Out of cocoon

Finally out of cocoon after a 7 month long hibernation. Life is still moving at a sweet little pace; at a pace where one can enjoy the journey and can't get bored by the dullness of slow pace. Few months of hard work again ignites your hopes of achieving what you couldn't do so far in life.

And i can see myself standing on the verge of the door of opportunity - raising my hand to knock on its door. Only God knows if it will open or will remain shut just like the door of so many dreams which i wanted to pursue but couldn't. 

Corporate world - Part 2

Finally after investing a good long 20 months of my life, fruit has ripened once again. One is never sure of its destiny, and same was the case with me when i left my job at Reliance Energy. Just like everyone else, i too had read enormous quotes defining the importance of taking risks in one's life. But when you face such a dilemma in real life, those quotes just fade away in no time leaving you in the middle of the road. The only factor which kept me determined and moving ahead was the frustration of learning nothing new in the corporate life. The luck favored and i landed up in US with just one hope; to learn as much as i can till this phase lasts. Money matters, but two years ago, i had enough of it to fulfill all my needs and greed.

After i landed, next 20 months passed away in a wink of eye. In these 20 months, i have lived up-to my own expectations and it still gives me a reason to smile. Others were expecting at that time too and are still expecting, but who am i to fulfill the expectations of this world. All is well that ends well, and pretty similar to such enchanting stories i too have a happy ending with a job in my hand before leaving the university. Leaving the university again made me think twice about the life in corporate sphere. But i had no other alternative, moreover i never wanted one. I accepted the job offer without any second thought. The transition to the corporate world has been very comfortable so far. Very much true to my expectations, my colleagues are very friendly and this phase will continue till our work conflicts with each other. One can work 24 hours a day in office, but next morning you again will have the same amount of work waiting for you. So in my opinion, it's better to do as much work as you think justifies your compensation. Needless to say, i too have big plans for both my personal and social sphere with the pouring money into my account.

Sitting in my office, i often think what next? I'm clueless about it...

..

I never wanted to write this post before next week, but can't see a void in posts in April month either. So taking up this task to write a post right now on the very last day. Just three days away from what i would like to call "absolute freedom". Three more days before finishing off my course work for MS. Doing every bit possible to score as much as i can, possibly targeting for three straight A's. I shall be back very soon with loads to share and discuss upon.

Spring 2012

Waiting for the start of a new dawn. A new beginning, a new semester, some new courses, but i promise not to let down the expectations of few, not to deter by the obstacles, the zeal and vigor will never lessen. Probably experiencing these harsh winters for the last time, no more lonely walks in these woods and cravings to talk to a person in real. I had chatted with my room for hours, snow had danced in front of my eyes till they were tired watching it.

Time will change and will change for good. It always reminds me of a poem which Robert Frost wrote and i read it during my bachelors. The two lines touched my heart nothing less than any magical chord-

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I-- -- I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference..

But i never had an option to choose the one less traveled by. Some mightier and stronger can do so, but meant nothing for the ones with a mellow heart. Time never remains the same, it has changed. From those silent nights under the vast open sky to the hustle and bustle of a big city, the destiny has taken me to a point from where two roads diverge. And i'll take the one less traveled by and Shall it make all the difference.

One year in United States..

It all started last year, roughly at around 11.30pm on last eve of 2010. While passing through the check-posts at the Delhi International airport, a thought came to my mind: where this coming year would take me? Pretty unsure of the new land where i was heading to. I had managed to get an insight into the behavior and cultural changes, which soon would engulf me too. After handing over some papers to the immigration officer, i had little time for introspection. Working in an Indian firm for almost three years fulfilled all my dreams till then, yet i resigned from it a week ago looking for a destiny about which even i was not sure of. I had managed to settle down well in that big city of Delhi, but the fear of an insecure future was eating away all my confidence. I admit future is and will remain unsure forever, no matter how much you've achieved so far. That's why its called future. Then what forced me to quit job and i landed up in United States? The continuous fear of a stagnant growth in my professional life, a ghost i was not able get rid of. I attempted CAT, GRE, TOEFL all in one year, after an unsuccessful attempt for GATE too.  After a long struggle for six more months, i got few acceptances from universities without any funding and still a long wait for the CAT results. In last week of November 2010, i got the much awaited visa and funding for the higher studies. And here i was almost ready to board the plane for the first time in my life.

