Democracy

My sleep got interrupted around 5:45am today morning Saturday. Usually i get up at 6:30am, so it was little unusual as per my sleeping pattern. With one eye closed, i swiped my phone to unlock it. First thing i see every morning is CNN app to see if anything 'big' happened anywhere in world while i was asleep. Nothing much was happening that time, so i switched to my second app 'USA today' and again everything usual. Then saw the 'breaking news' flashing over my TOI (Times of India) app with the emerging winners of recent polls held in five states in India and among them were the results of Punjab state. 

Congress has won again in Punjab and it was no surprise given the worst reputation of BJP ministers. Some were hoping against hope to see AAP to emerge as winners, but they did pretty well winning over 15% seats in their first ever elections outside Delhi. And surely it's a good sign for the new Government not to feel so complacent after their huge margins of victory. In coming days, the transfer of state powers will be done in a peaceful manner. One of so many things which we take for granted.

How easily the commander of state accepts his defeat and respects people's decision by resigning from the Chief minister's post. What if he had plotted an attack on opposition's leader or had disrupted the elections or had plainly done something to defend his seat by going against the constitution. Few decades ago, it wasn't a very hard task to fantasize the above scenario. I remember very vaguely reading the newspapers or watching news of violence at election booths or disruption on counting of votes at the electoral centers. Army used to be stationed at electoral centers to ensure peace during counting. There used to be a unusual uneasiness in markets or offices during the power transfer. Huge protests were held by people marching on the streets either in favor of ruling government or against it, disrupting day-to-day life of common man. Schools and colleges were closed on the day of counting and sometimes a day before too. 

After waking up, i went through some more information regarding the election results and how the defeated candidate congratulated the winner in elections and winner graciously accepted the wishes from the ex-CM. There was no uneasiness, neither any protests were held by ruling or opposition party. Everyone accepted the decision of people in a graceful manner. 

Silently, Democracy won again. 

Contentment part-2

I talked about contentment in my last post about how i, as a kid, was more-or-less content with my life. I wouldn't say i had all the luxuries at my expense, but my parents gave me enough to make me feel fortunate. When i would see someone's parents working so hard as rickshaw-pullers or bus drivers, it made me realize the importance of every penny my parents had spent on me. Studying in a normal school (and not in convent) opened me up to all corners of world. Some kids from those corners where dogs were fed the cooked meat  at the weekend parties - while some from those corners where people ate the leftovers. When I would see kids sittings besides me wearing worn-out shoes, how in world could i muster the courage to ask my parents to get me a new pair of shoes simply because i'm fed up of wearing these for two months. I might muster the courage to ask my parents for another pair of shoes, and i might get one too. But my conscience would have felt ashamed next day sitting right next to that boy who still seemed happy in his old shoes.

As we grow up, these short stories get lost in this race to achieve some short-sighted goals of life. Once in a while, these memories would cross your mind when you see some kid walking down on road with bare feet under scorching sun. These memories would make you forget your worries to fix your car's AC or looking for a better apartment. But this moment doesn't last long. You forget all those faces of kids who once were your companions in school, but couldn't make it to an expensive college like yours. You might boast to snatch the credit by giving excuses of putting so many years of hard work, but deep down in your heart you also knew that those faces were more than capable of achieving what you have achieved in your life so far. Not pointing fingers towards anyone, i myself have forgotten so many faces which got lost in this race. I still vividly remember one such face, and i can say with all my belief that he would have got miles ahead of me in this race, had he gotten the luck with which i came into this world.

Such feelings make me realize the importance of everything i possess in my life. It makes me feel satisfied with whatever i possess. When i go to sleep at night, sometimes i smile and feel happier about the smallest of tasks which i completed that day. These small moments bring the joys of life which sometimes grand achievement fail to do..

My frame

Many times we come across people in buses or trains generalizing the mindset of society in one liners like - We, Indians, can never be honest in dealing financial matters. It may be true or may not be so, but i'm not going to judge people or our society here. Been here in US for more than four years now, I've come across this question many times. For instance, once my fellow traveler while coming to India said something like 'As soon as you reach Asia, you find noisy people boarding planes and creating chaos everywhere'. I didn't react to his sudden outburst, but passed a smile. As an Asian myself (not sure what exactly is the criteria for being called an Asian, and for how long can i continue to be one of them), i was in agreement that Asian people posses less patience compared to their western fellows. But this perception is also confined to only what i've experienced so far at airports. Neither am i an avid traveler nor a visionary that one should believe what i perceive as right or wrong in my frame of world.

But then question arises - Is it really so? And if yes, why is it so?

One fine morning i was walking down my hotel's elevator in New York. I was in a hurry for a meeting at one of our client's office which was ten blocks away from my hotel. As i came out of my elevator, an old lady was standing besides the door carrying a heavy suitcase. Before she could move her feet to get near it, people around her rushed into the elevator and there was no space for her again. Next elevator came to a halt. One pack exited and another entered the elevator with same intensity and she was standing still at her place. I approached her to ask if i could lend her a helping hand to which she graciously agreed.

Due to this incident, i got late for my scheduled appointment. But the contentment of helping someone took over the little disappointment caused by being late. The same question arises- Do Asians posses less patience than their western counterparts? Not really in this frame of world.

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Update May 15th

The intent for the above writing was to showcase that people are same all around the world with some differences in terms of culture, race, religion, habits - But when it comes to survival, all react in same manner. We all will do what we deem is beneficial for us. Then we think of our loved ones, and then society. One can't compare the skills or habits of two persons who have been brought up in two different worlds all together. This is a great shame that it still occurs so commonly in this world. So, next time you're about to make a judgement on a person based upon his/her looks, clothes or color- think twice. 

The part of life called "Being married"

Yes, you read it correct. This part of my life is called "Being married". After been known to each other for more than half a decade, we tied the sacred knot on July 1st in India. Just like any other couple before getting married, we had our fair share of moments of mild fights and awkward silences. The long distance (around 12,000 kms), which could have played a nasty role in taking us apart, couldn't even erode a fraction of the trust we had on each other. 

