Contentment part-2

I talked about contentment in my last post about how i, as a kid, was more-or-less content with my life. I wouldn't say i had all the luxuries at my expense, but my parents gave me enough to make me feel fortunate. When i would see someone's parents working so hard as rickshaw-pullers or bus drivers, it made me realize the importance of every penny my parents had spent on me. Studying in a normal school (and not in convent) opened me up to all corners of world. Some kids from those corners where dogs were fed the cooked meat  at the weekend parties - while some from those corners where people ate the leftovers. When I would see kids sittings besides me wearing worn-out shoes, how in world could i muster the courage to ask my parents to get me a new pair of shoes simply because i'm fed up of wearing these for two months. I might muster the courage to ask my parents for another pair of shoes, and i might get one too. But my conscience would have felt ashamed next day sitting right next to that boy who still seemed happy in his old shoes.

As we grow up, these short stories get lost in this race to achieve some short-sighted goals of life. Once in a while, these memories would cross your mind when you see some kid walking down on road with bare feet under scorching sun. These memories would make you forget your worries to fix your car's AC or looking for a better apartment. But this moment doesn't last long. You forget all those faces of kids who once were your companions in school, but couldn't make it to an expensive college like yours. You might boast to snatch the credit by giving excuses of putting so many years of hard work, but deep down in your heart you also knew that those faces were more than capable of achieving what you have achieved in your life so far. Not pointing fingers towards anyone, i myself have forgotten so many faces which got lost in this race. I still vividly remember one such face, and i can say with all my belief that he would have got miles ahead of me in this race, had he gotten the luck with which i came into this world.

Such feelings make me realize the importance of everything i possess in my life. It makes me feel satisfied with whatever i possess. When i go to sleep at night, sometimes i smile and feel happier about the smallest of tasks which i completed that day. These small moments bring the joys of life which sometimes grand achievement fail to do..

My frame

Many times we come across people in buses or trains generalizing the mindset of society in one liners like - We, Indians, can never be honest in dealing financial matters. It may be true or may not be so, but i'm not going to judge people or our society here. Been here in US for more than four years now, I've come across this question many times. For instance, once my fellow traveler while coming to India said something like 'As soon as you reach Asia, you find noisy people boarding planes and creating chaos everywhere'. I didn't react to his sudden outburst, but passed a smile. As an Asian myself (not sure what exactly is the criteria for being called an Asian, and for how long can i continue to be one of them), i was in agreement that Asian people posses less patience compared to their western fellows. But this perception is also confined to only what i've experienced so far at airports. Neither am i an avid traveler nor a visionary that one should believe what i perceive as right or wrong in my frame of world.

But then question arises - Is it really so? And if yes, why is it so?

One fine morning i was walking down my hotel's elevator in New York. I was in a hurry for a meeting at one of our client's office which was ten blocks away from my hotel. As i came out of my elevator, an old lady was standing besides the door carrying a heavy suitcase. Before she could move her feet to get near it, people around her rushed into the elevator and there was no space for her again. Next elevator came to a halt. One pack exited and another entered the elevator with same intensity and she was standing still at her place. I approached her to ask if i could lend her a helping hand to which she graciously agreed.

Due to this incident, i got late for my scheduled appointment. But the contentment of helping someone took over the little disappointment caused by being late. The same question arises- Do Asians posses less patience than their western counterparts? Not really in this frame of world.

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Update May 15th

The intent for the above writing was to showcase that people are same all around the world with some differences in terms of culture, race, religion, habits - But when it comes to survival, all react in same manner. We all will do what we deem is beneficial for us. Then we think of our loved ones, and then society. One can't compare the skills or habits of two persons who have been brought up in two different worlds all together. This is a great shame that it still occurs so commonly in this world. So, next time you're about to make a judgement on a person based upon his/her looks, clothes or color- think twice. 