The first funny thing i got to know was about the currency of US. All notes (notes are called bills here) were of same size but on every bill different personalities were engraved, unlike India, where you could see only MK Gandhi on every bill. Yes, the plane was huge but still i was unsure how this big thing could manage to fly for hours to take me to the other side of world. I was little nervous, but then all those other folks were not foolish enough to stake their lives for few thousand dollars. I buckled up my seat belt and soon i could see that wonderful view of the capital city. The long journey ended when i got out of 30-seater plane to reach the destination at 11pm on first January. The chilling winds and an uncomfortable dizziness welcomed me to US. Nobody was there to pick me up, as most of  students had been to New York for celebrating new year and the rest were not so interested in helping me out. It was totally deserted outside the airport at mid night. A couple of other passengers had someone to pick them up at airport. I looked out for a cab and found one standing at a lonely end of road. A fat white guy was sitting inside, somehow i gathered the courage to ask him to drop me. It was a cold dark night with -18 degrees and white snow sparkling all around the place. For the first time, i had seen the snow in such abundance and it looked lovely. Then started the journey to my friend's place from the airport. Those lonely roads with not even a single car, different sign boards hanging, huge stores and coffee bars on roadsides looked very similar to what i had seen so far in Hollywood movies. Finally moving into the darker ends with just a road driving me through woods and a complete stranger was accompanying me. I had no other option, but to trust him. After one hour drive from airport, he pointed out to a house and said," gentleman, here's your destination". Far away from those coffee bars and huge stores, it was a totally deserted place with snow on rooftops, on roads, windowpanes.  As far as my eyes could see, it was all snow.

I saw the Indian guy, whom i had talked to over phone, coming out. He was expecting me too. He showed me the room to stay there for few days till i find my own accommodation. The room was a dungeon cell, and i never expected that people stay here in such a manner which i couldn't even imagine. Though it was totally carpeted floor, well ventilated, but it was nowhere closer to my expectations. I made the resolution that i would move out from this place as soon as i get a better place. It was almost mid night, and i had one black coffee and a sand-witch since morning. The other guy pointed towards the kitchen. Kitchen was stinking, and yet there was nothing cooked inside it. Two plain bread toasts and lots of water was all i ate before sleeping that night. Though i always thanked that guy who helped me voluntarily with no intentions of getting any favor from my side. The night passed without any further troubles, and helped me to relax after the long journey of 33 hours.

Next day i went to meet my professor and it was probably the first instance when i felt better after arriving in US. The university was huge, and my department had every kind of advanced tools which one could ask for in Electrical engineering.  The first few weeks were little different, i used to talk less but people were really friendly. Soon i found a new apartment with an american friend and life started becoming smoother with passing of each day. During first semester, life was all about studying and making food. It ended on a high note with two straight A's in both courses and few food recipes which i had mastered so far.  Then came the summers and i saw the snow melting unleashing the beautiful grass beneath it. I saw the beautiful greenery at a place, where i thought none other than snow can ever exist. Time was spent luxuriously making trips to Boston, New York and Salt lake city. One more semester came, and i passed it again without a single B this time too.

During all these wonderful times, hidden were some dark times. The times when i used to felt so lonely, days passed by without talking to a single person in real. Phone and internet accompanied my loneliness. So many festivals came and left without getting noticed. Diwali was spent studying for the tests, while others just lasted like status update on Facebook. This one year brought so much change in me, i value every act how-so-ever small it may be. I cherish every moment spent with my loved ones, times may not remain the same forever. I love to eat my own cooked food, and have stopped complaining about it. Human species is same everywhere, every mother in this world cares for her child. Everyone wants to be loved and every heart regrets the feelings of hatred.

The life made me learn these lessons in hard way, while rewarding me for the patience which i kept in my heart always. It's 7pm in evening, not sure about my plans for tonight. I might end up cooking food, then eating it and hoping that One day this too shall pass..