It's been almost three months now since I've entered this new phase of life. The day she arrived in US for the first time, i understood what responsibility actually means. Studying hard to get good grades, complying with the norms of society or not being dependent on anyone usually go hand-in-hand with terms like responsibility. But this word got a new meaning when i first came to pick you up at Orlando airport. Coming to terms with the changes my life would undergo from that very moment, had made me feel nervous. I had made this conscious decision of marrying you not in haste. I was the happiest man to see you at airport while your eyes were still wandering across the huge hall, but deep down my conscience was questioning my belief whether i can take care of you or not. My conscience wanted me to say aloud that i'll keep my promise to stand by you, no matter how adverse the times would be. Yet my feeble heart was making attempts to soothe my perturbed mind with reassurances about which perhaps no one was confident of. 

These three months had taught me a great deal of things and experiences. The most important would be the mistake which i committed by thinking of this relationship as a responsibility. More often than not, life will give you an opportunity to correct the mistakes. Writing more about it will only expand this post, because there is no better way to experience it than to live it yourself. I hope you shall excuse my prolonged disappearance considering the changes my life has undergone in these past months. But relationships never hinder the path your life always wanted to sail into, rather brings a fresh meaning to your goals. Then be it your professional career or a silly post which you scribble once in a while..

Three incidents

While I was waiting at London heathrow terminal for my next flight to Delhi, I never thought time would pass so quickly.

A lady, in her late 50s was sitting besides me and talking on the phone with her relatives in punjabi. She almost covered all the topics of discussion I've ever witnessed in my life so far. From food to jewellery to clothes to land deals, and even to the extent of hiring some famous goons to get some job done.

But soon enough, I had lost interest in her talks. 

A man, again probably in his fifties came up to me and complimented my skills for photography which I was doing an hour ago. Apparently from his accent, it was evident he was from southern part of India. He was going to India for a two weeks visit to meet her mother and to attend a vocational course on spiritual teachings in Chandigarh. He told me about his native place, somewhere near Mysore. Since his city was at the juncture of three states- Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Kerala: he could speak almost five languages fluently. I was pretty impressed by his knowledge and his simplicity. Then he left to make some phone calls, hence ending the discussion on a sweet note.

Suddenly another guy, this time an American in his forties, came up to me. After usual introduction, he told me that he was going to India to meet a girl whom he had found through shaadidotcom. I was amused listening to an American guy going to India for the very first time to meet his to-be-future-soul-partner. I know India is never a pleasant place for the first time visitors. Just to make sure that this guy shouldn't get into any trouble, i asked him if he had ever talked to the girl's mom and dad or other family members. Here i got the first shock, though i was expecting it to come somehow. Girl had been brought up in an orphanage and she was living alone in Pune. This could be a very well planned trap to make some money from this rich American guy. But i couldn't muster the courage to tell him so. He told me some colleague of that girl was coming to pick him up from Mumbai airport and from there on, they'll drive to Pune. I wished him best of luck, and at the same time prayed to God that all would be good with this guy.

And we parted our ways from the lobby to our respective flights: mine to Delhi and his to Mumbai. 

Written while sitting in plane on October 23, 2013.

Victorious struggles

The days of struggle are numbered now. But we must not lose the courage to deal with the remaining blows. The grit to keep moving ahead on the chosen path will take us to our destination. Someone had rightly said, "Harder the battle, Sweeter the victory". Keep nudging forward on the path, many will try to stop you, many would become the barriers, many would try to dishearten you; but remember the victorious thumping of drums will sound the sweetest. The smell of success will be tempting like never before. No matter how bleak the present seems, our future will be as promising as one could ever imagine.

FIR (First Information Report)

A tale narrated on Twitter by @cyclingsultan when he had to go to the nearest police station to file FIR for his stolen wallet in New Delhi.

Do I have to go to the nearest police station to register a FIR? I just found out my wallet was stolen on the railway station last night. Does anyone know what the procedure is when one loses a wallet? I just blocked my bank cards. Now what, next?

Thanks a lot for all your helpful suggestions. heading to the police station now to register an FIR. I lost my PAN and Election ID Card too.

If this is what I had to go through in just getting an FIR from the police, imagine the plight of someone who needs police help in distress. I had it relatively easy as I could exercise privilege by speaking to them as an empowered citizen. I managed to get the stamped letter.

Despite digitizing complaint system the police still fill forms in triplicates. I had to write the same letter three times (just like that). First they kept made me change the word 'stolen' to 'lost' because it would be hard to prove in the courts. Rewrite the letter again. I did. Second, after writing the letter second time, it got passed around and within five minutes was promptly lost among the various desks.

My diction/clothes helped too. The police know class divisions better than most. I lost my temper and gave a earful. In return, the officer gave me one too for having too much on his plate. But why lose a letter I gave? Third attempt at writing letter, while a junior police officer was assigned to simultaneously copy the letter in word on a computer.

After a 30-minute wait, I was finally given a letter, which was promptly signed & stamped. I thanked them all & left the station. Phew! They didn't want me to write all the items I had in my wallet. They didn't want me to mention cash. They wanted me to mention 'lost in Agra'. The officer made it clear. He said don't make our life difficult. Just say you lost your bank cards and your official ID cards. That's it.

He was dictating the letter to me like I didn't know how to write. If I formulated my sentence, I was being out of line with his template. Another chap (not from Delhi) who had lost his laptop on the train was told not to stress them as they should take care of their belongings.

The police station in India has to be the most depressing (frustrating) place in the country (apart from government hospitals). I still had it easy. I was out in an hour from the police station unlike others who are made to wait & wait till they give up on the system.

End of an era..

1. God retires..

Hardly there would be anyone in India who was born in 1980's and haven't heard about Sachin Tendulkar. The name itself speaks for the class and temperament of a man (also known as GOD in India), who single-handedly could change the mood of millions with the swing of his bat. His ton used to be post-talk of the town for the entire week. Schools, grocery stores, colleges, Govt offices, private corporations; none could ignore the charisma of that man.

I remember vividly my childhood days, when Sachin was yet to become what he was destined for. He was just another member in cricket squad, some commentators yet giving me some undue attention for his younger age. It took him 96 one-day matches to prove his worth, after scoring his first ton. As he played more and more matches, his stature started building in the minds of cricket fans. Every parent wanted to name their child after the great Sachin, every child wanted to become Sachin Tendulkar, or atleast wanted to fulfill their dreams by atleast acting so. May it be school matches or in colony, every opener never considered him less than Sachin. At that age, we never thought that a day would come when we won't be able to see our star in action anymore. We just wanted him to play and play and play forever till eternity. As soon as he used to come out to bat, there were prayers on everyone's mind and a heart wishing him the very best all over again. Although not even a single person would want him to get out, but this game broke the heart of many fans time and again. The time Sachin used to get out, tv sets were instantly switched off and everyone cursing the fortunate bowler who would have never forgotten the moment when he claimed that priceless wicket of Sachin. A feelings of disgust took over the whole country.