A call from Chandigarh

The slow instrumental national anthem started playing with the blinking red LED, the calling number, though unexpected, was quite familiar with the initial code of 0172 (Chandigarh's STD code). I was surrounded with two lab mates, both Americans, so i didn't show even a little hesitation in answering the call as the next some talks would be either in hindi or punjabi language. From the other side came a swift "Hello (with that accented sign of exclamation after it), I am John calling from Credit union bank to serve you in a better way." I was moved by the unexpected tone, i pushed my chair a bit towards the window pane the leaves were fresh after the last night's rain, reminding me of beautiful weather of Chandigarh. Next few minutes went talking just like conversing to some monotonous machine. I randomly asked if he could mail me the statements for past week. He nodded affirmative before putting my call on hold to grab a pencil to note down the email id. "Oye pencil sutt de idhar ek, Sir, would you mind repeating your mail id again", said in a single tone and i was mesmerized. I asked," bhaji mil gayi pencil ?". There was a reason to laugh for both of us.

The race of the wisest species

The life has certainly taken a leap forward, from those muddy roads to clean paved paths, a place where every second counts and punctuality is the new motto of life. From a place of saints and humans, to the new world of machines. Machines are directed to behave politely, neither they ever cheat nor they are corrupted.

Life is smooth, as smooth as the melting butter over a hot non-sticky pan. The day i came here and now, looking past in these five months fills me with little optimism but more of regression. During all these different years, i had learnt one thing. That phase when you tried with the best of your will, with the grit, that phase which was most gruesome yet you never said no to your efforts, that phase when hope was replaced with despair and light was taken its place with darkness of failure yet you were hopeful for the sunny days, that was the finest hour of my life. The reason i believe in it is because those efforts in unyielding circumstances brings the best out of you. The glorious moments are the result of many painful and struggling nights. This one motto kept me alive during all those long nights, that one day the sun would be brighter than my little success and my friends and family would bask in the sun of happiness. This part of my glory is called happiness, not few pennies of money nor a lavish golf course. A company of few closed ones and an excuse to be happy. It may not last so long before the next task, but such excuses keeps you moving in this long and everlasting run. Last five months, as i expected them to be the most enduring, the months when i would have tried real hard yet they were none. The life is smooth and as smooth as it was five months ago.

I came here filled with some sense of responsibility towards my family, for some promises i made leaving the land where i had my most cherished memories. A new land where every face speaks a unique tongue, every eye sparkles with a unique glitter and midst all of them was me. That starting of year was also unique, sitting in the plane looking through the aisle window for those unreachable stars. The time will remain same, just like after every night the credibility of shining sun. I convinced my heart that either that motto will come handy for the coming next two years or it will be the result of enduring efforts i put in during some finest past years. I was never sure of the upcoming surprises in this new year, but this coming year had already taken from me some of the most precious moments of my life. It had already taken back those eventful journeys back to my home for which i had always looked with utmost anxiousness. It had already taken back those beautiful mornings spend going to the office in metro and looking at all those so-familiar faces everytime. It had already taken back so much from me that one day i would complain you the lord about all my grief, unless my dreams would be fulfilled. Those dreams which sure would be more eventful than those journeys, the dreams more beautiful than those rush-hour morning. The truth of the moment lies in the fact that neither those eventful journeys nor the beautiful mornings will ever come, time once gone will never come back. Nobody has ever got hold over this mischievous running time. When the eventful journeys and mornings were there, I always asked the lord for more. I asked for the change, or in true words i craved for the change yet always enjoyed my life to the fullest; when gifted with the change i always asked for, it filled me with uncertainty. I was reluctant to take this one more step into the new world and bring one more reason to smile for me and my loved ones.

Either god has made this wisest species of human beings so foolish or is it just me?

English language

In scorching heat of summers, auto rickshaw driver was even more intolerable. Paving his path slowly and steadily, it used to take him forty five minutes to cover ten miles. and i used to imitate my English teacher, opening up my course book rhyming in a loud tone. Sometimes found the words too tough to grasp, and many times just skipping it ignoring the fact of my poor vocabulary.

