Contentment part-2

I talked about contentment in my last post about how i, as a kid, was more-or-less content with my life. I wouldn't say i had all the luxuries at my expense, but my parents gave me enough to make me feel fortunate. When i would see someone's parents working so hard as rickshaw-pullers or bus drivers, it made me realize the importance of every penny my parents had spent on me. Studying in a normal school (and not in convent) opened me up to all corners of world. Some kids from those corners where dogs were fed the cooked meat  at the weekend parties - while some from those corners where people ate the leftovers. When I would see kids sittings besides me wearing worn-out shoes, how in world could i muster the courage to ask my parents to get me a new pair of shoes simply because i'm fed up of wearing these for two months. I might muster the courage to ask my parents for another pair of shoes, and i might get one too. But my conscience would have felt ashamed next day sitting right next to that boy who still seemed happy in his old shoes.

As we grow up, these short stories get lost in this race to achieve some short-sighted goals of life. Once in a while, these memories would cross your mind when you see some kid walking down on road with bare feet under scorching sun. These memories would make you forget your worries to fix your car's AC or looking for a better apartment. But this moment doesn't last long. You forget all those faces of kids who once were your companions in school, but couldn't make it to an expensive college like yours. You might boast to snatch the credit by giving excuses of putting so many years of hard work, but deep down in your heart you also knew that those faces were more than capable of achieving what you have achieved in your life so far. Not pointing fingers towards anyone, i myself have forgotten so many faces which got lost in this race. I still vividly remember one such face, and i can say with all my belief that he would have got miles ahead of me in this race, had he gotten the luck with which i came into this world.

Such feelings make me realize the importance of everything i possess in my life. It makes me feel satisfied with whatever i possess. When i go to sleep at night, sometimes i smile and feel happier about the smallest of tasks which i completed that day. These small moments bring the joys of life which sometimes grand achievement fail to do..

Contentment

As you grow, this word takes new meanings in your life. When i was a kid (which i still am for my parents), this word was all about being happy with whatever I've got. Some kids went abroad for their summer vacations, some went to Goa, some went to visit their grand parents, some went to see snow at hill stations. Contentment was all about how many amazing stories i would be able to narrate to my friends about my vacation when we would get back together in school. While my friends narrated their stories of playing in snow, my mind wandered through those hills of mountains soaked in snow as if i was there for my vacation too. Such was the dreamy utopian world i lived in as a kid. I never complained if for any reason we didn't go anywhere for vacation, because i had belief that one day i would visit all these places from where friends had gotten these amazing tales of adventure. I was satisfied spending few weeks under the sweltering sun in my home backyard; because my belief had overcome the frustration of being at home all summers.

Satisfaction was all about being happy even if i couldn't score highest marks in my favorite subject. I used to be disappointed for a day or two, but it never lingered longer than that. The belief that i would get one more opportunity to score highest helped me to keep pace with time. Sometimes i think, we were more mature in our school time than we are now. We competed with our best friends for marks throughout the year, yet they were our best friends when it came to give one extra bite of chocolate on your birthday. You treated them with love and care. As we grew up, the competition got more stiff (or perhaps that's how you see it happening and in reality, it is same as it was a decade ago). Now you hardly talk about your personal matters with your work colleagues. You've a separate set of work and family friends. You celebrate one birthday in your office where you graciously acknowledge the warm wishes of your colleagues, and you open your heart out to your close friends later in evening. Life was never so tough a decade ago. How it became so selfish, or is it just me who has become selfish with time. Perhaps others are still alike your old school friends whom you trusted more than anyone in your life. Just like you, your colleagues too have got a separate set of close friends with whom they can crib about your shortcomings.

When you leave your work colleagues for a better opportunity (in terms of money or position), you miss them dearly just like you missed your school friends while parting ways after school. You miss your colleagues who were there for you when you got stuck in your work. You relish your office times which you spent with them learning new things, and how they were always so warm and polite with you. They might not hold you in good books, despite this fact they always greeted you with smile. They were not paid to be sweet to me at work, yet they did it voluntarily so that i could have a good day at work. Yet you never acknowledged it while you were there.

Same happened at every new step i took in my life, and same would happen in future too. So why can't i acknowledge the patience of others while they're in my life. After all life is too short to hold grudges against anyone. Make sure you hold them close to your hearts who treated you so dearly at any step in your life. It may not take you to heights in your career or double your income, but it surely will bring some contentment in your life. 

