Ride part-II

The ride discussed is part 1 is all about the painstaking mornings when i need to wake up early to reach office in time. Morning traffic is another battle which is fought week after week to avoid the delay. Contrary to above struggles, the ride back home is always pleasant. The most important reason for these pleasant rides is my wife who would call me every half an hour after 3pm to convince me to leave office early. I try to leave as early as possible, but then doing it so often won't justify the reason for which i come to office.

I usually leave office around 4:30 pm (assuming my attempt to reach office before 8:00 am is successful). Once i reach outskirts of city, i would call my wife to tell her that i've left from office. Next one hour drive is more or less same all the time. There's no traffic on the highway, so i can drive looking around the beautiful sights of settling sun and green fields. There is another city which lies midway from my office on the way to home. By the time i that city, it would get dark already. Once i safely get out of this city, the task already seems finished. The last one hour is always spent thinking about dinner. Like everyone, i too want to reach home as early as possible. I've to keep telling myself not to over-speed during this last one hour.

By the time i reach home, it's already very dark. Despite spending last ten hours in office, the drive back home is always smooth and joyful. I never get tired driving back home. Although it's only wednesday, it would feel like the weekend is here already. This tale of riding to office and coming back home repeats itself every week, and hopefully will continue for some more time as well.

Classic Cafe Latté

Since last week, I was thinking to write about my various encounters with Coffee. Since childhood, Coffee has amazed me like none other beverage. As a child, i was allowed to have coffee very rarely due to many reasons. The main reason which was always told to me upon asking for it, was that it could affect our blood pressure. As a child, this naivé explanation always proved to be sufficient enough to convince me. Sometimes in hot summers, i was allowed to have coffee shakes. In a nutshell, the sole reason that i had always enjoyed coffee was because it was rarely served to me.

During my college years, i was again not a very big fan of coffee. A busy five day college-hostel schedule followed by frequent visits to home left me with no time to enjoy the simple yet beautiful luxuries of life. During winters, coffee came to my rescue many times while waiting at cafeteria in free time. The time passed very fast that i couldn't do anything but ignore such pleasures. Then as i moved to New Delhi, the visits to coffee bars became more frequent with friends and colleagues. During this 3 year tenure in Delhi, i developed an addictive taste for coffee. Perhaps i should not say addictive, as i never made coffee at home, i was just happy sipping it at coffee bars. Among all the flavors  i always liked simple classic cafe latté. I always preferred it with light flavor of coffee with lots of milk (creamer) and sugar. So far so good. Life was enjoying its good terms with cafe latté and then what happened was least expected.

I came to US of America for my higher studies and was confronted with another flavor of coffee. Never heard of and never seen anywhere before: Black coffee. As i boarded my last flight Philadelphia to Bangor (while coming from India directly), the lady flight attendant asked me gently if i would like to take something. Since it was only an hour flight, i asked if she could serve me coffee. I was already feeling drowsy after travelling for last 30 hours. I took the sip through straw (that's how people in US sip coffee) and it hit me as if i had consumed some bitter poison. There was neither any sugar nor any milk in it. To make matter worse, she said they didn't offer sugar or milk packets during flights. After this harrowing first experience with black coffee, i didn't even try to touch it for next few months. Occasionally i took juice or soda (soda means coke or pepsi) instead of coffee whenever i went out with friends.

Once again i mustered courage to try it, but this time with some milk. But all in vain. After this unforgettable experience, i swore i won't drink it ever again. During all these months, i craved for that classic cafe latté even more. I remained loyal to my own home made recipe of coffee by adding one teaspoon of coffee and sugar in hot milk. Then again time changed and changed everything with it. I moved to Florida for my new job. Within my first week, i found it difficult to sit at one place for the whole day starring at computer screen. My colleagues seemed to enjoy the office hours. They frequently took breaks and were seen many times hovering around coffee machine. One day out of sheer boredom, i went to that coffee maker machine. There was a big refrigerator to its one side where many colleagues had put their lunch boxes and other beverages, while the other side was stacked with two microwaves and an oven for office use. My manager (an American) pointed out two milk bottles to me and said, "These are for common use". My eyes glittered and i came back to my cabin to see whether i can use my coffee mug for microwave use.

And since that day, Classic cafe latté still holds its charm..

The Gulabjamun burger

There is a time in everybody's life when he/she yearns for a little more money than what he/she possesses at that moment. For the majority, the yearning continues from the childhood till their last breath. Last weekend while eating burger at a restaurant near my place, i was as-usual complaining about the stale burger which was very neatly wrapped, placed in a clean plate in front of me. After staring at the burger for a minute and realizing that no one was going to come for my rescue, i took the first bite of that tasteless burger (wrapper said it was meant to be a spicy burger). Hurriedly i pour down half a glass of soda (soda means cold drinks in US) down my throat to get some relief from munching those bread crumbs. I took a short break before i could continue eating it again. My mind took me back to the childhood days. Whenever i think of my childhood, i always portrait myself playing in a grass field under the scorching heat of wild sun. No matter how gloomy or dark it is outside, the first impression of my own childhood remains the same.