Those were the momentous times when i used to adore this language english more than anything else on this diversified world. Imitating my English teacher, hoping that one day i would be able to speak in such a lucid manner. Repeating it for hours, imagining how life would be conversing with each other in English language. I used to imagine that even sobering in front of class, mumbling bad words in English felt so good. Ask for anything, may it be for lunch or for an extra pile of bread; this world seemed perfect to me painted in English. Such was the euphoria for this language, tried many times to understand some English song but failed (I never pushed too hard to get the lyrics might be the reason). My crush for this language went berserk in 8th grade, when my English teacher came and his grammatically pure english made him my role model. Eyes twinkled to see him talking in english, it felt this person had the pleasure of life in his tales of English novels and books.

The college came and gave me the much awaited chance and the exotic platform to connect to fellow bloggers, explore this outer world through the medium, best suited for me . I felt envious reading and learning their heart-throbbing skills of written English, which still continues even till now; I do feel that magical touch in blogs. I read every line and try to conceive the revolving, ever changing meanings of words in numerous ways. Alas !! the craze has diminished; since talking and writing all day in this once-a-dream language has taken apart that feeling which nurtured for so many years reading one of the best phrases ever written in English. One may like or doesn't like my posts, unmoved from all the critics, I enjoy reading and writing (and now of course conversing) in this language.

the awakening dream..

I called my younger brother in a huskiness tone to put the cycle off the stand, so that we can go to temple. In the meantime, i put those two small aluminum wrapped paranthas in my jeans pockets and started running towards the outer gate. The weather couldn't be better, with minute particles of dust dancing in the settling light of sun, eyes trying to focus on ground envying the brightness of sun. Same street patterned in most haphazard manner with bricks pointing out of the plane, yet the tires of the cycle refrain ourselves from the bumps. I had already put enough food in my pockets yet was little gleeful about the hanging packet with some sweets over the handle of cycle. I never wanted to eat more pizzas, vegetable rice had replaced water from its place (consuming more rice than water in a day); never wanted to get away with chance of eating home cooked food.

Driving through the mud slopes of open road, noise of peddles tearing the greased hook of chain and we reached the temple. It felt god has given me one more chance to cherish these wonderful summers of my childhood. Watching the water pumping out from the big nozzle of tap, reserved in a pond and it was more clear and serene than my soul ever was. Dipping my feet into the pond brought respite to my scratched mind, much required at the moment. Even the water felt so sweet, much sweeter than what i used there in a far-away land. In short, I was lucky to be home from thousand miles of strange world. It was getting dark, yet the path was same upon which i had traversed for millions of time. Splashing water with my feet felt much better than those ruffled feet in white snow. Eyes were sparkling with those few lamp shades hanging outside the houses, could hear the cries of infants asking for food, smoke coming out of the chimneys in kitchen making my eyes sparkle even more, thinking about the days where this smoke was hard to see after eating dozens of plates of burgers.

I missed these long prayers, which i heard early in morning. Cushioning the pillow over the face to avoid the voices made me think of the days where there was no one to fulfill my longings to hear some unwanted voices. Alarms were ringing, could hear the chatters of my cousins getting ready for school, milkman banging the door despite telling him the door-bell hanging on the right side. Life was getting back to normal, and i got up. Looking out of the window, through the white lifeless snow made me realized, it was just a dream !!!

Happy Independence day

Sixty three years of independence has brought so many changes in our system, marked are so many winning occasions tailed with few forgettable moments too. Surpassing one billion mark on its population front, India is still facing major issues like energy, power and infrastructure.

Being a Socialist country, first comes the welfare of society before an individual's. This very logic of putting society's welfare before individuals is causing most of the trouble in its path for a developed nation. A very few readers are accustomed to read such posts of mine, but every word shall be free from the dirt of politics. I defy politics because it ruins the individuality of a person, the one who puts his heart to take this system to a higher level has to pass through the dirty lane of politics, and none has ever come out of it clean.

Taj Mahal is famous all across the globe. People all across the world comes to visit and if you ever have a chance, you must have noticed the disparity in the entry fees for a foreign guy and a local lad. A traveler ends up paying more than one thousand rupees to see the fascinating beauty and an Indian enters its premises for a bare minimum attempting to pluck two or three flowers from a prohibited park. Why is this disparity? Some may agree with the notion that it could help to earn more revenues which can be utilized for the development of our country. Charging an entry fees hundred times more from a foreigner is considered as an act of welfare for our country.

