockets sealed on both sides of it and one is placed in front of it. Calculator is packed inside the front pocket along with a sharpener and a black HB pencil. Right pocket inculcate a mysterious stone, it is a crystal. This crystal sparkles in orange colour when beamed with sunlight, otherwise it sustains a dark brown colour. It is accompanied with an electric plug which was bought to fit into the bare wires of table lamp, but that plan was never executed. Hence it is still lying with astonished stone. Other pocket contains the ear phones of nokia 3110. Upon peeping into the ultimate shell, a pile of papers almost teared from the sides because of continuous wear and tear with other stuff. Two more copies, one was brought in january yet it never come to an end. One more wallet carrying those green papers upon which eyes are always staring with sneer emotions. Two pens are rolling inside it, one doesn't even carry a cap over its top. It left the copies and other documents with blue imprints, reminding about happy stay of both inside bag. Just like everyone is worried about the zips, all the threads are plucked out timely to diminish the rampage which these threads can brought out.

This is all about my carry bag, which had accompanied me everywhere it goes. It never left me desolated in this mean world. I am really blessed to have such a bag with me. May it live long happily and god please never part our ways in future..

Friday, July 18, 2008

it is called..

One more day entered my life and left without any fuss. Nights are still bustling around some corner, but days went pathetic. Words are limiting my inexpressibility to explain you the chemistry, my mind is observing these days. Every bit existing seems to be farce and fake. Working for long hours, making seminars, out for dinners, spilling wee hours for reading senseless novels of insane authors every individual act of mine is echoing back hurting me. I thought spending some time over orkut or blogging may rejuvenate my spirits. Yesterday i spent handsomely over reading every unknown blog and did my favourite past-time "orkut ting". During my graduation days, i had lavishly spent my time over internet surfing. I do the things in profound manner, never concerned about resources shrinking in it. Unless you do the things in extreme, one never tend to enjoy it. If you do not relish your acts, probably your survival seems to be getting blurred in this world. But why am i indulging in such serious talks?

I want to admit one thing, i always dream of writing some hilarious posts over my blog, something which could make others giggle for a while, one could feel aroma of happyness diverging from innerself. Everytime i signed in with steely determination to penn down the jovial moments, but all thoughts deter as if i had never smiled in my life for last so long. A feeling of jealousness arouse in me reading blogs of saurav or geet. People do write about merry rides. A phobia for happyness is creeping in my mind. But when it comes to shortcomings, my efforts never fall short in ridiculing such thoughts. So better pull up your socks and i guess all such gloomy thouhghts hovering over my blog would vanish into matterless none, with a fine smile on your face. Atleast i shall try.

This part of my life is called "pursuit of happyness".

Thursday, July 17, 2008

it is called..

One more day entered my life and left without any fuss. Nights are still bustling around some corner, but days went pathetic. Words are limiting my inexpressibility to explain you the chemistry, my mind is observing these days. Every bit existing seems to be farce and fake. Working for long hours, making seminars, out for dinners, spilling wee hours for reading senseless novels of insane authors every individual act of mine is echoing back hurting me. I thought spending some time over orkut or blogging may rejuvenate my spirits. Yesterday i spent handsomely over reading every unknown blog and did my favourite past-time "orkut ting". During my graduation days, i had lavishly spent my time over internet surfing. I do the things in profound manner, never concerned about resources shrinking in it. Unless you do the things in extreme, one never tend to enjoy it. If you do not relish your acts, probably your survival seems to be getting blurred in this world. But why am i indulging in such serious talks?

I want to admit one thing, i always dream of writing some hilarious posts over my blog, something which could make others giggle for a while, one could feel aroma of happyness diverging from innerself. Everytime i signed in with steely determination to penn down the jovial moments, but all thoughts deter as if i had never smiled in my life for last so long. A feeling of jealousness arouse in me reading blogs of saurav or geet. People do write about merry rides. A phobia for happyness is creeping in my mind. But when it comes to shortcomings, my efforts never fall short in ridiculing such thoughts. So better pull up your socks and i guess all such gloomy thouhghts hovering over my blog would vanish into matterless none, with a fine smile on your face. Atleast i shall try.

This part of my life is called "pursuit of happyness".

time table..

