excuse me..

A thought struck my mind while disconnecting a phone call early morning. Profusely defying my friend in her absolute need felt really awful. I never hold much regards about me being a very good person, had those instances of selfishness not touched my life. Always serving my own purpose keeping in mind not to dwell into the interest of others, I tried my best not to affect others adversely with my decision. Believe me; I can’t count you a single benevolent act solely for others. Every act is converging for the vested interests of me, may it be directly or in some veiled manner. My friends have a very soft corner for me, seriously not even in my wildest dreams had I ever lend a helping thought even. I know it’s bizarre on my account to discuss my inborn thinking, that too in a menacing manner. It would prove to be retrieving composure to my dogged mind, as I had already admitted to all my fallacious thinking. I had always been inactful to my peers in acute times. I regret my maligned efforts yet had already been ransacked by the vicious destiny-oriented mind.

Hmmm. Yet I shall try in coming times applying my impure soul to instill some purity in realm of my friends. Same is the lives of notorious literature composers like V S Naipaul or Salman Rushdie, incite me to the most. Going through the prologue of Midnight’s Children gave me fair idea about the vastness of topic covered in it, yet etched in very lucidly. I have to keep my black vintage dictionary for a better insight into the imaginative world of such pinnacle of literature. Desperately needful for his novel, I have to wait till company deposit my vague earnings into my bank account. Till then embodying on the newspapers and my own composed pile of posts.

Please excuse me..