And if cab driver charges twice the actual amount, he is declared a rogue.. These are double standards prevailing all over the India. For the name of society, even the theft of money from a foreigner is justified.

The global market

A dungeon cell confined in the webs of spider. Packed sweets piled upon in layers spread over the front row of table. Bees could be seen humming through the transparent glass beneath the shelf, catching the aroma of sweet dishes kept in the glass shelf.

I laid an eye over the sweet shop round the corner while returning from my office. Walking through the straight road, it had become an act of deliberate ignorance to notice this hub of bees. An elderly woman in her mid-fifties could be seen, trying to wipe out the undesirable flock from her freshly made sweets. No passerby had ever shown a bit of interest in her products, still she pulled up the shutters at sharp 7th hour of clock in the morning. A child, laid in his racked clothes, clinging to the rotten walls of shop whose future seems confined to these four murky corners. Fan circulating the hot humid air across every direction showing no signs of respite under this scorching heat. Least bothered about the customers, mind bogged down shouldering the responsibilities of young minds and dreaming in leisure one day her child would get placed in Boston Consulting group (BCG). The road bore a deserted look as the sun was shedding under the thick clouds hovering over the west, walls stood numb hearing peacefully the echos played upon by the chirping of birds. In the meantime, she could hear the footsteps stepping over the cemented pathway the lucky ones were rushing to home after a long day at office. Miles to cover, hours to work before she could call it a day. As soon as the rays of sun ceased to reach her shop, coloured light filled up the entire room with light burning in yellow tinge gazing through the asymmetric steps of street.

Mapping my steps over the trodden pathway, I glanced over the shop with little interest. Sweets packets were still untouched, wrapped in red glitter paper with a hanging price tag Rs 60/Kg. The mystery of this global market was still unwary of the gullible world..

I want to fly ..

Only page where i fits in so comfortably is my Blog. The reason still flutters across my mind, which has started showing signs of impatience.

Yesterday, metro seemed missing those standing legs, light shimmering from those thick glasses of metro. Sitting alone, bag resting upon another seat, mind was rendering restlessly over the future and fingers sputtering over the pages of novel. Future holds so many promises for me, I am pretty optimistic, I am God's special one. These hovering clouds shall be scattered very soon, breaking the jinx and sprouting out the seeds of one whole new world for me.

This metro runs the same track everyday, I can't run on it forever. The hissing sound of metro may never cease, but my breaths would surely one day. It creates a chaos everywhere if it doesn't turn up and I shall leave it so peacefully that no one would bother to spare a thought for me. Anxious eyes looks down upon the wrist watch, ticking of heart grows faster with every minute of delay. This mammoth seems lucky itself, God has made it to fit in just one role.

My dreams are beckoning me, holding aloof the torch of dignity. They give meaning to meaningless, makes a sense in Utopian world, holds the charm till eternity. I look over the plain endless blue sky, these birds remind me of my goals visible yet so far. These birds are capricious dreams, keeps drifting as you wander across the globe. And most beautiful ones are the farthest ones.

Lord, give me the strength to fly..I want to fly !!

Joy in life !!

Yeah..One more year came and went past silently. Silently hissing down turning pages of life, one more year went past. This year, twenty third year of life taught me something which i couldn't grasp in last 22 years. This human nature is very predictable even under unpredictable situations. Never thought would ever be so ambitious in my life, as i am now. Hope and despair defined the whole world for me and i, maintained a steady pace running between these two extreme poles of human nature. Never ran so frantically as ever as i did; never lost was the goal of my life; never let myself so exposed to bitter realities of life, yet life hopes to stay hopeful..

Never met a person in my whole life, who could unveil the simplicity hidden beyond this complex life. Money kept rolling over the floors of geeks and under the tables of maligned minds. Love kept changing hearts falling over the swaying walk of one and bubbling with dimples of another but was never found in a solace corner of your room. Hard work kept me crawling through the rough trodden lanes, which never lead me to success or wisdom, rather were locked in a soft corner of my heart shackled in the reins of ambitions..of others..