Irrespective of your age, gender and profession, he was on everyone's mind. I still remember vividly turning off my television as soon as he got out, and this trend continued for over a decade. Now since he has retired, I wonder for whom will I love this game again as I have loved it for all these years..

Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their TV sets and switch off their lives.

2. India awakening..

The girl sacrificed her life to awaken this nation from her long slumber. The decision to shift her to Singapore came after she suffered a cardiac arrhythmia at Safdarjung hospital. Armed forces asked Govt to shift her to Pune, as AFMS has the best team of doctors currently available in whole Asia. AFMC also agreed to do the full Intestinal transplant at their centre. But Govt knew it very well that they won't be able to handle the situation in India, in case she dies. Fortis team suggested that private hospitals are much better equipped than Singapore one. But neither was she shifted to AFMC Pune, nor to any other super-specialty centre. Hence she was shifted to Singapore solely based on political interests. Safdarjung team (all govt employees) announced that she'll be treated under the supervision of Naresh Trehan (Padam Shri and Padam Bhushan) at Singapore. None of these experts would openly go against the regime. Private hospitals who could've handled it didn't want to risk image hit in case she dies. The girl finally succumbed to her injuries, landing a tight slap on the face of this shameless nation, who calls herself rich in culture and human values.

The protests which took place in the aftermath of this horrible crime give me a hope that India is no-more unaffected to what happens to our neighbors. We are not going to tolerate it anymore, But we still need to take a rational approach for bringing the change in society. In my opinion, neither laws nor strict punishments can deter such criminals from committing these acts. The charity must begin from home. It must start from the moment a baby is born. We need to teach them to respect everyone as humans. Nothing else could have summed up the feelings of entire nation better than these poetic lines:

With the passage of time, the candles shall burn out and lose their flame...
The flowers offered with devotion, shall in the absence of water, get dry and weathered out...
The voices of protest both vocal and silent, shall lose their strength...
But the 'fearless' ( nirbhayata) fire that has been ignited, shall rekindle the flames in our hearts...
The waterless dry and weathered flowers, shall be brought to life drenched by the tears in our eyes...
With a burning throat the soul of 'Damini' and 'Amaanat', shall be voiced in the entire universe...
That I am the mother, sister and daughter of my Bharat...
Respect and dignity are my birthright possessions...
Bharat the country is my Mother...
Forget about me, become at least the recognised worthy face of your Mother..!!”

Humanity vs Religion

Born and brought up in Punjab, I've read so many stories about the not-so-great past of Punjab. The partition of India in 1947 resulted in death of so many innocents on the sacred land of Punjab, The land known for its fertility was soaked with human blood of so many religions, castes and races. It took years to revive from the horror of partition (wish i could forget the war with Pakistan in 1965 and 1971). After so many struggling years, it felt Punjab was progressing on its path to peace and harmony. But the destiny was predefined, one more crises took place in 1984, Operation blue star. So many innocent Hindus and Sikhs were burnt alive in the name of religion. By the time i was born, things had calmed down a bit, but this internal war in Punjab gave everyone a scar which would never heal. When the rest of the world was embracing the new technologies with open arms, India was still struggling to maintain law and order in so many states. While others were thinking upon the ways to improve the standard of living for human life, people were divided like never before in this part of world. I read a lot about the heinous acts committed by the same humanity, whom we say is the smartest species on this Earth. Some stories narrated one side of coin, while other was bent in the favor of other side. But i had to choose a path for myself deciding what was right and wrong.

The conclusion i drew was Religion. Religion divided the humanity, it made us look foolish in the eyes of God, it made a human an enemy of humanity, peace and prosperity. Beant Singh, the former Chief Minister of Punjab, was accused of killing thousands of innocent Sikhs in the aftermath of 1984. The vengeance was taken by killing Beant Singh in bomb explosion outside his office. Did it result in the victory of those families, who had lost their loved ones? Their lives were still the same, nothing changed. None was victorious, it was a defeat for humanity. Humanity lost to Religion (Humanity-0, Religion-1).

Far away in middle east, some Islamic countries were still struggling to find a way which could suit their religious needs, and at the same time should not become a bottle-neck to the path to prosperity. Here the story was not similar to what was narrated in the above paragraph. The human was still trying to justify its living by fighting for their religion. The commandants preached by the Mohammad (The God of Islam) gave humanity a reason to spit in separate groups.  Osama Bin Laden, a hard-core Islamic fundamentalist took revenge from Americans by killing their innocent citizens. He convinced many of his followers that the only way to survive is by hatred and murder of other religions. Yesterday i was reading a discussion on Balwant Singh Rajoana where some people were calling him a martyr. If Balwant Singh is martyr, then why not Osama Bin Laden? Calling one extremist a terrorist, while other a martyr is real absurdity. But yes, [some] people in middle east still consider Osama bin laden a martyr. And humanity lost once again to religion  (Humanity-0, Religion-2).

By no means, i want to offend any follower of Islam or any other religion, but it forces me to think of the times in which we could have lived without posing any restriction on any human being by any religion. One instance came to my mind when i imagined a world free of restriction and religions.  The world of these animals and birds. I envy these birds and animals so much. Their world seemed much better place than the world we live in.  They all have same set of rules, either 0 or 1. While the humans (the so-called lucky ones) have million set of rules to separate each other on the basis of religion, caste, color, wealth etc. One kills the other to claim victory of one's religion. One hates the other to show superiority of one's race. Everyday so many people are killed- some celebrate the victory while others prepare to take vengeance. Among the thumping victorious slogans and rant of losers, the Humanity loses this battle everyday.

