With fingers crossed, I made a foray into a new world in January. A unique world where all that matters is either 0 or 1. Yes, probably you guessed it right: the digital world. It feels funny after working on huge power system components for last one year, i switched to take some computer engineering courses. Calculations of mega and giga watts reduced to mere 0 and 1. Output is either 0 or 1, how simple does it look? Some new languages, new operating systems and a brand new way of conceptualizing the stuff, this is all what I'll be learning (Or at-least will try to learn) in my last semester.
But these times are not the desired ones ever in my life. I'm standing on a wooden plank in midst of a vast sea, with no clue where these waves will take me. All i can do is keep flowing in the direction of tides. California, New York, Maine, New Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad all seem to be pretty far. I make plans and they all fade into the thin air in a wink of eye. Nothing seems certain, yet making all attempts to find the shore. Just flowing with the strong gushes of tides hoping they'll take me to a place where i will be standing among the successful and breathing the same thin air which once had eluded me from my goal. Apart from these uncertainties, there are some certainties too which always brighten up my life. Today is one such day. I wish i could express it but sometimes feelings are better understood than being said.
Yesterday I spent an unusually longer time editing my resume, or rather pondering over it. I've been involved in so many sports since childhood and fortunately still going strong. I used to play cricket (like any other Indian kid) in school and at the weekends. Though i still remember the class race in which a girl beat me in school days. During under-graduation, i played almost every game; Table tennis, chess, volleyball, basketball, lawn tennis and of course cricket. It was a time to learn something i was never very fond of. As the clock strikes 5 PM, the heart starts missing the chlorinated smell of water in the swimming pool. Since December, i've tried to be consistent in swimming and have done it well too. This one hour in a day is the most refreshing one for me. In February 2011, this feeling of entering the water used to give me jitters. A mere thought of entering into waters had never been less horrible than a dreaded nightmare. This one year i have overcome this phobia of water. I vividly remember all those unsuccessful attempts of splattering water all across the place yet couldn't stay afloat for half a minute. I used to crib why god has made this water blue (don't tell me it's transparent), a color of sadness and dullness. This phobia has been overcome; the same water which once was the color of depression has become the epitome of vastness and learning. This is the color blue which men like. Four consecutive rounds of free-stroke swimming under 2 minutes. Does it say more appropriately what i've learnt during all these times? I hope, yes.
Last winters were undoubtedly the hardest I've ever faced in my life. This time I'm more prepared to face the harshness once again and hopefully will see it never again. Surprisingly it has been quite warm this winters with very rare occasions of snow fall. But i do admit nothing makes a place look better than a light whitish layer of snow over the grass and edgy slopes of roof. I used to have a painting in my bedroom when i was a kid. A beautiful house was painted on a canvas depicting a sunny winter morning and a child looking out of window over the snow-covered mountains. It always fascinated me to travel to such a place, where i could actually see such landscapes. Never mind, but reality never has a stark resemblance with imagination in any measure. While i have that surrounding beauty around me for which i always had a longing, but there are no free lunches in this world. Everything comes with a price tag. This month, i missed India like never before. Such profound memories of a place where i've spent more than twenty years of my life, will never fade away so easily.
This one thing i got as a gift, and thought nothing else would keep it closer to me than putting it on my laptop. I love it.