As per the Greek mythology, every one's soul will be asked to confess two things before the almighty to seek a place in heaven.

You ever found joy in your life?

....You ever brought joy to someone else's life??

Heart shrugs it with a big hook, but truth is inevitable. None can bound it in spell of words. A single glitter in the crown of life, everyone running for it with blindfolded eyes, wrapped under the black cloth of materialistic pleasures of earth.

Oh god, made me sound and strong, that this creature of yours will never feel regretful facing you at doors of heaven...

Mannered life..

Is it really worth asking?

Time keeps nothing in its pocket. Things keep changing, people too. Once those clean palms, are now greased up. Those tireless legs are shaking in fear, forehead could sense the droplets of disgust running through the mind, heart ceasing to face the openness of this world. World seems confined to my place. These four blocks could deter the rays of settling sun or beaming moon, but not my thoughts.

"Which team won NBA finals last year?", asked a paper. I pondered over it for few minutes, recalling names of big leagues and shot it back at earliest. May be a year or two from now, I shall not recall the big, golden names. I may not recall the players who tamed fame, those names and fame may wipe out from memory; but shall never hesitate to narrate the ephemeral joys of childhood. Shall never fade those faces of friends, which made this world beautiful. Old lived names of them could bring a joyous smile on my face. The glories of world wars may diminish, but never the scars over the fight with my best friend.

Then why do we run after fame or money? We leave this peaceful and beautiful world, left the bunch of old good friends, left those protective shades of home; for whom? These thoughts persisted in my mind throughout the journey.

Been stuck in this baffled league pooh-poohing over the notorious manners of living, life seems no better than a Mercedes Benz.

A banner said : You can't tame this engine, but we have taught it some manners !!

Last four months introduced me to an exemplary personality. Though i have got tons to write; may it be my ever-going struggle for higher education or for achieving my dreams.

Everything will fall in its place at right time.

This page, seems strange, the same page which had supported me in all my times, mingling of words, power of explanations, endless interpretations of life, those days of joy and humming nights..nothing is lost !!

I shall write again..with all my heart !!

Worthiness of life..

Why life has stop turning itself to red? It is running like a mad bull. A bull who cares for none, an epitome of self-marked excellence, yet a worthless effort. I don't want to comment much, just that this life is adorable only when it is worth giving happiness on a sad face. This life is worth living if it makes someone else live too.

Life is worth laughing out loud sitting on those empty desks after the lecture, not trying to grasp every word slammed out of professor's mouth in the lecture. Life is worth going home with a gleeful face after scoring 75 percent in boards, rather then complaining dad that i got one mark wrong in physics. Life is all about happiness, not the possession of your self-marked goals. That feeling of contentment is worth living which comes to a rickshaw puller while seeing his child going to school. A workaholic's life gathers no worth piling up american dollars in a swiss bank. One needs to understand this broad-term called life. It is not a tissue kissing up the feet of those who climb up the ladder of success, it adores the one who keep smiling while falling down from the heights.

I have yet to learn this life. Still busy going to office because that one day salary is too hard for me to lose it now !!

An old one..

Metro still runs at the same pace exhibiting the same creeping noise under the same sultry sun ears sticking to the mobile hearing the sweet chirps resonating from bus no 680.

The great LIFE never ends here.

It goes on forever, to the ever rising aspirations, soaring temptations, mounting expectations, creating new hopes, forgetting the older ones, the old corroded relations too, experiencing new highs, sharing the better lows of others, holding up the torch, to live up to my own identity, making hay with every break of dawn, making a hissy stop with settling down of dusk, mind still renders, it never stops..

Life never ends here, it goes on forever..

August 15,2009

03:40 AM

Spilling my chilled drink over the floor from my over-flown mug, twisting the tongue munching the spicy palak-paneer, enjoying the cool breeze over the terrace, bare feet smashing the fresh droplets of water falling from sky, heart dancing over the favourite beats being played over my machine, mind still lost in its silent wanderings, hands plucked in the pockets of jeans to avoid the unlike shiver in the drizzle, life saying it loud:

Happy Independence Day !!

being Aseem Rambani !!