I never wanted to do..part 2

How many times have you been caught under such circumstances? Doing something a moment, and start regretting right away the next moment.

In a class, everybody has something to boast about. Some boast of their dad's money, some for their crooked joks, some about the marks and some about the punishments. Isn't it cool that while whole class was crying after being punished by the class teacher, i stood like a rock never perturbed or hurt. These teachers can't even hurt me even in my dreams. If teacher asks you to get out of the class; some will stand and walk as if going to receive the award and some as if will be shot with a gun. If you are thinking is it about me walking across the class with shame in eyes and heart, there's nothing like it.

My class teacher in fifth grade was impressed with me. And i enjoyed every bit of attention which i got. Just like everyone else, I have some friends good in studies and some good in sports too. Some studying in my class, some seniors, a bunch of juniors. In whole, those were the good times of my school life. We used to talk about bad teachers, bursting into laughter over the silly jokes. Sometimes it was about sharing the moment of sorrows of failing in an exam or celebrating the success of it, we were together in all those times. Life was running smooth enjoying the attention of teachers and company of good friends during lunch-time. One day just before the lecture was going to end, my class teacher came into our class and asked me to accompany her to 8th class. On the previous day only, i got the highest marks in a test taken by that teacher. So while walking down the corridor, I was sure it was going to be something good for me in-store. I saw some familiar faces standing outside the 8th class with arms up into the sky. The seniors with whom i play cricket under those shady trees during recess. I tried to ignore them to lessen their embarrassment of standing outside the class. I kept walking passed them with eyes concentrating on the cemented floor. The teacher leading me turned right into the door of 8th class and without saying a word, I did exactly the same. The queue standing outside were asked to come into the room and here it started the real trauma. The teacher started it with a heavy pat on back and continued, " You should learn from this kid who's attentive in class with all homework done, but you guys will never understand unless you're given a real lesson by this kid. Aseem, Hit everyone of them two tight slaps on their faces." Totally shocked my legs froze there only. Next few moments were challenging and most embarrasing for them who were standing in front of me.

[Some tight slaps for the few unlucky ones and a reason of laughter for the rest of class]

Next few days were little hard. Those seniors were little embarrassed while i was struggling with a fear of revenge. But none was to blame except that strict teacher and we all realized it soon. We were back to routine soon. Same game of cricket was played in recess (lunch-time) everyday. I was happy that those seniors were really stubborn and did learn nothing from those tight slaps. The life was good there-after too.

Five things I never wanted to do..part 1

Why only five, yes the list can be extended to thousands of such incidents and this post will cease to end. I've to put some stop somewhere, that's why i'll mention those five which are still as vivid in my memory as if these incidents have happened just yesterday.

Starting with the first and oldest of these -

I was in fourth standard, and doing nothing much just little work and some play. I had a good old company of my friends. My school was also not so far from my village and i always took special interest in listening to the complaints of my fellow friends at village who used to go to schools in the city. I hated to be a narrator of sad stories, though i always had some but i never told anyone about those.

Someone has rightly said

"Times will never remain the same, and nor thou will remain same ever."

Now it was my time to move into such a school about which those guys used to complaint.  Always pretending to and trying to be a happy lad, i never wanted to go to that school which would take one hour to reach. I was not afraid to travel two hours daily in commuting, but i never wanted to give my friends a reason to laugh at me the same way i had done to them till that time. My parents had already chosen a good school for me, far away from village. Some schools always had a reputation to stand out apart in reputation with a bunch of strict teachers and a flock of intelligent students. And I was very afraid of both of them.

But i was none to decide as decision was already taken that I would be giving the entrance exam next week. I was told that it would not be that easy to get through the entrance test, as thousands of students from Amritsar and nearby villages would be trying their luck to get into that reputed school. I prepared well for two months for that test, yet i was scared in my mind of losing this flock of dear friends in this lovely school, which was neither much reputed nor so far from my home.