Rarely one would see an elephant killing another elephant or a lion hunting another lion. Why God has made this human species look so dumb in front of other living beings. Every other species have a set of rules which they never violate. All migratory birds can go where-ever they want with the change in season. But human beings can't go from one country to another. We have put so many obstructions and barriers to our path of progress. The religion which evolved due to some great souls who wanted to enlighten the humanity to show them the path of progress, must be watching [in dismay] all these acts getting unfold with passing of each day. All such obstructions and barriers standing rigid have belittle the importance of religion in my life. To me, my religion is purely and solely my business. It has nothing to do with anyone else's life. If a religion is harming my freedom in any way, that for me, is just a taboo. Atheists are better human beings, the reason being at-least they don't interfere with anyone else's business. I wish the Almighty has made us a little more dumb, so that we could have understood the importance of humanity. I gave a vent to all the disappointment and frustration building inside me through this post.

I hope better sense will prevail over humanity and more people will choose religion as a supporter of humanity, rather than its enemy.

PS- This post is not for religious fanatics.

A new world

With fingers crossed, I made a foray into a new world in January. A unique world where all that matters is either 0 or 1. Yes, probably you guessed it right: the digital world. It feels funny after working on huge power system components for last one year, i switched to take some computer engineering courses. Calculations of mega and giga watts reduced to mere 0 and 1. Output is either 0 or 1, how simple does it look? Some new languages, new operating systems and a brand new way of conceptualizing the stuff, this is all what I'll be learning (Or at-least will try to learn) in my last semester.

But these times are not the desired ones ever in my life. I'm standing on a wooden plank in midst of a vast sea, with no clue where these waves will take me. All i can do is keep flowing in the direction of tides. California, New York, Maine, New Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad all seem to be pretty far. I make plans and they all fade into the thin air in a wink of eye. Nothing seems certain, yet making all attempts to find the shore. Just flowing with the strong gushes of tides hoping they'll take me to a place where i will be standing among the successful and breathing the same thin air which once had eluded me from my goal. Apart from these uncertainties, there are some certainties too which always brighten up my life. Today is one such day. I wish i could express it but sometimes feelings are better understood than being said.

Yesterday I spent an unusually longer time editing my resume, or rather pondering over it. I've been involved in so many sports since childhood and fortunately still going strong. I used to play cricket (like any other Indian kid) in school and at the weekends. Though i still remember the class race in which a girl beat me in school days. During under-graduation, i played almost every game; Table tennis, chess, volleyball, basketball, lawn tennis and of course cricket. It was a time to learn something i was never very fond of. As the clock strikes 5 PM, the heart starts missing the chlorinated smell of water in the swimming pool. Since December, i've tried to be consistent in swimming and have done it well too. This one hour in a day is the most refreshing one for me. In February 2011, this feeling of entering the water used to give me jitters. A mere thought of entering into waters had never been less horrible than a dreaded nightmare. This one year i have overcome this phobia of water. I vividly remember all those unsuccessful attempts of splattering water all across the place yet couldn't stay afloat for half a minute. I used to crib why god has made this water blue (don't tell me it's transparent), a color of sadness and dullness. This phobia has been overcome; the same water which once was the color of depression has become the epitome of vastness and learning. This is the color blue which men like. Four consecutive rounds of free-stroke swimming under 2 minutes. Does it say more appropriately what i've learnt during all these times? I hope, yes.

 Last winters were undoubtedly the hardest I've ever faced in my life.  This time I'm more prepared to face the harshness once again and hopefully will see it never again. Surprisingly it has been quite warm this winters with very rare occasions of snow fall. But i do admit nothing makes a place look better than a light whitish layer of snow over the grass and edgy slopes of roof. I used to have a painting in my bedroom when i was a kid. A beautiful house was painted on a canvas depicting a sunny winter morning and a child looking out of window over the snow-covered mountains. It always fascinated me to travel to such a place, where i could actually see such landscapes. Never mind, but reality never has a stark resemblance with imagination in any measure.  While i have that surrounding beauty around me for which i always had a longing, but there are no free lunches in this world. Everything comes with a price tag. This month, i missed India like never before. Such profound memories of a place where i've spent more than twenty years of my life, will never fade away so easily.

This one thing i got as a gift, and thought nothing else would keep it closer to me than putting it on my laptop. I love it.

One year in United States..

It all started last year, roughly at around 11.30pm on last eve of 2010. While passing through the check-posts at the Delhi International airport, a thought came to my mind: where this coming year would take me? Pretty unsure of the new land where i was heading to. I had managed to get an insight into the behavior and cultural changes, which soon would engulf me too. After handing over some papers to the immigration officer, i had little time for introspection. Working in an Indian firm for almost three years fulfilled all my dreams till then, yet i resigned from it a week ago looking for a destiny about which even i was not sure of. I had managed to settle down well in that big city of Delhi, but the fear of an insecure future was eating away all my confidence. I admit future is and will remain unsure forever, no matter how much you've achieved so far. That's why its called future. Then what forced me to quit job and i landed up in United States? The continuous fear of a stagnant growth in my professional life, a ghost i was not able get rid of. I attempted CAT, GRE, TOEFL all in one year, after an unsuccessful attempt for GATE too.  After a long struggle for six more months, i got few acceptances from universities without any funding and still a long wait for the CAT results. In last week of November 2010, i got the much awaited visa and funding for the higher studies. And here i was almost ready to board the plane for the first time in my life.

The first funny thing i got to know was about the currency of US. All notes (notes are called bills here) were of same size but on every bill different personalities were engraved, unlike India, where you could see only MK Gandhi on every bill. Yes, the plane was huge but still i was unsure how this big thing could manage to fly for hours to take me to the other side of world. I was little nervous, but then all those other folks were not foolish enough to stake their lives for few thousand dollars. I buckled up my seat belt and soon i could see that wonderful view of the capital city. The long journey ended when i got out of 30-seater plane to reach the destination at 11pm on first January. The chilling winds and an uncomfortable dizziness welcomed me to US. Nobody was there to pick me up, as most of  students had been to New York for celebrating new year and the rest were not so interested in helping me out. It was totally deserted outside the airport at mid night. A couple of other passengers had someone to pick them up at airport. I looked out for a cab and found one standing at a lonely end of road. A fat white guy was sitting inside, somehow i gathered the courage to ask him to drop me. It was a cold dark night with -18 degrees and white snow sparkling all around the place. For the first time, i had seen the snow in such abundance and it looked lovely. Then started the journey to my friend's place from the airport. Those lonely roads with not even a single car, different sign boards hanging, huge stores and coffee bars on roadsides looked very similar to what i had seen so far in Hollywood movies. Finally moving into the darker ends with just a road driving me through woods and a complete stranger was accompanying me. I had no other option, but to trust him. After one hour drive from airport, he pointed out to a house and said," gentleman, here's your destination". Far away from those coffee bars and huge stores, it was a totally deserted place with snow on rooftops, on roads, windowpanes.  As far as my eyes could see, it was all snow.