So, what’s new in being Aseem Rambani?

Last Sunday, came back to my place quite late from gurgaon. There’s nothing special in gurgaon, just two of my best friends resides there, so time just flies away at weekend. Rather not just two, more than 30 friends are working in gurgaon in different firms at different scales.

Me, I am Aseem Rambani. I work for six days in my office and seventh day I keep myself happy so that I can retain the pressure for next six days in my office. It’s pretty hectic in my office, don’t know whether it’s really hectic or I just feel so. My team manager always keeps saying you are young and most efficient in my team, you can’t ever be tired. He pumps me so much that even knowing he is making fool of me; I just trace back the steps to my cabin. But I like my team manager; he’s supportive, very supportive to me. One colleague of mine is very jealous of me in office, because in his opinion I consider him a fool. But actually he’s right; I do consider him a fool for his non-sense talks. I should not say bad things about others, else I’ll become like them only. I should look for good deeds of others. My colleague is nice to me in a way, that he always take care of my responsibilities while I am not in office. For last two months, I haven’t taken even a single half day. But soon those days will come too. Rest I don’t like to talk much about my office, office is good. I like working in my office, because then I can fulfil my dreams by earning more money. In last 22 years of my life, I have learnt just one thing; money can get you anything, sometimes even happiness too. It’s a pity!!

Yesterday while I was coming back from office. Oh, yesterday was very hectic, and I’m sure my manager too would agree with me. In morning, I went to noida or rather it was near noida. I don’t know about Delhi nor even about Amritsar, do I just know the roads in my village. My village is beautiful. It is made in a squared land, surrounded by waters from two sides and one side is connected to main road which connects Amritsar with tarn taran. Hence whenever I’ve to post a letter at my home, address always includes tarn taran road, district Amritsar. Don’t deviate, I was hurriedly making way in a beautiful four lane road near noida; I could see the brands flashing over the top of some mall. I just ignored and kept moving towards my office there. A power transformer was damaged tripping all the major circuits i.e buchholz relay, differential relay, OSR, PRV, OLTC tripping (I forgot the name of OLTC tripping). Ooops, none of you are acquainted to a power transformer. Your mobile phone charger also has a tiny transformer in it and power transformer is of size equal to a normal room and twenty feet in height. It is very essential for our life, else our mobile phones can’t get charged and our life would come to a halt.

Yes, just four days ago, I got a new Samsung mobile. It’s not new, it’s a used one but I really like it. I was fed up using the nokia, though I know nokia is better. My nokia mobile was very complex with a memory card, can click pictures, recording and it was facilitated with a bluetooth device also. In college, I so wanted to have an expensive mobile, but I used a very basic model of nokia. But it was very special for me in those days. So, I dumped this complicated nokia and got that simple Samsung handset, which have got just four wallpapers to choose and out of those, three are of gods. So I chose the fourth one. There’s nothing to explore, not even camera, no bluetooth, no memory, so I am very happy keeping it in my jean’s pocket all day.

Yesterday, after inspecting that power transformer, I had a seminar for a fresher’s batch. These new recruits know nothing about the work culture, yet they apprehend as if all employees are foolish working here and just they have got the mind because they are fresh from college. They kept irritating me with their weird questions, but I was also sure not to let down the image of me being amongst the most eligible team of my firm. So I screwed them up soon before finishing the lecture and I was carrying that smile while leaving the seminar hall.

Came back to same power transformer in evening to get the test results, but I was totally clueless why everyone was raising the eye brows over the high levels of acetylene gas in insulation oil. Later my manager cleared all my doubts and I was happy that I learnt a new thing. I came back to my place when the sun had settled down and ate a burger at Mahesh burger shop. It’s very famous and he gives one burger for just seven rupees. But I like it, so I ignore the fact it may not be hygienic. He complained me that due to hike in prices of kerosene, he’s facing a severe loss in this burger business. But I was not much moved over his concern, living at such a fast pace I ignore all the simplicities of life. I even write my blogs in such a weird manner, but I love my writing. I would love to see this post on my blog; this is free of all complications. Isn’t it so simple to read?