One more reason (which i think was more considerate) was that i never wanted to lose my position of class topper which i had earned in this previous school for last five consecutive years (since KG till 4th). In my village, it was a matter of pride and people do looked upon me with high opinion and also had high expectations from me. Before the test i was pretty confident to clear this obstacle with some luck and hard-work, but somehow i wanted to remain in the same surroundings.

The day came and i was nervous just like any other day when i had exams. I never wanted to hurt my own ego [and of many others too] that i couldn't make it to that reputed school. I wish there could be someway that i would pass this test yet couldn't make it to that school. Alas, but things were pretty straight forward at those times. I was confused about how to attempt the test. I entered the hall which was already packed with so many other students and got my seat. I was handed over the question paper by a lady teacher [she looked so similar to those unkind and strict teachers who would first insult and humiliate the student in front of whole class and then reporting it to the parents too]. One hour went and i was lost writing answers to the questions. I was happily running my pencil over the answer sheet almost done with first half of questions and hadn't missed any question. I was pretty sure by that time of making it into that school and then i stood up from my seat. I handed over the answer sheet to the teacher. I attempted first five questions out of ten, out of which two were of mathematics and two punjabi and one of science.  The teacher gave me a hard look through her spectacles and then turned her face towards the class. I came out from the class little confused whether i had done something wrong or not.

It was time for a result which was [at least] known to me already. I knew next few days would be hard trying to answer everyone what really went wrong and then again back to the same school as a class topper. It did hurt my ego a little bit whenever i had to face someone who was studying in that school. But again same sad stories of those big schools and my heart went merry-go-round. I was still sure if i had attempted the whole paper, i would have got admitted there. But that's how i wanted the things to be and it went my way. Even now when i think about it, it perplexes me which way should have been the ideal one. I never know and will never get to know what difference it would have made in my life.

One more year passed happily, again topped the exams [and time for same rounds of celebrations again]. Yet i don't regret my decision, as next year i got into a big reputed school of same category.

Initial first month was horrible as i used to count numbers of hours left before i could go home and met those friends again. Later on, those guys who supported me during those tough times became good friends. I don't know what i lost in that one year, but i do admit i earned that one more year of happiness by attempting half-heartedly in that test !!!

Social media; a fad or revolution?

Social media has expanded its network in no-time and has outreached the capacity of any imaginative thinking. It started almost a decade ago with few networking sites launching their platforms on internet for ordinary people to interact in a more casual manner than e-mails. Among those few remained a hit while others were wiped out in this giant wave of social networking. In terms of real success, Orkut was the first networking site though it took sometime to mark its presence in the new roaring age of internet. Personally too, it was my first experience of being in this new lime-light of social media, where you can reach far out to the outer world. I made the most of it by opening account on it, later shifting to the blogger to give a vent to my feelings into the outer world. I still remember refreshing my homepage again and again to see some new update on my scrapbook, roaming on to the scrapbooks of others; some were clapping with happiness while others fuming with disappointment. It looked as if everyone had got in a relationship with the social media, a personal space of your anonymity expressing your thoughts in your very own way, giving a very little importance to what others would think of you. It became a voice for voiceless, a source of power for the weak and backbone for the spineless human.

When some thought it might be the end for this new fad of social media, networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn gave it a new meaning. It explored a new dimension of people, a new media to interact for all levels of communication, It suited every age-group; from a teenager looking for his/her crush to older ones trying to reunite with their batch-mates and family spread across the world. With six months,the number of Facebook users surpassed the population of majority of nations. It became a new tool for the industries to market their product and giving the real insight to the reviews of same product for the consumer market as well. A brand become a synonym to one's lifestyle and showing off your new gadget could set you apart from the bunch of ordinary men and women. With the expansion of this era, more companies started pouring in this new business with a wide set of ideas and culture values. Invention of new applications converged all sources of information to just few websites. Surfing on these websites for few hours will make you feel like visiting some community fair, discussing and exchanging your ideas with people from entirely different backgrounds. To listen to some song, i prefer surfing Facebook rather than YouTube. Companies who couldn't afford a separate chain for marketing their products got a new media much more efficient and powerful than its outdated counter-part. Some firms made millions of dollar using it wisely by reaching out to its customers while others were dusted from the market for not giving due attention to its customer-care chain.