My frame

Many times we come across people in buses or trains generalizing the mindset of society in one liners like - We, Indians, can never be honest in dealing financial matters. It may be true or may not be so, but i'm not going to judge people or our society here. Been here in US for more than four years now, I've come across this question many times. For instance, once my fellow traveler while coming to India said something like 'As soon as you reach Asia, you find noisy people boarding planes and creating chaos everywhere'. I didn't react to his sudden outburst, but passed a smile. As an Asian myself (not sure what exactly is the criteria for being called an Asian, and for how long can i continue to be one of them), i was in agreement that Asian people posses less patience compared to their western fellows. But this perception is also confined to only what i've experienced so far at airports. Neither am i an avid traveler nor a visionary that one should believe what i perceive as right or wrong in my frame of world.

But then question arises - Is it really so? And if yes, why is it so?

One fine morning i was walking down my hotel's elevator in New York. I was in a hurry for a meeting at one of our client's office which was ten blocks away from my hotel. As i came out of my elevator, an old lady was standing besides the door carrying a heavy suitcase. Before she could move her feet to get near it, people around her rushed into the elevator and there was no space for her again. Next elevator came to a halt. One pack exited and another entered the elevator with same intensity and she was standing still at her place. I approached her to ask if i could lend her a helping hand to which she graciously agreed.

Due to this incident, i got late for my scheduled appointment. But the contentment of helping someone took over the little disappointment caused by being late. The same question arises- Do Asians posses less patience than their western counterparts? Not really in this frame of world.

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Update May 15th

The intent for the above writing was to showcase that people are same all around the world with some differences in terms of culture, race, religion, habits - But when it comes to survival, all react in same manner. We all will do what we deem is beneficial for us. Then we think of our loved ones, and then society. One can't compare the skills or habits of two persons who have been brought up in two different worlds all together. This is a great shame that it still occurs so commonly in this world. So, next time you're about to make a judgement on a person based upon his/her looks, clothes or color- think twice. 

Change

You are continuing your journey of life and suddenly it makes you realize all is worthless. It makes you feel what you've done so far brings nothing to your lowly waste life. You open Facebook bubbling with posts of your friends and colleagues - some cribbing for slow response of iPhone 6 while some celebrating their marriage anniversaries as if the world existed only to witness it.

Wish i had never to say it - but I've been there and done that. And this feeling brings the realization that you're one helpless soul on this earth. And then life slowly and steadily comes back on track. It doesn't mean you recover from that feeling, just that you've learnt to compromise with your life that it can never be as pleasant as it used to be. It brings moments of happiness and sadness at times, but never makes you forget what you don't have anymore. It makes you realize that you've got all once you've dream of - but still you will never be content.

The sun settles in west and will never change till my last breath. But my life will never be same anymore.

Leader vs Manager

I often think what make some managers so great and memorable  while others are usually lost in the pages of history. Is it striking personality of one; perhaps the way they express themselves or their soft spoken skills. But usually these features fade out with aging. The managers who would make a deep mark in your memory are usually the ones who would go a step extra to ensure your professional and personal goals are met. They would take pains to keep you motivated in professional space, they would make you believe in your capabilities. And if one doesn't have the required skills, they would ensure you learn the art to benefit the business in long run. This is what separates a Leader from a manager.

Leaders are those who'll support you to fulfill your personal dreams, and making sure the business enriches from your new-found inspiration. Many papers and journals are published to showcase the importance of a healthy and learning work space to successfully run a business. Business can never expand in a culture where employees are not groomed to fulfill their aspirations. This major shift in work cultures in big organizations is what sets them apart from other businesses.

Ride part-II

The ride discussed is part 1 is all about the painstaking mornings when i need to wake up early to reach office in time. Morning traffic is another battle which is fought week after week to avoid the delay. Contrary to above struggles, the ride back home is always pleasant. The most important reason for these pleasant rides is my wife who would call me every half an hour after 3pm to convince me to leave office early. I try to leave as early as possible, but then doing it so often won't justify the reason for which i come to office.

I usually leave office around 4:30 pm (assuming my attempt to reach office before 8:00 am is successful). Once i reach outskirts of city, i would call my wife to tell her that i've left from office. Next one hour drive is more or less same all the time. There's no traffic on the highway, so i can drive looking around the beautiful sights of settling sun and green fields. There is another city which lies midway from my office on the way to home. By the time i that city, it would get dark already. Once i safely get out of this city, the task already seems finished. The last one hour is always spent thinking about dinner. Like everyone, i too want to reach home as early as possible. I've to keep telling myself not to over-speed during this last one hour.