But mostly people don’t like simple things. One is always intrigued by an intelligent fellow, who thinks twice before speaking and who gives weird answer to look different from the flock. Why one never likes a rickshaw ride, because he’s a simple man, doesn’t ask you so many queries and drops you at your desired location. But we get so excited meeting a Harvard graduate, because he can answer in his own complicated ways, we may not understand a bit, but we’ll praise one for his intelligence. Non sense!!

Life looks great being a simple one, but we don’t have time to lead this simpler form of life. Even I can’t. I am not blaming anyone; I myself am getting complicated with each passing day. At least I am happy removing two complex things from my life, that weird English diction and that complicated bulky nokia handset.

I wanted to post this blog yesterday to wish all my friends a very happy wala friendship day. Guess what I am writing this post on my laptop listening to my favourite singer Babbu maan’s song:

“ Mehfil mitran di sajdi roz chubaare,
Botlaan de dakk khul gaye,
Tera jikar hoya muteyare” ...

My first day in College !!

Around half past seven in morning, August 2004 :

The trodden ways to lecturer blocks were still fresh after being washed out in last night strong winds and pouring rains. The nostalgic smell of fresh dew drops falling down through the pores of green leaves reminded me of my home. That morning was not an usual one in many unusual ways. Eyes were still creeping with the clear beams of sun penetrating into the eyes making it feel the uneasiness. Eyes were still numb after resting for whole night in a secluded room of hostel -C. Last night was my first, first in every term that I had spent away from home. Hostel C seemed no more less than a haunted place at its first look. Three storied building up the ladder encircling a rectangular park in each block (even the image had faded from my mind), but not the memories.

That night too was scary, water making the harrowed noises spattering over the window panes of my room, as if someone creeping under the door. Doors were banging hard with the strong gushes of wind making the creek noises, yet I was happy to be away from home. To enter this new world, to enter the professional phase of life, under the open sky no more under the umbrella of my loved ones protecting me from the harsh rays of life. The sky was flung open that day, with the limitless scope of exploring it, carrying the responsibilities on my own shoulders for my every deed done by me. The feelings of being on my own feet, of being a little bit stronger were sprouting in my inner self.

With all the fresh faces, i hurriedly made way to find my classroom. F 201 was the allotted class for Solid mechanics subject. We were four guys running from our hostel to find F block, all new to each other, yet the similarity of being new brought us a feeling of togetherness. Galloping through the cafeteria, B block, E block and then F block ( I wish all these pleasant routes had been known to me then). None of us knew each other's names, just shared that 2 km stretch from our hostel to the campus. I admit, admit it profusely it was scary, my heart stopped beating for an instant to see the lecture hall packed with 125 students. All faces were new, each having cleared the entrance test, felt as if i had made it here for the last seat in this college. It was heart rendering to see those intelligent brains fitting the spectacles over the nose, mind focusing on board while hands making the wise move on the copied notes. Heart said, " Life is going to be hard here pressing every limit for raising the performance by every inch ". Entered the Most notified professor of Civil Engineering department, Dr. Maneek Kumar, the Head of Dept for the course of Solid mechanics. He was an eminent personality, a young man in his early thirties known for his NASA's project. He didn't give us, or rather me a hard time as I had known the professors for doing so. The 1 hour lecture ended soon, much before the time i expected it, hence showing positive signs. Rest i can't recall much, just few fake instances of joy of being independent, of being more courageous, being able to strive forward facing all those forgone difficult phases, life seemed all tumbled up, a fresh lease of life, everlasting like the pearl floating over the bedrock of sea.

That day, life promised me to be more challenging, to be thought-provoking, living it on the edge, striving for every ounce of marks,

and mind you, life fulfilled all promises made in those four years of my life !!

Four years in one hour..

Yes, never expected to see him. That too at a time, when required most (i guess).