The author has put it so lucidly to define its importance in present marketing world : From Social Media to Social Strategy.

A call from Chandigarh

The slow instrumental national anthem started playing with the blinking red LED, the calling number, though unexpected, was quite familiar with the initial code of 0172 (Chandigarh's STD code). I was surrounded with two lab mates, both Americans, so i didn't show even a little hesitation in answering the call as the next some talks would be either in hindi or punjabi language. From the other side came a swift "Hello (with that accented sign of exclamation after it), I am John calling from Credit union bank to serve you in a better way." I was moved by the unexpected tone, i pushed my chair a bit towards the window pane the leaves were fresh after the last night's rain, reminding me of beautiful weather of Chandigarh. Next few minutes went talking just like conversing to some monotonous machine. I randomly asked if he could mail me the statements for past week. He nodded affirmative before putting my call on hold to grab a pencil to note down the email id. "Oye pencil sutt de idhar ek, Sir, would you mind repeating your mail id again", said in a single tone and i was mesmerized. I asked," bhaji mil gayi pencil ?". There was a reason to laugh for both of us.

The race of the wisest species

The life has certainly taken a leap forward, from those muddy roads to clean paved paths, a place where every second counts and punctuality is the new motto of life. From a place of saints and humans, to the new world of machines. Machines are directed to behave politely, neither they ever cheat nor they are corrupted.

Life is smooth, as smooth as the melting butter over a hot non-sticky pan. The day i came here and now, looking past in these five months fills me with little optimism but more of regression. During all these different years, i had learnt one thing. That phase when you tried with the best of your will, with the grit, that phase which was most gruesome yet you never said no to your efforts, that phase when hope was replaced with despair and light was taken its place with darkness of failure yet you were hopeful for the sunny days, that was the finest hour of my life. The reason i believe in it is because those efforts in unyielding circumstances brings the best out of you. The glorious moments are the result of many painful and struggling nights. This one motto kept me alive during all those long nights, that one day the sun would be brighter than my little success and my friends and family would bask in the sun of happiness. This part of my glory is called happiness, not few pennies of money nor a lavish golf course. A company of few closed ones and an excuse to be happy. It may not last so long before the next task, but such excuses keeps you moving in this long and everlasting run. Last five months, as i expected them to be the most enduring, the months when i would have tried real hard yet they were none. The life is smooth and as smooth as it was five months ago.

I came here filled with some sense of responsibility towards my family, for some promises i made leaving the land where i had my most cherished memories. A new land where every face speaks a unique tongue, every eye sparkles with a unique glitter and midst all of them was me. That starting of year was also unique, sitting in the plane looking through the aisle window for those unreachable stars. The time will remain same, just like after every night the credibility of shining sun. I convinced my heart that either that motto will come handy for the coming next two years or it will be the result of enduring efforts i put in during some finest past years. I was never sure of the upcoming surprises in this new year, but this coming year had already taken from me some of the most precious moments of my life. It had already taken back those eventful journeys back to my home for which i had always looked with utmost anxiousness. It had already taken back those beautiful mornings spend going to the office in metro and looking at all those so-familiar faces everytime. It had already taken back so much from me that one day i would complain you the lord about all my grief, unless my dreams would be fulfilled. Those dreams which sure would be more eventful than those journeys, the dreams more beautiful than those rush-hour morning. The truth of the moment lies in the fact that neither those eventful journeys nor the beautiful mornings will ever come, time once gone will never come back. Nobody has ever got hold over this mischievous running time. When the eventful journeys and mornings were there, I always asked the lord for more. I asked for the change, or in true words i craved for the change yet always enjoyed my life to the fullest; when gifted with the change i always asked for, it filled me with uncertainty. I was reluctant to take this one more step into the new world and bring one more reason to smile for me and my loved ones.

Either god has made this wisest species of human beings so foolish or is it just me?

English language

In scorching heat of summers, auto rickshaw driver was even more intolerable. Paving his path slowly and steadily, it used to take him forty five minutes to cover ten miles. and i used to imitate my English teacher, opening up my course book rhyming in a loud tone. Sometimes found the words too tough to grasp, and many times just skipping it ignoring the fact of my poor vocabulary.