I saw the Indian guy, whom i had talked to over phone, coming out. He was expecting me too. He showed me the room to stay there for few days till i find my own accommodation. The room was a dungeon cell, and i never expected that people stay here in such a manner which i couldn't even imagine. Though it was totally carpeted floor, well ventilated, but it was nowhere closer to my expectations. I made the resolution that i would move out from this place as soon as i get a better place. It was almost mid night, and i had one black coffee and a sand-witch since morning. The other guy pointed towards the kitchen. Kitchen was stinking, and yet there was nothing cooked inside it. Two plain bread toasts and lots of water was all i ate before sleeping that night. Though i always thanked that guy who helped me voluntarily with no intentions of getting any favor from my side. The night passed without any further troubles, and helped me to relax after the long journey of 33 hours.

Next day i went to meet my professor and it was probably the first instance when i felt better after arriving in US. The university was huge, and my department had every kind of advanced tools which one could ask for in Electrical engineering.  The first few weeks were little different, i used to talk less but people were really friendly. Soon i found a new apartment with an american friend and life started becoming smoother with passing of each day. During first semester, life was all about studying and making food. It ended on a high note with two straight A's in both courses and few food recipes which i had mastered so far.  Then came the summers and i saw the snow melting unleashing the beautiful grass beneath it. I saw the beautiful greenery at a place, where i thought none other than snow can ever exist. Time was spent luxuriously making trips to Boston, New York and Salt lake city. One more semester came, and i passed it again without a single B this time too.

During all these wonderful times, hidden were some dark times. The times when i used to felt so lonely, days passed by without talking to a single person in real. Phone and internet accompanied my loneliness. So many festivals came and left without getting noticed. Diwali was spent studying for the tests, while others just lasted like status update on Facebook. This one year brought so much change in me, i value every act how-so-ever small it may be. I cherish every moment spent with my loved ones, times may not remain the same forever. I love to eat my own cooked food, and have stopped complaining about it. Human species is same everywhere, every mother in this world cares for her child. Everyone wants to be loved and every heart regrets the feelings of hatred.

The life made me learn these lessons in hard way, while rewarding me for the patience which i kept in my heart always. It's 7pm in evening, not sure about my plans for tonight. I might end up cooking food, then eating it and hoping that One day this too shall pass..

The Japanese Wife

While surfing internet after getting home in evening, a line caught my eye," I couldn't stop crying after watching this movie. The epic since Pather Panchali 15 years ago". The heading was written in English and Bengali in an old-fashioned manner of british times. I didn't expect it to be updated, as kolkata is still struggling to free itself from the shackles of British rule. Those out-dates modest lines were written for a movie, "The Japanese Wife". Though i always wanted to see Pather Panchali, which is considered to be the best piece ever created in Bengal, the land of intelectuals, but i never got the chance to see it.

I haven't read much about Bengal history. Moreover born and brought up in Northern part, Bengal, to me, is as far as any other middle east country. Once the famous capital of India before the British rule, a city known for its trade and European architecture buildings, is still reeling under the wrath of union groups and worker strikes. One could hear the outcry over outdated infrastructure and politics around every corner of street.  I'll be happy to get any updates on this issue. The movie starts with flowing waters of river malta along the banks of an old town Sunderban. A mediocre house in a dilapidated condition in which an old bengali women cladded in a white sari is cleaning the kitchen. Rahul Bose rides a bi-cycle back to home.

Wearing the traditional Bengali dress, He talks very less but in a very polite manner in Bengali and his tone gets even more polite while talking in English. As the name suggests, he's been married to a Japanese women, whom he has never seen. On the other side of world his wife resides in a small village near Yokohama, Japan. A young Japanese girl with small eyes and fair skin, staying with her ailing mother. They both are just pen friends. They have been sending letters to each other for last fifteen years. He sends her the bangles on their marriage anniversary, and she sends him the kites made by her.  Her only wish is to see his husband before her life ends. She hopes one day her mom will recover from her illness and then she can go to stay with her husband. Her husband is tied with the responsibilities of widow (Riya Sen, wife of Rahul Bose's friend) and his late mother's sister, whom he calls maushi. They talk with each other through letters, almost once a week. Half of Rahul Bose savings goes into writing the letters to this wife. She sends him a camera from Japan, so that he can send her the pictures of his house and his maushi too. He tells her the reasons why a Bengali women have to shave her head and  wear a white sari after her husband dies.

 A few weeks passed by and her mom dies leaving her in the world with a hope that she'll meet her husband one day. That day of hope when she'll have enough money to go to India and see her husband for the first time in life. The story unfolds into the dark when she is informed by her doctor that she's also suffering from a rare generic cancer.. She still hopes for the best and share this sad news with her husband. One can see Rahul Bose's emotions falling apart upon reading the letter of his wife in which she informes of her rare cancer disease. Rahul Bose feels helpless tied with the responsibilities of his family, and can't let his wife to die fighting lonely. He convinces himself that he has a duty towards his wife too. He tries whatever he can to support her cancer-stricken wife in Japan. He goes to Kolkata, the biggest city near his town to get some suggestions from the reputed doctors. But even doctors deny to prescribe any medicine without the medical check-up of patient. He asks various homeopathic and ayurveda specialists and sends the medicines to his wife in Yokohama. One could feel the pain of this Bengali man, in his mid forties walking on the slippery mud at the bank of river malta in deep thought on what he should do to save his wife. Despite all his efforts, her health is deteorating with every passing day. He tries to call and talk to her though a phone booth in Kolkata, but ends up paying 500 rs for a wrong connection. He makes trips to various doctors and specialists to get any help for her wife, but all in vain.

This poor man walking across the doors of hospital has already experienced so many hard-ships in his life. The monsoon season starts and all the bus service and boat service are halted for an indefinite period. Rahul Bose decides to go to Kolkata to meet another doctor, and while coming back he catches the pneomonia. One week in bed and still no letter or telegram from his wife. One night he himself passes away. The message is conveyed to his wife through a telegram, who herself is too frail to write a letter to her husband.