I got free from my work before the lunch time. So i quit, ran back as fast as i could to relish some leisure. Every hour spent in writing those calculations from the meter testing hurled so fast, so fast even i couldn't' notice the intensity of sun reducing with every passing moment. After hours passed by, when i could feel the eyes running out of step with efforts, i gave up with a promise to return next day brimming with more courage to extend it further. Never sure whether its end would ever be a pleasure for me, i carry on. Two girls went past me hastily carrying a sheet of their time-table. One commented," see, tomorrow i have my class at 11am." Not in any mood to intervene in their conversation, i gave a not-so-interesting glance over her time-table.

Need not to went back into historic ages, four years back i was quite a same maniac staring over my time-table on the every first day of semester. All eyes focusing upon the schedule of friday and monday. Friday were the days everyone carrying bags to their homes and hustling back with same spirit on monday. Getting free on friday before lunch was considered to be the luckiest and delayed mondays were also welcomed with same regard. Those girls were carrying some pamphlet of college too, i was never so lucky to get any introduction lecture about the courses assigned or about the locations of various blocks. Handed with the five day schedule from 8am to 5pm, irrespective of seasons, we had to knock at our classrooms directly. We had not even the minutest ideas of location in that helluva college, asking every senior," Excuse me, may i know where is E block?". List of queries were endless; where is F-block, where is electrical dept, workshop, c hall, k lawns, power system lab, computer lab, reading room, nescafe, sagar ratna and many more. Asking seniors was never considered a better option, it was preferable to be lost in that ruthless crowd. Shamelessly entering the classes with the same lame excuse everytime of being lost in B block, but it was confined for freshers only. Writing down the time-tables on the last pages of copies, losing them in consecutive days and text messaging to friends asking for class room. Those short and sweet chuckles over the electrical machines with jumper and verma were the real times of pleasure. Short and needful rounds of sagar ratna during lab hours, glancing over sheer beauties were handsomely the best days. Spending hours pressing those hard-cushioned chairs in sagar ratna with magan till night could never be recalled. Those were flawlessly the most disgusting moments at those times, but the most memorable ones at present.

Getting back to those girls, they just went ahead continuing thier talks which were once the inseparable part of my life too. I realized my day dreaming has come to a bitter end. Back to your work....

time table..

I got free from my work before the lunch time. So i quit, ran back as fast as i could to relish some leisure. Every hour spent in writing those calculations from the meter testing hurled so fast, so fast even i couldn't' notice the intensity of sun reducing with every passing moment. After hours passed by, when i could feel the eyes running out of step with efforts, i gave up with a promise to return next day brimming with more courage to extend it further. Never sure whether its end would ever be a pleasure for me, i carry on. Two girls went past me hastily carrying a sheet of their time-table. One commented," see, tomorrow i have my class at 11am." Not in any mood to intervene in their conversation, i gave a not-so-interesting glance over her time-table.

Need not to went back into historic ages, four years back i was quite a same maniac staring over my time-table on the every first day of semester. All eyes focusing upon the schedule of friday and monday. Friday were the days everyone carrying bags to their homes and hustling back with same spirit on monday. Getting free on friday before lunch was considered to be the luckiest and delayed mondays were also welcomed with same regard. Those girls were carrying some pamphlet of college too, i was never so lucky to get any introduction lecture about the courses assigned or about the locations of various blocks. Handed with the five day schedule from 8am to 5pm, irrespective of seasons, we had to knock at our classrooms directly. We had not even the minutest ideas of location in that helluva college, asking every senior," Excuse me, may i know where is E block?". List of queries were endless; where is F-block, where is electrical dept, workshop, c hall, k lawns, power system lab, computer lab, reading room, nescafe, sagar ratna and many more. Asking seniors was never considered a better option, it was preferable to be lost in that ruthless crowd. Shamelessly entering the classes with the same lame excuse everytime of being lost in B block, but it was confined for freshers only. Writing down the time-tables on the last pages of copies, losing them in consecutive days and text messaging to friends asking for class room. Those short and sweet chuckles over the electrical machines with jumper and verma were the real times of pleasure. Short and needful rounds of sagar ratna during lab hours, glancing over sheer beauties were handsomely the best days. Spending hours pressing those hard-cushioned chairs in sagar ratna with magan till night could never be recalled. Those were flawlessly the most disgusting moments at those times, but the most memorable ones at present.

Getting back to those girls, they just went ahead continuing thier talks which were once the inseparable part of my life too. I realized my day dreaming has come to a bitter end. Back to your work....