While thinking of my childhood, my mind took me back to those wonderful school days in winters. In every break before the next class, we rushed to the playground to enjoy the warmth of sun holding few pennies in our hands. Hands tucked tightly inside the pockets and eyes staring at the canteen stall in the open playground. That canteen stall was also a reason to rush from the class as quickly as possible, so that we could buy delicious burgers for cheap. One would ask how cheap was it? I still remember very vividly those days when i could get a burger with a "Gulabjamun" sandwiched inside it just for two rupees. With the amount of pocket money i used to get during those days, i could afford to eat that burger once in a week. That special day, when i could eat the delicious burger and treat myself as a king, was always so much awaited.

The day would start nothing less than a dramatic climax. While packing my bag in the morning, i always used to tell my mom not to put too much food in my lunch-box because i would be too lazy to finish my lunch after eating the Gulabjamun burger. Giving minimum attention to what was taught in the class, my eyes were glued to the wall clock hanging just above the door. Those thirty minutes were the hardest when i used to wait for the lunch break to happen, holding the two coins in my tightly closed fists. I could wait there forever with so many thoughts running in my mind. Many times i was caught by my teacher for not paying enough attention to what was taught in class, but it could never shake my determination to stop imagining that wonderful feeling when i would own the delicious burger. As soon as the bell rang, the legs automatically cruised towards the canteen stall hiding the hands in the pockets from the chilled winter. Watching the poor guy wrapped in a pair of torn clothes at the stall used to bring such a delight to the eyes. The thought of opening up a same stall crossed my mind so many times, but luckily i never managed to gather the courage to speak out the plans to my parents.

Money and the Gulabjamun burger exchanged hands very quickly and soon enough i was at top of the world. Standing and enjoying every bite of the burger, i never bothered about the sweet drops of Gulabjamun dripping down from the burger on my white uniform shirt. Those ten minutes standing in the sun made my day. Those ten minutes summed up the value of money in my life at that time. The ten minutes were spent once in a week coming out of the mundane studies. My sympathies were always with the poor guy standing in the chilling winter, yet he never ate a burger himself. I considered him a guy possessing reasonable marketing skills. He used to sell the same burger with two Gulabjamun clubbed inside for three rupees. He was an expert in convincing the rich and fat kids to eat the super size burger. I always wondered when that day would come in my life when i could also afford this super size burger with two Gulabjamun. There were times when i split the cost of one burger with my friend, so that we both could enjoy our half burger. Many times spotting a friend in ground standing alone left me with no other option but to share my burger. The burger never seemed to be sumptuous meal, but i always relished every bite of it. I used to eat nothing after the burger before lunch, so that i could enjoy the sweetness of gulabjamun in my mouth for a long time. One week was indeed a perfect time to grow my profound taste for burger once again. The affair continued

While sitting in this not-so-elegant restaurant, I missed that appetite for the burger. The burger resting in the plate was waiting to be eaten by someone. I had no other option but to eat the stale burger. My heart felt the sadness seizing it. I felt bad for not being able to enjoy the burger at this moment, when i can actually afford it. I thought of transferring some dollars from my present to my past. I wish i had few more pennies every month in school, i would have loved to eat the super size burger with two Gulabjamun inside it. I imagined how it would feel to eat standing in middle of a school playground and being the center of attraction for everyone.  Alas, everything has changed with time. The combination was perfect with scarce resources to meet up with abundant demands, yet everybody was content. Before i could have the luxury to eat the super size burger with the addition of few more pennies in my pocket money, the poor guy left the school and also left so many hearts longing wishfully for the Gulabjamun burgers.

One year in United States..

It all started last year, roughly at around 11.30pm on last eve of 2010. While passing through the check-posts at the Delhi International airport, a thought came to my mind: where this coming year would take me? Pretty unsure of the new land where i was heading to. I had managed to get an insight into the behavior and cultural changes, which soon would engulf me too. After handing over some papers to the immigration officer, i had little time for introspection. Working in an Indian firm for almost three years fulfilled all my dreams till then, yet i resigned from it a week ago looking for a destiny about which even i was not sure of. I had managed to settle down well in that big city of Delhi, but the fear of an insecure future was eating away all my confidence. I admit future is and will remain unsure forever, no matter how much you've achieved so far. That's why its called future. Then what forced me to quit job and i landed up in United States? The continuous fear of a stagnant growth in my professional life, a ghost i was not able get rid of. I attempted CAT, GRE, TOEFL all in one year, after an unsuccessful attempt for GATE too.  After a long struggle for six more months, i got few acceptances from universities without any funding and still a long wait for the CAT results. In last week of November 2010, i got the much awaited visa and funding for the higher studies. And here i was almost ready to board the plane for the first time in my life.