The weeks and months pass by. The widow Riya Sen and Maushi are staying in the same hut. The Japanese lady gets off the boat at the bank of malta river and asks a guy to help her find the address of Rahul Bose's house. She is wearing a white sari and her head is shaven, just like a Bengali widow. She has finally reached to her own house, where she always wanted to come, but only to see her letters and gifts packed in a corner of a dark room with a framed photograph of her husband.

October musings

Nothing makes my heart sink to the bottom as much when i see these lovely evenings. It brings back those lovely moments which I've cherished every year till now. Settling sun's rays passing through the layers of thick fog and clouds, the wind catching up with the chilling waves and festive season of Diwali round the corner. I'm still not able to digest that I'll be away from my home this Diwali this year. I have never imagined not being there on Diwali, never even thought about it. As if it's in my destiny to be there every Diwali. Those pleasured moments of packed bags over the weekend, buying gifts for everyone, the soft touch of wool are still livid in my mind.

Since childhood, it's the first time i'll be miss the cool breeze under the settling dusk of sun. Nothing looks more lovely than the beginning of winters in Northern India. Walking through the district center at Janakpuri, when you can see everyone wrapped in the fresh light wool of winters. I wish i could be there to have few mugs of barista coffee in such a weather.The memories of walking though the busy CP circle in the evening, looking for the gifts seems like yesterday only. The shops full of sweets and wrapped gifts, those sights will never fade. The hope i'll live it once again keeps me alive. This hope still keeps me alive, the desire to see the beautiful evenings once again. Will walk through those busy malls once again in my life, will live these moments once again in my life. I'll love every single bit of bit, without complaining for the minor chaos. I want to live my own profound memories once again, in this gifted life.

Life is worth spending this fabulous month of October in India. October will come and go, but this heart will always crave for your musings.  God, I'll ask for my chance to relive this month of october next year. I don't want this to ever fade from my memories. If never possible again, at least i'll be content with a mere thought that I've spent some of the happiest moments of my life in India.

Tata's cheapest car

Many visionaries have put forward their opinion that India will outperform US in 2030 as the next democratic Superpower (China ignored). I've read a few out of these and I am sure many of those reading this post are also aware of US losing its sheen in financial meltdown of its economy. Just like any other Indian citizen, I was also proud of the fact to see my country a superpower ignoring the grey shade that still more than half the population of this fast developing country resides in rural areas with no access to basic amenities of living, yet reading those articles in top-notch journals made me believe that our country would become a super power in two decades.  Some of those articles which i could briefly mention in this post-

" India is an emerging geek superpower - Angela Saini, Guardian "

" With more than half of Indian entrepreneur and managers believe that India will become superpower by 2030, and every four out of five support the fact that India is going in right direction " quoted another article in an online forum. The idea of this post is not to compare the stark resemblance or ambiguity in thoughts and reality and I am no-one to judge the criteria which highly complex and deceptive in nature. Since I have spent this little time in US, i came to know a little about the economy of this country. What I've sensed here is quite amusing, and is far away from what is depicted in the articles back home. This country is known as "The land of Abundance" and yes, it is indeed. It's not a tough task to determine the attitude of common citizens of this country, and it's pretty similar to any other human being across this land on earth. All one needs is a home, a secure future for one's child and some money to enjoy the life and fulfill the timely needs. I've tried to understand how the citizens here think about their country and economy, and to be disgust, they are not much bothered unless they are getting paid well to enjoy a vacation in Miami or Florida in summers. To my utter surprise, last week i read an article that this summers only half of the population have enough money to enjoy a vacation abroad, rest staging a protest against the economy for low salaries. How many in India do have this privilege of spending summers abroad without worrying about work? Unless people don't have sufficient balance in their bank accounts, they don't bother at all about the ruined economy or war against Afghanistan. This little insight into the minds of local citizens must have given you a fair idea about fun-loving and lavish life-style of people here. With no intentions of criticizing the locals, all i want to express is my independent opinion about this country which had once tamed the world economy with its technological and managerial advancements. Till now I've been to few places here and it fascinates me to see the long-term planning and vision for future so vivid in terms of infrastructure. The planned highways, inter-state US highways, parking lots, postal system are few of the examples, where US led firms are far ahead.

A major chunk of US budget goes in medical insurance of each and every citizen of US. The first and foremost right of every human being is to get the basic medical facility. Before a home to live, a meal to eat and imparting education to judge what's good or bad, one's health is of utmost importance. If you remove this one point from US annual budget, it is still roaring high with a GDP rate of over fifteen percent. But i agree in terms of economy, the GDP is always gross taking into account all the budget deficits and surplus to calculate the GDP growth. Among over hundred countries surveyed for the annual budget deficit for the year 2010, US ranked lowest with India at third lowest. It clearly describes the correlation between these two gigantic economies of world. India surely is trying to buffer its economic system from the tight constraints from outer world and have succeeded to quite an extent too. A country still known for its poverty rather than growth, known for its caste and reservation system rather than meritocracy in technology; my professor asked me expecting me to answer his question,

"Do everybody in India now owns a car since Tata's have launched their cheapest family car only for two thousand dollars?"

I wish I could have an answer..or at least own the same car  to answer myself on this front..