Those were the momentous times when i used to adore this language english more than anything else on this diversified world. Imitating my English teacher, hoping that one day i would be able to speak in such a lucid manner. Repeating it for hours, imagining how life would be conversing with each other in English language. I used to imagine that even sobering in front of class, mumbling bad words in English felt so good. Ask for anything, may it be for lunch or for an extra pile of bread; this world seemed perfect to me painted in English. Such was the euphoria for this language, tried many times to understand some English song but failed (I never pushed too hard to get the lyrics might be the reason). My crush for this language went berserk in 8th grade, when my English teacher came and his grammatically pure english made him my role model. Eyes twinkled to see him talking in english, it felt this person had the pleasure of life in his tales of English novels and books.

The college came and gave me the much awaited chance and the exotic platform to connect to fellow bloggers, explore this outer world through the medium, best suited for me . I felt envious reading and learning their heart-throbbing skills of written English, which still continues even till now; I do feel that magical touch in blogs. I read every line and try to conceive the revolving, ever changing meanings of words in numerous ways. Alas !! the craze has diminished; since talking and writing all day in this once-a-dream language has taken apart that feeling which nurtured for so many years reading one of the best phrases ever written in English. One may like or doesn't like my posts, unmoved from all the critics, I enjoy reading and writing (and now of course conversing) in this language.

the awakening dream..

I called my younger brother in a huskiness tone to put the cycle off the stand, so that we can go to temple. In the meantime, i put those two small aluminum wrapped paranthas in my jeans pockets and started running towards the outer gate. The weather couldn't be better, with minute particles of dust dancing in the settling light of sun, eyes trying to focus on ground envying the brightness of sun. Same street patterned in most haphazard manner with bricks pointing out of the plane, yet the tires of the cycle refrain ourselves from the bumps. I had already put enough food in my pockets yet was little gleeful about the hanging packet with some sweets over the handle of cycle. I never wanted to eat more pizzas, vegetable rice had replaced water from its place (consuming more rice than water in a day); never wanted to get away with chance of eating home cooked food.

Driving through the mud slopes of open road, noise of peddles tearing the greased hook of chain and we reached the temple. It felt god has given me one more chance to cherish these wonderful summers of my childhood. Watching the water pumping out from the big nozzle of tap, reserved in a pond and it was more clear and serene than my soul ever was. Dipping my feet into the pond brought respite to my scratched mind, much required at the moment. Even the water felt so sweet, much sweeter than what i used there in a far-away land. In short, I was lucky to be home from thousand miles of strange world. It was getting dark, yet the path was same upon which i had traversed for millions of time. Splashing water with my feet felt much better than those ruffled feet in white snow. Eyes were sparkling with those few lamp shades hanging outside the houses, could hear the cries of infants asking for food, smoke coming out of the chimneys in kitchen making my eyes sparkle even more, thinking about the days where this smoke was hard to see after eating dozens of plates of burgers.

I missed these long prayers, which i heard early in morning. Cushioning the pillow over the face to avoid the voices made me think of the days where there was no one to fulfill my longings to hear some unwanted voices. Alarms were ringing, could hear the chatters of my cousins getting ready for school, milkman banging the door despite telling him the door-bell hanging on the right side. Life was getting back to normal, and i got up. Looking out of the window, through the white lifeless snow made me realized, it was just a dream !!!

Happy Independence day

Sixty three years of independence has brought so many changes in our system, marked are so many winning occasions tailed with few forgettable moments too. Surpassing one billion mark on its population front, India is still facing major issues like energy, power and infrastructure.

Being a Socialist country, first comes the welfare of society before an individual's. This very logic of putting society's welfare before individuals is causing most of the trouble in its path for a developed nation. A very few readers are accustomed to read such posts of mine, but every word shall be free from the dirt of politics. I defy politics because it ruins the individuality of a person, the one who puts his heart to take this system to a higher level has to pass through the dirty lane of politics, and none has ever come out of it clean.