One hour earlier:

Sitting at a coffee bar in outer circle, Connaught Place, a disgruntled feeling was seizing my heart as if losing someone without whom life would be tough to live. Somehow unwillingly, convincing my mellow stupid heart defying my feelings, I left the place for railway station.

Presently looking at the entrance of station with virtually closed mind, expecting no one to see me no one to catch me amidst this storm, yet i saw the unforgettable face of my friend. I doubt I ever considered him my friend, he was unarguably the best guy during the four years of my graduation. In no time, i hugged him from behind as if letting the jaws of happiness to swallow me inside the sea of it. That face made me forget the sorrows for a moment, made me forget the hovering tensions of this complex race for superiority.

In one word, I was HAPPY. We glued to our best talks, shared the new things exploring the new life, getting insight into each other's world. I used to ate all his special biscuits during exam days, stealing from his locked cupboard, just to hide the wicked smile next day opening the empty box in front of him. It used to be the best moment and I once again expecting the same from his bag, opened it up plucking the things haphazardly to find few broken pieces of those special biscuits lying at the bottom of stock.

Tears were hard to control, but guys are made to look hard and tough. Hearts made with the sewing steel veins, blood sucking the emotions out of it into the ruthless world, guys are looked over as the hard nuts. I was never an exception in this cat-walk, simply hiding my emotions with a ruthless sneering smile yet eyes betraying the heart. I loved that one hour meet. Thanks the heavens and Indian railways, I cherished every beloved moment of my four best years in that one hour meet.

And I left for my home, my own home where everybody is just mine :)

Next day, Missing that coffee bar the least, I was playing with my little cousin under the blue roof of endless heaven, as if reciprocating my happiness into the abundance of sky !!

Many things are on the rolls of my pen, trying to wobble out very soon.

Many many things. Yesterday sipping coffee at CCD in Connaught Place and at same time today, playing in lush green gardens of my home in an endless space.

Things keep changing and i let myself explore the hidden me. Next two months shall bring a new merged personality of this same boring Aseem.

With fingers crossed !!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

An excerpt from my friend's dairy :

Friends are important to us. Everyone is incomplete without them. We need our friends at every stage of our life. When we were small, even at that time friends were important to us. Some had pals, some had pets, some of us even had imaginary friends. Sometimes Barbie’s, teddies and other stuff toys became our friends. During that stage, friends shared sweet, innocent, selfless talks. They had no selfish means for making friends. They just make friends to play, talk, share their innocent secrets and share their dreams.

As we grow into our teens, some of our old friends were left behind. We made some new ones. At this point, friendship has an entirely different meaning. It is not just about talking, sharing secrets or sharing dreams, it’s about understanding each other, helping each other during the time of trouble and depending on each other.

But my mind keeps wondering who are “Friends” and what is “Friendship”. I keep thinking about it, but never reach to a satisfactory answer.

Friends are people who like us in spite of our faults and who listen to us and tell us the truth.

They make you believe that there really is good in the world.

They convince you that there is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

They get you through the hard times, the sad times, the confused times.

They hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay.

They laugh with you and share your grief.

Friends support your decisions and tell you when we're foolish.

They are companions and share your interests.

They argue with you when you are wrong.

They are the people with one is not afraid of telling their secret wishes or what is really on one’s minds.

They are those who knows our every mood and can brighten even the cloudy days.

They are one who is slow to criticize, but quick to praise.

But do friends feel jealous of each other? If yes, then how can they be friends? Were they sharing the bond of true friendship? If no, then how can they be with each other for so long?

I really don’t understand that if friends are true, then why this backstabbing occurs? How can one even do that? Whatever happens is just misunderstanding or really meant to hurt someone? If it is a sheer misunderstanding, then in friendship does gap widens this much that this misunderstandings can’t get cleared up?

These are few questions which keep me confused and I keep thinking about it. Mind says that “Yes! Its backstabbing which your friend did for their own mean reasons”, but heart says that “Its just small misunderstanding that has happened and it would be cleared soon”

Reality is still unknown…..