Identity crisis

Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have,and it's often only found in moments of truth - Alan Rudolph

~~~~~~~~~

This definition has kept changing throughout my life. Since my childhood days, I've been trying to keep my identity unique. Everybody wants to be different, wants to look different, to think different, to speak different, even to the extent of being completely different from the own surroundings.

The more you run from your values and culture, more they'll haunt you. And once you embrace your values close to your heart, all looks so serene and peaceful.

I am no different from others in this respect. When i used to go to school, I had some values which marked me different from others while some values resembles too. Born and brought up in a village, it became a matter of continuous struggle for me to prove others wrong that villagers were not illiterate.  First thought that may come to your mind at this stage or may not, but it used to be the stereotypical expression of the most that I would quit the school soon after my fifth grade. At least that was how my friends had thought about me and put me in a position to always defend my identity as a school-going kid; not a dropout working in a paddy field. Circumstances changed and brought a change to my thinking too when i left that school after tenth grade to take non medical stream for higher education. Some looked upon me with sympathy for coming to tutions from so far in chilled january mornings and some were just amused to see a kid from a village. I am right now and have been pretty sure during all these years that i look no different from other boys in my surroundings. I used to wear the same clothes as other boys, same colors like others did with some subtle differences in my accent of dialogues.

My introduction to others also keep changing with every step ahead in my life. When i joined college for my bachelors, it changed to the city Amritsar. Now i was not a big-headed fool from a village anymore. Except a very few friends, for the most I was guy just like others from Amritsar, with a little accent in their Punjabi and fond of kulchas. Those four years were different because some looked upon me with envy because of so many coaching centers in our city, which according to them helped me secured a seat in electrical stream. Yet I was just another guy from a good city for the most of the flock. It all changed again when it came to introduce myself again in New Delhi. A good part of my team was constituted by the southerners, so Punjab was enough to distinguish me from the group. Time went well for me and i made a good reputation in my small group. That reputation built up the perception for others from my state or city to be good in work too. Lived few years with reputed perception and moved on for more.

Becoming a mask for a country with more than a billion population wasn't very exciting. The identity of my village, the city and the state were long and far gone, it became a matter of country. The luck was favoring me this time, the once called big-headed fool from a village was paid all the attention being an international student from a country, known for her dominance in producing the most sharp brains and geeks in world. I enjoyed every bit of attention, but sometimes it's too heavy to keep it on your shoulders all the time. Some moments spent shrugging off this burden were memorable, doing the things not so methodically as were expected from you had given me some joyous moments. Now since I have left my previous identities far behind, sometimes i miss them. A simple student in college from yet another city, a simple kid in school trying to fight for an identity crisis which had never existed anyway and so much more of nostalgia is attached to these souvenirs from the past.

Yet it had been a good journey always being in a majority with very few moments facing the wrath of isolation. Everyone has to climb up this arduous path to bring glory to yourself and to your identity. Your identity never meant being an individual, it means a lot more than you. An identity is a mask of whole community and your actions are perceived as the cultural values of your community. Those who are wise enough never fell into this trap created by the society, rather they look for wisdom in their own thoughts to mock an individual or the whole society for one's actions.

Being wheatish..

The first thought that comes to your mind will be is this post related to color, caste or race. A straight NO should fit perfectly in your mind, as this post has nothing to do with such things. Weekend was here and i wanted to make something special to eat. Weekends are always special here with all the work related worries gone for a moment. I always look forward for this lovely weekends to try some new dish, and this time it was 'ROTI'. You got it very right, the same roti which is mentioned for so many various purposes. For a larger proportion, it's a simple mean of eating a meal to satisfy their physical needs. Others use it as a propaganda for their political motives, some use it to attract the middle class for Bollywood by inserting this word in various dialogues, songs and movies (Remember "roti kapada aur makaan" or  "do waqt ki roti"). Though these days even lower middle class is not very reciprocative to this filthy slang. Reverting our attention on the heading again, i was not trying to make some extra-unique dish with roti. To accept the fact, I haven't eaten a simple wheat roti for last five months and eighteen days. Yes, the same tasteless roti which you might be munching right now reading this post (I wish your screen breaks apart into pieces if you're doing so).

To make this dream of eating roti this weekend, i pulled out the bag of wheat flour from the bottom racks. I remember not so vividly though, i had got this bag for $10 from the gorcery store within first week after arriving to US. A new place, new habits of eating pastas, salads, pizzas, burgers and loads of rice with my Indian friends. Most of the Indians here are from the southern part of India so it's not very unusual eating rice in almost every meal. After that I got busy with my course work and other office chors that i almost forgot about this pile of flour in the kitchen rack. A thin layer of dust had deposited over the bag, i did little dusting before opening it with the knife, the smell and stuff looked so familiar. It brought back those memories of complaining while eating this same wheat everyday, a place where rice were used to be cooked only on special occasions and burgers were not eaten more than twice in a year (birthdays and school result's celebrations :-P )

Yellow daal was to be served with the roti, so i managed to put the daal for cooking in a pressure cooker (Hawkins, exported from India, is the only brand you could see in every south asian student's place). Splashing the flour over the table while making it ready for cooking, it filled me with a sense of excitement. I was actually excited to eat a roti for the first time in this not-so-short span of 24 years or so. I had seen countless times at my home, that hot stream of air coming out of cooked wheat flour and was expecting the same while cooking it. I put it on flame for around a minute, yet no air came out and it was still sticking to the flame. I put the other side on flame just to see the front side giving brownish fumes, extra heating could a a reason, i guess. Somehow i managed not to overcook the other side as well. Finally i was ready to eat this roti with one side over-cooked and other half cooked. Luckily daal didn't spoil the party-mood and came out as expected with little less salt. When i tried to pluck one part of roti, the inner portion got exposed and it didn't take much time for me to understand that the sticky flour inside was not cooked properly. I managed to eat it without any delay, because i didn't want it lose its little softness getting dried up. The tongue's bud has enough of this wheat, making me realize its the same tasteless wheat roti. Eating it after such a long time, after dozens of frozen paranthas, few dried tortillas, frozen wheat stuff, it is undoubtedly the best chunk i have ever eaten in last six months. I sit down on my chair, relaxing eating and enjoying every bit of it. Just finished eating my first roti in last six months.

The first moment when after eating this tasteless wheat, I am actually feeling "Happy"..

Social media; a fad or revolution?

Social media has expanded its network in no-time and has outreached the capacity of any imaginative thinking. It started almost a decade ago with few networking sites launching their platforms on internet for ordinary people to interact in a more casual manner than e-mails. Among those few remained a hit while others were wiped out in this giant wave of social networking. In terms of real success, Orkut was the first networking site though it took sometime to mark its presence in the new roaring age of internet. Personally too, it was my first experience of being in this new lime-light of social media, where you can reach far out to the outer world. I made the most of it by opening account on it, later shifting to the blogger to give a vent to my feelings into the outer world. I still remember refreshing my homepage again and again to see some new update on my scrapbook, roaming on to the scrapbooks of others; some were clapping with happiness while others fuming with disappointment. It looked as if everyone had got in a relationship with the social media, a personal space of your anonymity expressing your thoughts in your very own way, giving a very little importance to what others would think of you. It became a voice for voiceless, a source of power for the weak and backbone for the spineless human.