The first funny thing i got to know was about the currency of US. All notes (notes are called bills here) were of same size but on every bill different personalities were engraved, unlike India, where you could see only MK Gandhi on every bill. Yes, the plane was huge but still i was unsure how this big thing could manage to fly for hours to take me to the other side of world. I was little nervous, but then all those other folks were not foolish enough to stake their lives for few thousand dollars. I buckled up my seat belt and soon i could see that wonderful view of the capital city. The long journey ended when i got out of 30-seater plane to reach the destination at 11pm on first January. The chilling winds and an uncomfortable dizziness welcomed me to US. Nobody was there to pick me up, as most of  students had been to New York for celebrating new year and the rest were not so interested in helping me out. It was totally deserted outside the airport at mid night. A couple of other passengers had someone to pick them up at airport. I looked out for a cab and found one standing at a lonely end of road. A fat white guy was sitting inside, somehow i gathered the courage to ask him to drop me. It was a cold dark night with -18 degrees and white snow sparkling all around the place. For the first time, i had seen the snow in such abundance and it looked lovely. Then started the journey to my friend's place from the airport. Those lonely roads with not even a single car, different sign boards hanging, huge stores and coffee bars on roadsides looked very similar to what i had seen so far in Hollywood movies. Finally moving into the darker ends with just a road driving me through woods and a complete stranger was accompanying me. I had no other option, but to trust him. After one hour drive from airport, he pointed out to a house and said," gentleman, here's your destination". Far away from those coffee bars and huge stores, it was a totally deserted place with snow on rooftops, on roads, windowpanes.  As far as my eyes could see, it was all snow.

I saw the Indian guy, whom i had talked to over phone, coming out. He was expecting me too. He showed me the room to stay there for few days till i find my own accommodation. The room was a dungeon cell, and i never expected that people stay here in such a manner which i couldn't even imagine. Though it was totally carpeted floor, well ventilated, but it was nowhere closer to my expectations. I made the resolution that i would move out from this place as soon as i get a better place. It was almost mid night, and i had one black coffee and a sand-witch since morning. The other guy pointed towards the kitchen. Kitchen was stinking, and yet there was nothing cooked inside it. Two plain bread toasts and lots of water was all i ate before sleeping that night. Though i always thanked that guy who helped me voluntarily with no intentions of getting any favor from my side. The night passed without any further troubles, and helped me to relax after the long journey of 33 hours.

Next day i went to meet my professor and it was probably the first instance when i felt better after arriving in US. The university was huge, and my department had every kind of advanced tools which one could ask for in Electrical engineering.  The first few weeks were little different, i used to talk less but people were really friendly. Soon i found a new apartment with an american friend and life started becoming smoother with passing of each day. During first semester, life was all about studying and making food. It ended on a high note with two straight A's in both courses and few food recipes which i had mastered so far.  Then came the summers and i saw the snow melting unleashing the beautiful grass beneath it. I saw the beautiful greenery at a place, where i thought none other than snow can ever exist. Time was spent luxuriously making trips to Boston, New York and Salt lake city. One more semester came, and i passed it again without a single B this time too.

During all these wonderful times, hidden were some dark times. The times when i used to felt so lonely, days passed by without talking to a single person in real. Phone and internet accompanied my loneliness. So many festivals came and left without getting noticed. Diwali was spent studying for the tests, while others just lasted like status update on Facebook. This one year brought so much change in me, i value every act how-so-ever small it may be. I cherish every moment spent with my loved ones, times may not remain the same forever. I love to eat my own cooked food, and have stopped complaining about it. Human species is same everywhere, every mother in this world cares for her child. Everyone wants to be loved and every heart regrets the feelings of hatred.

The life made me learn these lessons in hard way, while rewarding me for the patience which i kept in my heart always. It's 7pm in evening, not sure about my plans for tonight. I might end up cooking food, then eating it and hoping that One day this too shall pass..

Diwali day..

The nip in the air says it all. When the aroma of coffee enchants you more than a cold coffee shake, it's time to convince your heart not to wear half tees anymore. The warmth of sun pleases you more than the irritation of sun-burn. All these nostalgic feelings can sum up Diwali for anyone who has spent his years in north India. I've spent almost my entire life growing up in the chilled winters of Amritsar, some pleasant ones of Patiala and few romantic yet busy seasons in Delhi too.

Like every year this time too, i was excited for Diwali. The story is not the same like the past. A test on Wednesday, followed by submission of two assignments on Friday, that's all this week has in store for me. Pretty busy week, yet I've to find time to enjoy or at-least see others enjoying the most-awaited festival.  My nocturnal eyes can tell you the story of not getting enough sleep for last two days. Waking up late on Wednesday at around 8am to get ready for test, I was excited. The reason was not the test but Diwali. I was already looking forward to hear the sounds of crackers while talking at my home through skype. I finished the test by 12 noon and came back home. Although the bustling of crackers was almost over by the time i started talking at home; 01.00 pm in ET means 10.30pm in IST. Yet could hear or see some crackers dropping from the above sky leaving a trail of light. I saw all the pictures of evening, puja, lighting of candles and crackers. I relived my own past through those captured moments. For a moment, i couldn't even realize that I am not even closer to this pleasant reality. It was fun, at last it wasn't that bad to be in US as much as i was expecting it to be. Even the thought of sitting in lab whole day and making some food in dinner and eating it while reading some paper online, is pathetic.