Taj Mahal is famous all across the globe. People all across the world comes to visit and if you ever have a chance, you must have noticed the disparity in the entry fees for a foreign guy and a local lad. A traveler ends up paying more than one thousand rupees to see the fascinating beauty and an Indian enters its premises for a bare minimum attempting to pluck two or three flowers from a prohibited park. Why is this disparity? Some may agree with the notion that it could help to earn more revenues which can be utilized for the development of our country. Charging an entry fees hundred times more from a foreigner is considered as an act of welfare for our country.

And if cab driver charges twice the actual amount, he is declared a rogue.. These are double standards prevailing all over the India. For the name of society, even the theft of money from a foreigner is justified.

The global market

A dungeon cell confined in the webs of spider. Packed sweets piled upon in layers spread over the front row of table. Bees could be seen humming through the transparent glass beneath the shelf, catching the aroma of sweet dishes kept in the glass shelf.

I laid an eye over the sweet shop round the corner while returning from my office. Walking through the straight road, it had become an act of deliberate ignorance to notice this hub of bees. An elderly woman in her mid-fifties could be seen, trying to wipe out the undesirable flock from her freshly made sweets. No passerby had ever shown a bit of interest in her products, still she pulled up the shutters at sharp 7th hour of clock in the morning. A child, laid in his racked clothes, clinging to the rotten walls of shop whose future seems confined to these four murky corners. Fan circulating the hot humid air across every direction showing no signs of respite under this scorching heat. Least bothered about the customers, mind bogged down shouldering the responsibilities of young minds and dreaming in leisure one day her child would get placed in Boston Consulting group (BCG). The road bore a deserted look as the sun was shedding under the thick clouds hovering over the west, walls stood numb hearing peacefully the echos played upon by the chirping of birds. In the meantime, she could hear the footsteps stepping over the cemented pathway the lucky ones were rushing to home after a long day at office. Miles to cover, hours to work before she could call it a day. As soon as the rays of sun ceased to reach her shop, coloured light filled up the entire room with light burning in yellow tinge gazing through the asymmetric steps of street.

Mapping my steps over the trodden pathway, I glanced over the shop with little interest. Sweets packets were still untouched, wrapped in red glitter paper with a hanging price tag Rs 60/Kg. The mystery of this global market was still unwary of the gullible world..

I want to fly ..

Only page where i fits in so comfortably is my Blog. The reason still flutters across my mind, which has started showing signs of impatience.

Yesterday, metro seemed missing those standing legs, light shimmering from those thick glasses of metro. Sitting alone, bag resting upon another seat, mind was rendering restlessly over the future and fingers sputtering over the pages of novel. Future holds so many promises for me, I am pretty optimistic, I am God's special one. These hovering clouds shall be scattered very soon, breaking the jinx and sprouting out the seeds of one whole new world for me.

This metro runs the same track everyday, I can't run on it forever. The hissing sound of metro may never cease, but my breaths would surely one day. It creates a chaos everywhere if it doesn't turn up and I shall leave it so peacefully that no one would bother to spare a thought for me. Anxious eyes looks down upon the wrist watch, ticking of heart grows faster with every minute of delay. This mammoth seems lucky itself, God has made it to fit in just one role.

My dreams are beckoning me, holding aloof the torch of dignity. They give meaning to meaningless, makes a sense in Utopian world, holds the charm till eternity. I look over the plain endless blue sky, these birds remind me of my goals visible yet so far. These birds are capricious dreams, keeps drifting as you wander across the globe. And most beautiful ones are the farthest ones.

Lord, give me the strength to fly..I want to fly !!

Joy in life !!

Yeah..One more year came and went past silently. Silently hissing down turning pages of life, one more year went past. This year, twenty third year of life taught me something which i couldn't grasp in last 22 years. This human nature is very predictable even under unpredictable situations. Never thought would ever be so ambitious in my life, as i am now. Hope and despair defined the whole world for me and i, maintained a steady pace running between these two extreme poles of human nature. Never ran so frantically as ever as i did; never lost was the goal of my life; never let myself so exposed to bitter realities of life, yet life hopes to stay hopeful..