By the time i reach home, it's already very dark. Despite spending last ten hours in office, the drive back home is always smooth and joyful. I never get tired driving back home. Although it's only wednesday, it would feel like the weekend is here already. This tale of riding to office and coming back home repeats itself every week, and hopefully will continue for some more time as well.

Thanksgiving weekend

Finally the weekend has reached its dying final stage. Usual Sunday gloomy evenings which are spent staring at computer for hours; with a mind already lost in the worries of coming week. I (and my wife) had planned and waited for this weekend for so long. Thursday and Friday were off due to thanksgiving break.

We left from our home early Thursday morning so that we could reach Fort Lauderdale for lunch which is a suburb of Miami city. In US, the bigger cities are divided into smaller suburbs. This city, Ft Lauderdale, is famous for its beach houses and many lavish restaurants. Since it was the thanksgiving day, the restaurants were not packed with people as many of them prefer to cook food at home on Thanksgiving day.  We had our lunch at one of those stylish European-built restaurants and we left for Miami South Beach. This beach is considered to be among the best beaches to travel in US, if not the entire world. The luke warm water is pearl-green in color served over white glittering sand. I wish i had words to describe the beauty of this beach which can only be justified with the view of it. We spent roughly two hours on beach. The best part of it was soaking your body on the white warm sand under the bright sun. There are very fewer natural gifts left on this Earth which we, human beings, still admire.

The street surrounding this beach has an ambiance which one can't find at any other place. We had our dinner at a beach side place on Ocean drive and soon left for our hotel in Miami downtown. Downtown is another word which is used very commonly to denote to the main market area of town where most of the dining places and malls are located. I won't say much and would let the below picture say about the view from our hotel room.

When we checked into the hotel, i didn't know which room would be allotted. It was a sheer coincidence that this room was available and we were in the hotel at right time. Next morning we left the hotel and Miami for our next destination, Key west. Miami is the southernmost city of US on the east coast, and Key west is the southernmost key which is now a part of United States.

Contrary to Miami, all the shops and eating joints in Key west are so unique and full of art work. It has an authentic artistic ambiance which is very rarely found in a country predominantly populated with chain restaurants and fast food joints. We had our dinner at one such food joint and spent rest of the day exploring the city market. Basically the entire market resides on one street, which is also known as Duvaal street. Personally, i would have preferred spending the entire day in heated swimming pool at our hotel. That time spent in pool was perhaps the most memorable for me. Next morning we left out early for para-sailing as per our scheduled plan. I had never done para-sailing before; hence it was even more special for me. One doesn't get a lot of chances in life to experience a moment when you're flying above your fellow birds in an abundant sky beneath a vast pearl green ocean.

We took some photographs for rest of the noon at the beach and left for our home. I'm not sure of the importance of writing down such minute details of my trip; but hopefully it might become a reason of smile when i would read it some years later.

The Ride

To compensate for working remotely, i go to my office once in a week. I stay there with my friend for a night and start my next working day early in morning, so that i could leave for home early in evening. These two days in my weekly schedule are the most arduous ones, if not necessarily the most productive ones. I try to keep the schedule same every week, but sometimes i need to chalk out the alternate days depending upon holidays, vacations or my wife's work schedule.

I read somewhere that "Predictability is good", and this post has somehow reinstated my belief in it. On the usual weekdays, i try to keep Tuesday and Wednesday for my office visit and i try not to reschedule it for minor reasons. The hard part is always getting up early on Tuesday so that i could reach office before 9:15am. Once all set to leave, things get easier once i hit the road for next 150 minutes of journey. I would prefer skipping the first half because most of it goes into getting out of city and its traffic, which can engulf you on the bad days. While the other half resembles a roller-coaster ride where you enjoy the scenic beauty and are often lost into day-dreaming which gets disturbed by the rare moment of a passing car. At that moment, i forget about all the hurries and hassles in world. If i could, i would just keep driving on that straight endless road surrounded with the scenic green pasture fields. If i had time, i would keep staring at the cattle grazing in those green fields. But these moments are often perturbed by the ringing of my phone. Most of the times i would be in office before 9:30am if not stuck in a bad traffic.

While driving to work in morning

This concludes the initial phase of my work week, which i would say is a hard one, but sometimes can be succeeded by even more tougher phases work permitting. Let's keep the rest for the next post...