The day was not over yet. After finishing talking at home, i thought of surfing for some religious prayers which i could play on YouTube.  It all ended watching the movie "Silence of lambs". Knowing the fact that next two days would be really hectic catching up with the assignments, i just wanted to enjoy the day, which every Indian has enjoyed once in his/her life. I managed to watch some religious songs before it was time for dinner. Sitting on computer for past five hours had made me lazy, so i decided to make maggi for dinner. In India, we have so many delicious foods to eat and taste on Diwali, how could i be so mean to my stomach? Finally made matar-paneer along with chapati. I don't want to indulge into the difficulties of making it, so let's move ahead. The food was eaten, a feeling contentment took over my mind (and stomach too).

I almost enjoyed the day like a holiday only. The only wish not fulfilled yet was to see the live aarti or prayers offered to God. I had my test, while all the prayers were performed in India. And this wish was fulfilled when my uncle called me up in evening to wish Diwali. He was still getting ready for the Diwali party at his place, so i told him to put me live on webcam so that i could also see the puja.  All such little wishes which means a lot to me were fulfilled by God. God never discriminate with the people far away from their lands :P

Now it's almost quarter to 2am here, i have some plans of calling my friends back home wishing them diwali before signing off only to realize that tomorrow won't be as lovely as it is today. Happy Diwali :)

The beautiful Maine..

Really busy these days, caught up with the load of assignments and mid terms. The weather couldn't be more beautiful than this ever. I wonder why God is so biased to gift all the serenity and peace to US, or is it the wonder of man-made technology. I am sure India has got the serenity, just that we can't explore those areas as those are still not accessible through roads. The beauty of nature lies in those places, which are yet not accessible by technology.

One more dream added, to visit the best places of India before...

I never wanted to do..part 2

How many times have you been caught under such circumstances? Doing something a moment, and start regretting right away the next moment.

In a class, everybody has something to boast about. Some boast of their dad's money, some for their crooked joks, some about the marks and some about the punishments. Isn't it cool that while whole class was crying after being punished by the class teacher, i stood like a rock never perturbed or hurt. These teachers can't even hurt me even in my dreams. If teacher asks you to get out of the class; some will stand and walk as if going to receive the award and some as if will be shot with a gun. If you are thinking is it about me walking across the class with shame in eyes and heart, there's nothing like it.

My class teacher in fifth grade was impressed with me. And i enjoyed every bit of attention which i got. Just like everyone else, I have some friends good in studies and some good in sports too. Some studying in my class, some seniors, a bunch of juniors. In whole, those were the good times of my school life. We used to talk about bad teachers, bursting into laughter over the silly jokes. Sometimes it was about sharing the moment of sorrows of failing in an exam or celebrating the success of it, we were together in all those times. Life was running smooth enjoying the attention of teachers and company of good friends during lunch-time. One day just before the lecture was going to end, my class teacher came into our class and asked me to accompany her to 8th class. On the previous day only, i got the highest marks in a test taken by that teacher. So while walking down the corridor, I was sure it was going to be something good for me in-store. I saw some familiar faces standing outside the 8th class with arms up into the sky. The seniors with whom i play cricket under those shady trees during recess. I tried to ignore them to lessen their embarrassment of standing outside the class. I kept walking passed them with eyes concentrating on the cemented floor. The teacher leading me turned right into the door of 8th class and without saying a word, I did exactly the same. The queue standing outside were asked to come into the room and here it started the real trauma. The teacher started it with a heavy pat on back and continued, " You should learn from this kid who's attentive in class with all homework done, but you guys will never understand unless you're given a real lesson by this kid. Aseem, Hit everyone of them two tight slaps on their faces." Totally shocked my legs froze there only. Next few moments were challenging and most embarrasing for them who were standing in front of me.

[Some tight slaps for the few unlucky ones and a reason of laughter for the rest of class]

Next few days were little hard. Those seniors were little embarrassed while i was struggling with a fear of revenge. But none was to blame except that strict teacher and we all realized it soon. We were back to routine soon. Same game of cricket was played in recess (lunch-time) everyday. I was happy that those seniors were really stubborn and did learn nothing from those tight slaps. The life was good there-after too.

Five things I never wanted to do..part 1

Why only five, yes the list can be extended to thousands of such incidents and this post will cease to end. I've to put some stop somewhere, that's why i'll mention those five which are still as vivid in my memory as if these incidents have happened just yesterday.

Starting with the first and oldest of these -

I was in fourth standard, and doing nothing much just little work and some play. I had a good old company of my friends. My school was also not so far from my village and i always took special interest in listening to the complaints of my fellow friends at village who used to go to schools in the city. I hated to be a narrator of sad stories, though i always had some but i never told anyone about those.

Someone has rightly said

"Times will never remain the same, and nor thou will remain same ever."

Now it was my time to move into such a school about which those guys used to complaint.  Always pretending to and trying to be a happy lad, i never wanted to go to that school which would take one hour to reach. I was not afraid to travel two hours daily in commuting, but i never wanted to give my friends a reason to laugh at me the same way i had done to them till that time. My parents had already chosen a good school for me, far away from village. Some schools always had a reputation to stand out apart in reputation with a bunch of strict teachers and a flock of intelligent students. And I was very afraid of both of them.