Never met a person in my whole life, who could unveil the simplicity hidden beyond this complex life. Money kept rolling over the floors of geeks and under the tables of maligned minds. Love kept changing hearts falling over the swaying walk of one and bubbling with dimples of another but was never found in a solace corner of your room. Hard work kept me crawling through the rough trodden lanes, which never lead me to success or wisdom, rather were locked in a soft corner of my heart shackled in the reins of ambitions..of others..

As per the Greek mythology, every one's soul will be asked to confess two things before the almighty to seek a place in heaven.

You ever found joy in your life?

....You ever brought joy to someone else's life??

Heart shrugs it with a big hook, but truth is inevitable. None can bound it in spell of words. A single glitter in the crown of life, everyone running for it with blindfolded eyes, wrapped under the black cloth of materialistic pleasures of earth.

Oh god, made me sound and strong, that this creature of yours will never feel regretful facing you at doors of heaven...

Mannered life..

Is it really worth asking?

Time keeps nothing in its pocket. Things keep changing, people too. Once those clean palms, are now greased up. Those tireless legs are shaking in fear, forehead could sense the droplets of disgust running through the mind, heart ceasing to face the openness of this world. World seems confined to my place. These four blocks could deter the rays of settling sun or beaming moon, but not my thoughts.

"Which team won NBA finals last year?", asked a paper. I pondered over it for few minutes, recalling names of big leagues and shot it back at earliest. May be a year or two from now, I shall not recall the big, golden names. I may not recall the players who tamed fame, those names and fame may wipe out from memory; but shall never hesitate to narrate the ephemeral joys of childhood. Shall never fade those faces of friends, which made this world beautiful. Old lived names of them could bring a joyous smile on my face. The glories of world wars may diminish, but never the scars over the fight with my best friend.

Then why do we run after fame or money? We leave this peaceful and beautiful world, left the bunch of old good friends, left those protective shades of home; for whom? These thoughts persisted in my mind throughout the journey.

Been stuck in this baffled league pooh-poohing over the notorious manners of living, life seems no better than a Mercedes Benz.

A banner said : You can't tame this engine, but we have taught it some manners !!

Last four months introduced me to an exemplary personality. Though i have got tons to write; may it be my ever-going struggle for higher education or for achieving my dreams.

Everything will fall in its place at right time.

This page, seems strange, the same page which had supported me in all my times, mingling of words, power of explanations, endless interpretations of life, those days of joy and humming nights..nothing is lost !!

I shall write again..with all my heart !!

Worthiness of life..

Why life has stop turning itself to red? It is running like a mad bull. A bull who cares for none, an epitome of self-marked excellence, yet a worthless effort. I don't want to comment much, just that this life is adorable only when it is worth giving happiness on a sad face. This life is worth living if it makes someone else live too.

Life is worth laughing out loud sitting on those empty desks after the lecture, not trying to grasp every word slammed out of professor's mouth in the lecture. Life is worth going home with a gleeful face after scoring 75 percent in boards, rather then complaining dad that i got one mark wrong in physics. Life is all about happiness, not the possession of your self-marked goals. That feeling of contentment is worth living which comes to a rickshaw puller while seeing his child going to school. A workaholic's life gathers no worth piling up american dollars in a swiss bank. One needs to understand this broad-term called life. It is not a tissue kissing up the feet of those who climb up the ladder of success, it adores the one who keep smiling while falling down from the heights.

I have yet to learn this life. Still busy going to office because that one day salary is too hard for me to lose it now !!

An old one..

Metro still runs at the same pace exhibiting the same creeping noise under the same sultry sun ears sticking to the mobile hearing the sweet chirps resonating from bus no 680.

The great LIFE never ends here.

It goes on forever, to the ever rising aspirations, soaring temptations, mounting expectations, creating new hopes, forgetting the older ones, the old corroded relations too, experiencing new highs, sharing the better lows of others, holding up the torch, to live up to my own identity, making hay with every break of dawn, making a hissy stop with settling down of dusk, mind still renders, it never stops..

Life never ends here, it goes on forever..