When some thought it might be the end for this new fad of social media, networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn gave it a new meaning. It explored a new dimension of people, a new media to interact for all levels of communication, It suited every age-group; from a teenager looking for his/her crush to older ones trying to reunite with their batch-mates and family spread across the world. With six months,the number of Facebook users surpassed the population of majority of nations. It became a new tool for the industries to market their product and giving the real insight to the reviews of same product for the consumer market as well. A brand become a synonym to one's lifestyle and showing off your new gadget could set you apart from the bunch of ordinary men and women. With the expansion of this era, more companies started pouring in this new business with a wide set of ideas and culture values. Invention of new applications converged all sources of information to just few websites. Surfing on these websites for few hours will make you feel like visiting some community fair, discussing and exchanging your ideas with people from entirely different backgrounds. To listen to some song, i prefer surfing Facebook rather than YouTube. Companies who couldn't afford a separate chain for marketing their products got a new media much more efficient and powerful than its outdated counter-part. Some firms made millions of dollar using it wisely by reaching out to its customers while others were dusted from the market for not giving due attention to its customer-care chain.

The author has put it so lucidly to define its importance in present marketing world : From Social Media to Social Strategy.

Baba: the black sheep?

Swami Ramdev has taken over the command from Anna Hazare to continue the protest againt corruption. The Indian economy has been reeling under this monstrous corruption since british left it in 1947 following the financial losses incurred by UK in second world war. Everybody had a dream to live, to breathe, to rejoice in a fresh air free from all the impurities. Before we realized, this monster had taken charge over the minds of many, that very few were left to fight against this corruption. Many generations came and went unnoticed, some tried to wipe it out but before they could contribute a little to their sacred land, it was time to leave.

Anna hazare got the limelight when he started his fast till death to pass Jan lokpal bill in Indian constitution. People got an opportunity to raise their voice in an unequivocal manner against corruption, and it succeeded to some extent as well. A swami famous for his yoga teachings cured many of his followers from ailing and chronic diseases. People worshiped him for saving their lives all across the land. In a corner, he was also watching all this drama getting unfold and thought why not contribute his part to this crusading protest against corruption. People unaware of his little political understanding started following him without giving any real thought to its aftermath. The problem arose due to the complications in a democratic world where the laws are meant to be passed through the cabinet, but not through blackmail-ism by some ordinary men. He thought of taking undue advantage of his iconic stature to address some real issues in a deplorable manner.  Nevertheless his fan following rose to higher levels with each passing moment. At the same time, he was also criticized for his uncanny and arrogant manners towards his disciples. Foul-mouthed swami asked for banning 500-1000 rupee notes, proposing the education model should be in regional language taking away the only reason (English language) of unity among all citizens. With some more hatred speeches against government, he asked for making a militia of armed men.

Is it really justified for a yoga teacher to talk about militia of armed men? Even he felt helpless so he went against his own words very next day. A school drop-out (8th grade, to be exact) is asking the countrymen to follow him for passing the political laws to save the country from corruption. The governments over the past few decades has left no chance for ordinary and uneducated icons of our country, but to rise against this evil practice. The cause is genuine, very honest and purposeful but the means are as impure as this practice of corruption. Please think about it before joining this mass protest, whether your voice against the government is putting the individual freedom and democratic rights in a jeopardy or not?

the awakening dream..

I called my younger brother in a huskiness tone to put the cycle off the stand, so that we can go to temple. In the meantime, i put those two small aluminum wrapped paranthas in my jeans pockets and started running towards the outer gate. The weather couldn't be better, with minute particles of dust dancing in the settling light of sun, eyes trying to focus on ground envying the brightness of sun. Same street patterned in most haphazard manner with bricks pointing out of the plane, yet the tires of the cycle refrain ourselves from the bumps. I had already put enough food in my pockets yet was little gleeful about the hanging packet with some sweets over the handle of cycle. I never wanted to eat more pizzas, vegetable rice had replaced water from its place (consuming more rice than water in a day); never wanted to get away with chance of eating home cooked food.

Driving through the mud slopes of open road, noise of peddles tearing the greased hook of chain and we reached the temple. It felt god has given me one more chance to cherish these wonderful summers of my childhood. Watching the water pumping out from the big nozzle of tap, reserved in a pond and it was more clear and serene than my soul ever was. Dipping my feet into the pond brought respite to my scratched mind, much required at the moment. Even the water felt so sweet, much sweeter than what i used there in a far-away land. In short, I was lucky to be home from thousand miles of strange world. It was getting dark, yet the path was same upon which i had traversed for millions of time. Splashing water with my feet felt much better than those ruffled feet in white snow. Eyes were sparkling with those few lamp shades hanging outside the houses, could hear the cries of infants asking for food, smoke coming out of the chimneys in kitchen making my eyes sparkle even more, thinking about the days where this smoke was hard to see after eating dozens of plates of burgers.

I missed these long prayers, which i heard early in morning. Cushioning the pillow over the face to avoid the voices made me think of the days where there was no one to fulfill my longings to hear some unwanted voices. Alarms were ringing, could hear the chatters of my cousins getting ready for school, milkman banging the door despite telling him the door-bell hanging on the right side. Life was getting back to normal, and i got up. Looking out of the window, through the white lifeless snow made me realized, it was just a dream !!!

Happy Independence day

Sixty three years of independence has brought so many changes in our system, marked are so many winning occasions tailed with few forgettable moments too. Surpassing one billion mark on its population front, India is still facing major issues like energy, power and infrastructure.

Being a Socialist country, first comes the welfare of society before an individual's. This very logic of putting society's welfare before individuals is causing most of the trouble in its path for a developed nation. A very few readers are accustomed to read such posts of mine, but every word shall be free from the dirt of politics. I defy politics because it ruins the individuality of a person, the one who puts his heart to take this system to a higher level has to pass through the dirty lane of politics, and none has ever come out of it clean.

Taj Mahal is famous all across the globe. People all across the world comes to visit and if you ever have a chance, you must have noticed the disparity in the entry fees for a foreign guy and a local lad. A traveler ends up paying more than one thousand rupees to see the fascinating beauty and an Indian enters its premises for a bare minimum attempting to pluck two or three flowers from a prohibited park. Why is this disparity? Some may agree with the notion that it could help to earn more revenues which can be utilized for the development of our country. Charging an entry fees hundred times more from a foreigner is considered as an act of welfare for our country.

And if cab driver charges twice the actual amount, he is declared a rogue.. These are double standards prevailing all over the India. For the name of society, even the theft of money from a foreigner is justified.