But i was none to decide as decision was already taken that I would be giving the entrance exam next week. I was told that it would not be that easy to get through the entrance test, as thousands of students from Amritsar and nearby villages would be trying their luck to get into that reputed school. I prepared well for two months for that test, yet i was scared in my mind of losing this flock of dear friends in this lovely school, which was neither much reputed nor so far from my home.

One more reason (which i think was more considerate) was that i never wanted to lose my position of class topper which i had earned in this previous school for last five consecutive years (since KG till 4th). In my village, it was a matter of pride and people do looked upon me with high opinion and also had high expectations from me. Before the test i was pretty confident to clear this obstacle with some luck and hard-work, but somehow i wanted to remain in the same surroundings.

The day came and i was nervous just like any other day when i had exams. I never wanted to hurt my own ego [and of many others too] that i couldn't make it to that reputed school. I wish there could be someway that i would pass this test yet couldn't make it to that school. Alas, but things were pretty straight forward at those times. I was confused about how to attempt the test. I entered the hall which was already packed with so many other students and got my seat. I was handed over the question paper by a lady teacher [she looked so similar to those unkind and strict teachers who would first insult and humiliate the student in front of whole class and then reporting it to the parents too]. One hour went and i was lost writing answers to the questions. I was happily running my pencil over the answer sheet almost done with first half of questions and hadn't missed any question. I was pretty sure by that time of making it into that school and then i stood up from my seat. I handed over the answer sheet to the teacher. I attempted first five questions out of ten, out of which two were of mathematics and two punjabi and one of science.  The teacher gave me a hard look through her spectacles and then turned her face towards the class. I came out from the class little confused whether i had done something wrong or not.

It was time for a result which was [at least] known to me already. I knew next few days would be hard trying to answer everyone what really went wrong and then again back to the same school as a class topper. It did hurt my ego a little bit whenever i had to face someone who was studying in that school. But again same sad stories of those big schools and my heart went merry-go-round. I was still sure if i had attempted the whole paper, i would have got admitted there. But that's how i wanted the things to be and it went my way. Even now when i think about it, it perplexes me which way should have been the ideal one. I never know and will never get to know what difference it would have made in my life.

One more year passed happily, again topped the exams [and time for same rounds of celebrations again]. Yet i don't regret my decision, as next year i got into a big reputed school of same category.

Initial first month was horrible as i used to count numbers of hours left before i could go home and met those friends again. Later on, those guys who supported me during those tough times became good friends. I don't know what i lost in that one year, but i do admit i earned that one more year of happiness by attempting half-heartedly in that test !!!

"S" making a buzz !!

Few days ago, i was fed up with my routine of attending my lab for most of the day and rest spent in sleeping. So badly i wanted to change it that i would do anything for the sake of 'change'. I paid up for the charges apart from tuition fees last week, and was regretting to pay $100 for the recreation center which would not be visited more than once in a week. My friend suggested," Why don't you accompany me for swimming since i am going to start practicing from the tomorrow." To be frank, swimming was never made for me and to me, it was god's gift to very few who could swim in those deep waters. I was rather content watching it on National Geography than to experience it myself. I nodded to the plan and brought the swimming glasses next evening. I never knew chlorinated waters could be so harmful for the eyes. I was amazed to see the count of young girls and boys at the pool center, yet reluctantly i entered one empty lane of pool which was 5 feet deep. Few tips were already passed on to me. First day as always was different, i couldn't learn much as expected from me though i have erased the term hydrophobia from my dictionary.

After practicing for 45 minutes, i (with my friend) went to the "whirlpool". It was a pool with flowing currents of water in a circular manner, so if anybody know swimming, all you need is to float and rotating waters will take you with the stream. Guys were really enjoying there and sure it was a fun to dive into the rotating stream trying to float. It was followed by a shower in giant tub of hot water spring and then "sauna". This word i heard it for the first time ever. With nice tracks played in the background, a sea built indoor with every imagined pool, big heaters warming up the place all the time, splashing of water in the pool-volleyball; May be that's the reason why they call it a land of abundance. Even on a weekend, when very few would come for the swimming, you could see those warm currents of water, splashing whirlpool with nobody there. I feel sorry for this nation for wasting so much energy in this leisurely acts, at a time when rest of the world (including US) is running out of resources.

Getting up early so as to reach lab in time, working till 5pm and then rushing to the recreation center. Nothing really happening over my research project these days, these are the moments i look forward to, else in a routine not worth-mentioning. I am sure with my previous experiences of fun-frolic days that it won't last so long. After few days, the fun-factor would be missing, still i'll continue for leaning.

For the time being, Study>>Swimming>>Sauna>>Sleep>>Study and so on...

A call from Chandigarh

The slow instrumental national anthem started playing with the blinking red LED, the calling number, though unexpected, was quite familiar with the initial code of 0172 (Chandigarh's STD code). I was surrounded with two lab mates, both Americans, so i didn't show even a little hesitation in answering the call as the next some talks would be either in hindi or punjabi language. From the other side came a swift "Hello (with that accented sign of exclamation after it), I am John calling from Credit union bank to serve you in a better way." I was moved by the unexpected tone, i pushed my chair a bit towards the window pane the leaves were fresh after the last night's rain, reminding me of beautiful weather of Chandigarh. Next few minutes went talking just like conversing to some monotonous machine. I randomly asked if he could mail me the statements for past week. He nodded affirmative before putting my call on hold to grab a pencil to note down the email id. "Oye pencil sutt de idhar ek, Sir, would you mind repeating your mail id again", said in a single tone and i was mesmerized. I asked," bhaji mil gayi pencil ?". There was a reason to laugh for both of us.

The race of the wisest species

The life has certainly taken a leap forward, from those muddy roads to clean paved paths, a place where every second counts and punctuality is the new motto of life. From a place of saints and humans, to the new world of machines. Machines are directed to behave politely, neither they ever cheat nor they are corrupted.

Life is smooth, as smooth as the melting butter over a hot non-sticky pan. The day i came here and now, looking past in these five months fills me with little optimism but more of regression. During all these different years, i had learnt one thing. That phase when you tried with the best of your will, with the grit, that phase which was most gruesome yet you never said no to your efforts, that phase when hope was replaced with despair and light was taken its place with darkness of failure yet you were hopeful for the sunny days, that was the finest hour of my life. The reason i believe in it is because those efforts in unyielding circumstances brings the best out of you. The glorious moments are the result of many painful and struggling nights. This one motto kept me alive during all those long nights, that one day the sun would be brighter than my little success and my friends and family would bask in the sun of happiness. This part of my glory is called happiness, not few pennies of money nor a lavish golf course. A company of few closed ones and an excuse to be happy. It may not last so long before the next task, but such excuses keeps you moving in this long and everlasting run. Last five months, as i expected them to be the most enduring, the months when i would have tried real hard yet they were none. The life is smooth and as smooth as it was five months ago.

I came here filled with some sense of responsibility towards my family, for some promises i made leaving the land where i had my most cherished memories. A new land where every face speaks a unique tongue, every eye sparkles with a unique glitter and midst all of them was me. That starting of year was also unique, sitting in the plane looking through the aisle window for those unreachable stars. The time will remain same, just like after every night the credibility of shining sun. I convinced my heart that either that motto will come handy for the coming next two years or it will be the result of enduring efforts i put in during some finest past years. I was never sure of the upcoming surprises in this new year, but this coming year had already taken from me some of the most precious moments of my life. It had already taken back those eventful journeys back to my home for which i had always looked with utmost anxiousness. It had already taken back those beautiful mornings spend going to the office in metro and looking at all those so-familiar faces everytime. It had already taken back so much from me that one day i would complain you the lord about all my grief, unless my dreams would be fulfilled. Those dreams which sure would be more eventful than those journeys, the dreams more beautiful than those rush-hour morning. The truth of the moment lies in the fact that neither those eventful journeys nor the beautiful mornings will ever come, time once gone will never come back. Nobody has ever got hold over this mischievous running time. When the eventful journeys and mornings were there, I always asked the lord for more. I asked for the change, or in true words i craved for the change yet always enjoyed my life to the fullest; when gifted with the change i always asked for, it filled me with uncertainty. I was reluctant to take this one more step into the new world and bring one more reason to smile for me and my loved ones.

Either god has made this wisest species of human beings so foolish or is it just me?

English language

In scorching heat of summers, auto rickshaw driver was even more intolerable. Paving his path slowly and steadily, it used to take him forty five minutes to cover ten miles. and i used to imitate my English teacher, opening up my course book rhyming in a loud tone. Sometimes found the words too tough to grasp, and many times just skipping it ignoring the fact of my poor vocabulary.

Those were the momentous times when i used to adore this language english more than anything else on this diversified world. Imitating my English teacher, hoping that one day i would be able to speak in such a lucid manner. Repeating it for hours, imagining how life would be conversing with each other in English language. I used to imagine that even sobering in front of class, mumbling bad words in English felt so good. Ask for anything, may it be for lunch or for an extra pile of bread; this world seemed perfect to me painted in English. Such was the euphoria for this language, tried many times to understand some English song but failed (I never pushed too hard to get the lyrics might be the reason). My crush for this language went berserk in 8th grade, when my English teacher came and his grammatically pure english made him my role model. Eyes twinkled to see him talking in english, it felt this person had the pleasure of life in his tales of English novels and books.

The college came and gave me the much awaited chance and the exotic platform to connect to fellow bloggers, explore this outer world through the medium, best suited for me . I felt envious reading and learning their heart-throbbing skills of written English, which still continues even till now; I do feel that magical touch in blogs. I read every line and try to conceive the revolving, ever changing meanings of words in numerous ways. Alas !! the craze has diminished; since talking and writing all day in this once-a-dream language has taken apart that feeling which nurtured for so many years reading one of the best phrases ever written in English. One may like or doesn't like my posts, unmoved from all the critics, I enjoy reading and writing (and now of course conversing) in this language.

the awakening dream..

I called my younger brother in a huskiness tone to put the cycle off the stand, so that we can go to temple. In the meantime, i put those two small aluminum wrapped paranthas in my jeans pockets and started running towards the outer gate. The weather couldn't be better, with minute particles of dust dancing in the settling light of sun, eyes trying to focus on ground envying the brightness of sun. Same street patterned in most haphazard manner with bricks pointing out of the plane, yet the tires of the cycle refrain ourselves from the bumps. I had already put enough food in my pockets yet was little gleeful about the hanging packet with some sweets over the handle of cycle. I never wanted to eat more pizzas, vegetable rice had replaced water from its place (consuming more rice than water in a day); never wanted to get away with chance of eating home cooked food.

Driving through the mud slopes of open road, noise of peddles tearing the greased hook of chain and we reached the temple. It felt god has given me one more chance to cherish these wonderful summers of my childhood. Watching the water pumping out from the big nozzle of tap, reserved in a pond and it was more clear and serene than my soul ever was. Dipping my feet into the pond brought respite to my scratched mind, much required at the moment. Even the water felt so sweet, much sweeter than what i used there in a far-away land. In short, I was lucky to be home from thousand miles of strange world. It was getting dark, yet the path was same upon which i had traversed for millions of time. Splashing water with my feet felt much better than those ruffled feet in white snow. Eyes were sparkling with those few lamp shades hanging outside the houses, could hear the cries of infants asking for food, smoke coming out of the chimneys in kitchen making my eyes sparkle even more, thinking about the days where this smoke was hard to see after eating dozens of plates of burgers.

I missed these long prayers, which i heard early in morning. Cushioning the pillow over the face to avoid the voices made me think of the days where there was no one to fulfill my longings to hear some unwanted voices. Alarms were ringing, could hear the chatters of my cousins getting ready for school, milkman banging the door despite telling him the door-bell hanging on the right side. Life was getting back to normal, and i got up. Looking out of the window, through the white lifeless snow made me realized, it was just a dream !!!

Happy Independence day

Sixty three years of independence has brought so many changes in our system, marked are so many winning occasions tailed with few forgettable moments too. Surpassing one billion mark on its population front, India is still facing major issues like energy, power and infrastructure.

Being a Socialist country, first comes the welfare of society before an individual's. This very logic of putting society's welfare before individuals is causing most of the trouble in its path for a developed nation. A very few readers are accustomed to read such posts of mine, but every word shall be free from the dirt of politics. I defy politics because it ruins the individuality of a person, the one who puts his heart to take this system to a higher level has to pass through the dirty lane of politics, and none has ever come out of it clean.

Taj Mahal is famous all across the globe. People all across the world comes to visit and if you ever have a chance, you must have noticed the disparity in the entry fees for a foreign guy and a local lad. A traveler ends up paying more than one thousand rupees to see the fascinating beauty and an Indian enters its premises for a bare minimum attempting to pluck two or three flowers from a prohibited park. Why is this disparity? Some may agree with the notion that it could help to earn more revenues which can be utilized for the development of our country. Charging an entry fees hundred times more from a foreigner is considered as an act of welfare for our country.

And if cab driver charges twice the actual amount, he is declared a rogue.. These are double standards prevailing all over the India. For the name of society, even the theft of money from a foreigner is justified.

The global market

A dungeon cell confined in the webs of spider. Packed sweets piled upon in layers spread over the front row of table. Bees could be seen humming through the transparent glass beneath the shelf, catching the aroma of sweet dishes kept in the glass shelf.

I laid an eye over the sweet shop round the corner while returning from my office. Walking through the straight road, it had become an act of deliberate ignorance to notice this hub of bees. An elderly woman in her mid-fifties could be seen, trying to wipe out the undesirable flock from her freshly made sweets. No passerby had ever shown a bit of interest in her products, still she pulled up the shutters at sharp 7th hour of clock in the morning. A child, laid in his racked clothes, clinging to the rotten walls of shop whose future seems confined to these four murky corners. Fan circulating the hot humid air across every direction showing no signs of respite under this scorching heat. Least bothered about the customers, mind bogged down shouldering the responsibilities of young minds and dreaming in leisure one day her child would get placed in Boston Consulting group (BCG). The road bore a deserted look as the sun was shedding under the thick clouds hovering over the west, walls stood numb hearing peacefully the echos played upon by the chirping of birds. In the meantime, she could hear the footsteps stepping over the cemented pathway the lucky ones were rushing to home after a long day at office. Miles to cover, hours to work before she could call it a day. As soon as the rays of sun ceased to reach her shop, coloured light filled up the entire room with light burning in yellow tinge gazing through the asymmetric steps of street.

Mapping my steps over the trodden pathway, I glanced over the shop with little interest. Sweets packets were still untouched, wrapped in red glitter paper with a hanging price tag Rs 60/Kg. The mystery of this global market was still unwary of the gullible world..

I want to fly ..

Only page where i fits in so comfortably is my Blog. The reason still flutters across my mind, which has started showing signs of impatience.

Yesterday, metro seemed missing those standing legs, light shimmering from those thick glasses of metro. Sitting alone, bag resting upon another seat, mind was rendering restlessly over the future and fingers sputtering over the pages of novel. Future holds so many promises for me, I am pretty optimistic, I am God's special one. These hovering clouds shall be scattered very soon, breaking the jinx and sprouting out the seeds of one whole new world for me.

This metro runs the same track everyday, I can't run on it forever. The hissing sound of metro may never cease, but my breaths would surely one day. It creates a chaos everywhere if it doesn't turn up and I shall leave it so peacefully that no one would bother to spare a thought for me. Anxious eyes looks down upon the wrist watch, ticking of heart grows faster with every minute of delay. This mammoth seems lucky itself, God has made it to fit in just one role.

My dreams are beckoning me, holding aloof the torch of dignity. They give meaning to meaningless, makes a sense in Utopian world, holds the charm till eternity. I look over the plain endless blue sky, these birds remind me of my goals visible yet so far. These birds are capricious dreams, keeps drifting as you wander across the globe. And most beautiful ones are the farthest ones.

Lord, give me the strength to fly..I want to fly !!

Joy in life !!

Yeah..One more year came and went past silently. Silently hissing down turning pages of life, one more year went past. This year, twenty third year of life taught me something which i couldn't grasp in last 22 years. This human nature is very predictable even under unpredictable situations. Never thought would ever be so ambitious in my life, as i am now. Hope and despair defined the whole world for me and i, maintained a steady pace running between these two extreme poles of human nature. Never ran so frantically as ever as i did; never lost was the goal of my life; never let myself so exposed to bitter realities of life, yet life hopes to stay hopeful..

Never met a person in my whole life, who could unveil the simplicity hidden beyond this complex life. Money kept rolling over the floors of geeks and under the tables of maligned minds. Love kept changing hearts falling over the swaying walk of one and bubbling with dimples of another but was never found in a solace corner of your room. Hard work kept me crawling through the rough trodden lanes, which never lead me to success or wisdom, rather were locked in a soft corner of my heart shackled in the reins of ambitions..of others..

As per the Greek mythology, every one's soul will be asked to confess two things before the almighty to seek a place in heaven.

You ever found joy in your life?

....You ever brought joy to someone else's life??

Heart shrugs it with a big hook, but truth is inevitable. None can bound it in spell of words. A single glitter in the crown of life, everyone running for it with blindfolded eyes, wrapped under the black cloth of materialistic pleasures of earth.

Oh god, made me sound and strong, that this creature of yours will never feel regretful facing you at doors of heaven...

Mannered life..

Is it really worth asking?

Time keeps nothing in its pocket. Things keep changing, people too. Once those clean palms, are now greased up. Those tireless legs are shaking in fear, forehead could sense the droplets of disgust running through the mind, heart ceasing to face the openness of this world. World seems confined to my place. These four blocks could deter the rays of settling sun or beaming moon, but not my thoughts.

"Which team won NBA finals last year?", asked a paper. I pondered over it for few minutes, recalling names of big leagues and shot it back at earliest. May be a year or two from now, I shall not recall the big, golden names. I may not recall the players who tamed fame, those names and fame may wipe out from memory; but shall never hesitate to narrate the ephemeral joys of childhood. Shall never fade those faces of friends, which made this world beautiful. Old lived names of them could bring a joyous smile on my face. The glories of world wars may diminish, but never the scars over the fight with my best friend.

Then why do we run after fame or money? We leave this peaceful and beautiful world, left the bunch of old good friends, left those protective shades of home; for whom? These thoughts persisted in my mind throughout the journey.

Been stuck in this baffled league pooh-poohing over the notorious manners of living, life seems no better than a Mercedes Benz.

A banner said : You can't tame this engine, but we have taught it some manners !!

Last four months introduced me to an exemplary personality. Though i have got tons to write; may it be my ever-going struggle for higher education or for achieving my dreams.

Everything will fall in its place at right time.

This page, seems strange, the same page which had supported me in all my times, mingling of words, power of explanations, endless interpretations of life, those days of joy and humming nights..nothing is lost !!

I shall write again..with all my heart !!

Worthiness of life..

Why life has stop turning itself to red? It is running like a mad bull. A bull who cares for none, an epitome of self-marked excellence, yet a worthless effort. I don't want to comment much, just that this life is adorable only when it is worth giving happiness on a sad face. This life is worth living if it makes someone else live too.

Life is worth laughing out loud sitting on those empty desks after the lecture, not trying to grasp every word slammed out of professor's mouth in the lecture. Life is worth going home with a gleeful face after scoring 75 percent in boards, rather then complaining dad that i got one mark wrong in physics. Life is all about happiness, not the possession of your self-marked goals. That feeling of contentment is worth living which comes to a rickshaw puller while seeing his child going to school. A workaholic's life gathers no worth piling up american dollars in a swiss bank. One needs to understand this broad-term called life. It is not a tissue kissing up the feet of those who climb up the ladder of success, it adores the one who keep smiling while falling down from the heights.

I have yet to learn this life. Still busy going to office because that one day salary is too hard for me to lose it now !!